Victoria
Tuesday, 8. September 2009, 07:23:09
Yesterday I went to the hairdresser.
For those of you having noticed how I appear on photos, I'd better mention that I am well aware that it would be a waste of good money if I went to the hairdresser with the intention of dressing the poor remains of my hair. And since I am not a milliohaire, I wouldn't dream of doing a thing like that.
No, on the contrary I drove The Missus, she who must be obeyed, to the hairdresser. While she was dealt with by the also pretty looking hairdresser, doing what hairdressers do and talking with my wife the way women do, I thought I could just as well sit down and read a magazine while waiting for the end of the hairdressing process. I was looking forward to going back home. Lunch was waiting. And I like eating salmon on rye bread for lunch. With a beer.
I browsed through the magazines on the very small table next to me. I looked for car magazines, sport magazines - or, if everything else failed me, a magazine about photography.
There was nothing like that in the pile of magazines on the very small table. I had been given a very small cup of coffee, though. In order to help me pass the time, I guess.
I sat patiently with my very small cup of coffee, waiting. I finished the coffee in one and a half minute. At that time the two beautiful women - the hairdresser and my wife - hadn't even finished their hellos. I knew by experience that figuring out what kind of hairstyle, what colour of eyelashes and what sort of spraying-stuff to apply to The Missus' hair would easily take another five to ten minutes. Doing the decided stuff would be another hour. After that my wife would probably spend 10 minutes deciding what kind of expensive shampoo to buy before we could finally hit the road and get home to the impatiently waiting salmon on rye bread with a beer.
I picked up a magazine. I didn't know that mag, but I understood that it was about well-known people. Not that I knew any of them - but that's probably my fault. They were apparently all rich. They had style and class. They also had a lot of worries - like what house to buy, or what solicitor to use when they had been the innocent victim of some scam - or sometimes about what to eat in order not to become so damned fat.
Suddenly I noticed somebody I knew! Victoria Beckham!!
I understood that Victoria Beckham would very much like to appear on the cover of another magazine called "Vogue". But earlier the pretty Victoria decided to have a photo-shoot with a third magazine called "Elle" - and now "Vogue" would know nothing about her.
Victoria was so sorry. She felt abandoned. Serious problems. Very serious problems.
Being such a kind and helpful man as I am, I decided to help Victoria Beckham out. Maybe those stupid editors on "Vogue" were ignorant and posh, but at least I would like to make a difference.
Dear Victoria (I hope it's okay to address you this way) - it may be that it's a cruel and vicious world out there, but now you can at least tell everybody that you appeared on Allan's Weblog.
I do hope this helps.
And the salmon was fine, the beer even finer. After two hours everything goes.
Without further adieu, I will end this entry.
For those of you having noticed how I appear on photos, I'd better mention that I am well aware that it would be a waste of good money if I went to the hairdresser with the intention of dressing the poor remains of my hair. And since I am not a milliohaire, I wouldn't dream of doing a thing like that.
No, on the contrary I drove The Missus, she who must be obeyed, to the hairdresser. While she was dealt with by the also pretty looking hairdresser, doing what hairdressers do and talking with my wife the way women do, I thought I could just as well sit down and read a magazine while waiting for the end of the hairdressing process. I was looking forward to going back home. Lunch was waiting. And I like eating salmon on rye bread for lunch. With a beer.
I browsed through the magazines on the very small table next to me. I looked for car magazines, sport magazines - or, if everything else failed me, a magazine about photography.
There was nothing like that in the pile of magazines on the very small table. I had been given a very small cup of coffee, though. In order to help me pass the time, I guess.
I sat patiently with my very small cup of coffee, waiting. I finished the coffee in one and a half minute. At that time the two beautiful women - the hairdresser and my wife - hadn't even finished their hellos. I knew by experience that figuring out what kind of hairstyle, what colour of eyelashes and what sort of spraying-stuff to apply to The Missus' hair would easily take another five to ten minutes. Doing the decided stuff would be another hour. After that my wife would probably spend 10 minutes deciding what kind of expensive shampoo to buy before we could finally hit the road and get home to the impatiently waiting salmon on rye bread with a beer.
I picked up a magazine. I didn't know that mag, but I understood that it was about well-known people. Not that I knew any of them - but that's probably my fault. They were apparently all rich. They had style and class. They also had a lot of worries - like what house to buy, or what solicitor to use when they had been the innocent victim of some scam - or sometimes about what to eat in order not to become so damned fat.
Suddenly I noticed somebody I knew! Victoria Beckham!!
I understood that Victoria Beckham would very much like to appear on the cover of another magazine called "Vogue". But earlier the pretty Victoria decided to have a photo-shoot with a third magazine called "Elle" - and now "Vogue" would know nothing about her.
Victoria was so sorry. She felt abandoned. Serious problems. Very serious problems.
Being such a kind and helpful man as I am, I decided to help Victoria Beckham out. Maybe those stupid editors on "Vogue" were ignorant and posh, but at least I would like to make a difference.
Dear Victoria (I hope it's okay to address you this way) - it may be that it's a cruel and vicious world out there, but now you can at least tell everybody that you appeared on Allan's Weblog.
I do hope this helps.
And the salmon was fine, the beer even finer. After two hours everything goes.
Without further adieu, I will end this entry.


Darko # 8. September 2009, 07:22
Julka # 8. September 2009, 10:06
BTW - is it really such a distress to wait in the hairdressers for your Missus? I never understood why men are so impatient
der Wandersmann # 8. September 2009, 14:26
Angeliki # 8. September 2009, 17:12
one doesn't see often at Allans ' place
maybe because he doesn't visit the beauty parlor very often
*sarcasm* + *fun* + *salmon and beer* =
hugs to the pretty Mrs
Angeliki # 8. September 2009, 17:13
forgot the rye bread!
der Wandersmann # 8. September 2009, 17:49
Only one, though.
My laundry can't stand any more.
Stardancer # 8. September 2009, 21:16
Have a great day!
Allan # 8. September 2009, 21:39
To be honest, going to the mall with a woman, or a group of women, also going downtown, to the beauty parlor or the furniture exhibitions is very, very agonizing. I feel like a dog at a tea party. I don't know the rules, the agenda or the scheme of things. Everything is Egyptian to me.
A question like: "Aren't these shoes sweet?" leaves me with only one thing to say: "Eerr, umm, hrmm". I don't understand the question. How can shoes be sweet? How can they be not sweet? They are shoes, for pete's sake. They look uncomfortable. They are red. They smell like leather. But I never get that sort of questions. All I hear is "Are they sweet?"
Good grief!
PainterWoman # 8. September 2009, 21:53
As for sweet, I think David Beckham is sweetest.
muse # 9. September 2009, 01:00
der Wandersmann # 9. September 2009, 04:42
The second question: "Is there a possibility that they might stop a snake strike?" For someone mucking about in certain environments, that is extremely relevant.
Martin K # 9. September 2009, 05:15
Allan # 9. September 2009, 07:00
Wandersmann, you have a sound and sensible approach to footwear.
@Finnish guys: You have a sound and sensible approach to footwear, too. But you might find it difficult to ride a bicycle.
Edward Piercy # 10. September 2009, 20:23
Richard # 11. September 2009, 19:54
Allan # 11. September 2009, 21:10
Droll? I l have learned a new word today. Thanks
studio41 # 12. September 2009, 07:36
I do hope this helps." You are the funny one.
sounds like a lovely morning, hope the coffee was a good one-- and btw, which sort of shampoo was chosen... just curious
Allan # 12. September 2009, 07:48
The salmon is bought in the mall, and in this case it was gravad salmon. It's salted, fermented and served with dill.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravad_lax
The shampoo? I don't know - but it says "For dry hair" on the label. I think that is nonsense. She only needs it when she's having a shower. I don't know what they mean.
Martin K # 12. September 2009, 08:33
studio41 # 12. September 2009, 08:38
Originally posted by ricewood:
studio41 # 12. September 2009, 08:39
Originally posted by Aqualion:
Martin just invented it.
Martin K # 12. September 2009, 08:46
Human life is utter nonsense.
Allan # 12. September 2009, 10:49
Standing naked in front of a full size mirror always amuses me. That's downright funny. Always cracks me up.
Martin K # 12. September 2009, 15:17
der Wandersmann # 12. September 2009, 15:46
Originally posted by ricewood:
Joni # 13. September 2009, 05:38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA
studio41 # 14. September 2009, 06:03
Originally posted by Aqualion:
here, Martin, I'm gonna try this one this fall: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Beer-Cheese-Soup-II/Detail.aspx
Allan # 14. September 2009, 07:18
Excuse me while I find a place to faint...
Martin K # 14. September 2009, 07:35
Darko # 14. September 2009, 14:28
der Wandersmann # 14. September 2009, 14:46
Martin K # 14. September 2009, 17:17
studio41 # 15. September 2009, 07:49
Originally posted by ricewood:
Allan and Darko and all other doubters, it is so delicious! you must try it!!! and put popcorn on top as garnish...
Allan # 15. September 2009, 07:52
Julka # 15. September 2009, 18:04
Originally posted by ricewood:
Haha.
Men just don't understand a thing, do they?
studio41 # 16. September 2009, 06:40
Allan # 16. September 2009, 07:20
I know you are serious, Jill. Bu so am I. If you offered me to taste the stuff, I would. But I would be very suspicious.
studio41 # 16. September 2009, 07:23
Allan # 16. September 2009, 07:29
studio41 # 16. September 2009, 08:44
Allan # 16. September 2009, 11:27
studio41 # 17. September 2009, 05:09
Originally posted by ricewood:
I've had before, and from experience