Allan´s Weblog

I know that some of the regulars here at Allan's Weblog have been wondering about my whereabouts.

I have been absent for more than twenty days now, which is highly unusual for me.

There is a perfectly good reason, though; I have spent the days in hospital. I will now give you a simplfied summary of the conditions which brought me to where I am now:

At July 17th last year I visited my GP complaining about an aching back. The Doc examined me, but couldn't find anything unusual - after which he sent me to some X-ray to check my back more thoroughly. Also my inner organs - kidneys, liver, stomach and others were checked - but nothing unusual was found.

My back was still in pain, though.

Then I was put on a waiting list for a check up at a specialist.

In the meantime, the weekend before New Years Eve, I simply stopped eating and drinking. Monday I began vomiting. I was checked again at my GP who said it was most likely a severe stomach infection. That condition lasted to Wednesday December 31st, when I began throwing up feces-like matter. At that time I got really scared, called an ambulance and was hospitalized immediately.

I was CT-scanned, and the pictures showed that something was blocking my colon. Within two hours, they performed the Big Stomach Surgery on me, and after waking up I was told what was the matter.

I have a fairly big tumor sitting on my pancreas - which for the last six months have been the reason for my aching back and my digestion problems.

Right now I have just been "released" from the hospital and I am feeling better than I have been the last six months. The tumor is still there, though - but in two weeks or so, when I'm strong enough, I will undergo more treatment in order to fight the cancer.

Well, that's the way it goes - with a blink of the eye I now have cancer. It's life-threatening indeed, but I can tell you that I am not falling into a big, black hole or anything like it. I am determined to fight - and I don't fear death.

I am worried about my family, though - and I have been taking the necessary initiatives to secure particularly my wife, if my time on this planet is soon coming to an end.

Otherwise I look at it this way:

I might have two, ten or twenty years more before my time runs out - but either way I will struggle to bring life to my years rather than bring years to my life. The years I have left must be good. I will fill them with love and laughter. Also with prayer and thoughts. But love first and foremost.

About this weblog, business goes on as usual. There's a new tag among the others - called cancer. And cancer will occasionally be what I'm writing about - but all the other good old features will still be in focus. And for you people who are nice enough to comment - don't be scared to ask about the cancer. You won't do any harm by that - and I will answer any questions you might have to my best ability. Whatever you do - please get close to the subject. I will feel much better that way - if I am surrounded with silence, I will feel lonely. In Cyberspace as well as in "real" life.

That's all for now, nice people. Don't be sorry for me - looking back I must realise that I have already lived a full life - so my remaining time is just a bonus. And I'm determined to enjoy my bonus and thank my creator for it.

See ya, folks!