So, What's Up Doc?
Monday, 19. January 2009, 14:48:41
I have been absent for more than twenty days now, which is highly unusual for me.
There is a perfectly good reason, though; I have spent the days in hospital. I will now give you a simplfied summary of the conditions which brought me to where I am now:
At July 17th last year I visited my GP complaining about an aching back. The Doc examined me, but couldn't find anything unusual - after which he sent me to some X-ray to check my back more thoroughly. Also my inner organs - kidneys, liver, stomach and others were checked - but nothing unusual was found.
My back was still in pain, though.
Then I was put on a waiting list for a check up at a specialist.
In the meantime, the weekend before New Years Eve, I simply stopped eating and drinking. Monday I began vomiting. I was checked again at my GP who said it was most likely a severe stomach infection. That condition lasted to Wednesday December 31st, when I began throwing up feces-like matter. At that time I got really scared, called an ambulance and was hospitalized immediately.
I was CT-scanned, and the pictures showed that something was blocking my colon. Within two hours, they performed the Big Stomach Surgery on me, and after waking up I was told what was the matter.
I have a fairly big tumor sitting on my pancreas - which for the last six months have been the reason for my aching back and my digestion problems.
Right now I have just been "released" from the hospital and I am feeling better than I have been the last six months. The tumor is still there, though - but in two weeks or so, when I'm strong enough, I will undergo more treatment in order to fight the cancer.
Well, that's the way it goes - with a blink of the eye I now have cancer. It's life-threatening indeed, but I can tell you that I am not falling into a big, black hole or anything like it. I am determined to fight - and I don't fear death.
I am worried about my family, though - and I have been taking the necessary initiatives to secure particularly my wife, if my time on this planet is soon coming to an end.
Otherwise I look at it this way:
I might have two, ten or twenty years more before my time runs out - but either way I will struggle to bring life to my years rather than bring years to my life. The years I have left must be good. I will fill them with love and laughter. Also with prayer and thoughts. But love first and foremost.
About this weblog, business goes on as usual. There's a new tag among the others - called cancer. And cancer will occasionally be what I'm writing about - but all the other good old features will still be in focus. And for you people who are nice enough to comment - don't be scared to ask about the cancer. You won't do any harm by that - and I will answer any questions you might have to my best ability. Whatever you do - please get close to the subject. I will feel much better that way - if I am surrounded with silence, I will feel lonely. In Cyberspace as well as in "real" life.
That's all for now, nice people. Don't be sorry for me - looking back I must realise that I have already lived a full life - so my remaining time is just a bonus. And I'm determined to enjoy my bonus and thank my creator for it.
See ya, folks!



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PainterWoman # 19. January 2009, 15:42
Oh Allan, I am in tears and almost speechless. I don't know what to say other than may God be with you. I can say be strong, but I think you already are. Now we all have to be strong too...for you.
musickna # 19. January 2009, 16:21
I wish you the very best.
Ravo # 19. January 2009, 17:24
Pancreatic Cancer used to be a death sentence, but now, there are new tools to deal with it, including transplants. You are a strong man with a good attitude, and seem to have the will to win. This is the most important aspect of your coming therapies. I look forward to reading positive reports from you about your recovery. Best wishes for you and your family!
Aqualion # 19. January 2009, 17:48
Your friend
Martin
wickedlizard # 19. January 2009, 17:50
ellinidata # 19. January 2009, 17:59
Thank you so much for the update Allan,
I know you will come out a winner at the end!
it might be scary at times but giving up to fear will help to nothing!
Taking colorful pictures, expressing love and receiving will be a great way
to boost and stay put on that posititve thinking
that you always have!
I love you much and you know
already how much I missed you!
" if I am surrounded with silence, I will feel lonely. In Cyberspace as well as in "real" life"
ha!
no chance on this
I love to gab !
but you know that already!
*hugs* best wishes for a speedy recovery
lokutus_prime # 19. January 2009, 18:21
Alan, I strongly believe that a personal, profound, love & hope, combined with a spiritual belief and faith, in support, are all key factors, together with skilled medical care and support, in remitting cancer and defeating it. I don't want to fill too many words here because the essential thing is to tell you that there is real hope. God bless you and your family.
gdare # 19. January 2009, 18:22
Cheer up and stay well. I want to come one day to Danmark and have a beer with you
ricewood # 19. January 2009, 20:28
Thank you - from my heart.
cakkleberrylane # 19. January 2009, 20:38
Stardancer # 19. January 2009, 20:48
musickna # 19. January 2009, 21:43
ellinidata # 19. January 2009, 21:59
misund007 # 19. January 2009, 22:10
I am really lost for words. I hope you will have a speedy recovery, and as always I will read your blog. You are not alone
wickedlizard # 19. January 2009, 23:09
edwardpiercy # 20. January 2009, 01:15
"Whatever you do - please get close to the subject. I will feel much better that way"
I am glad that you told me/us that. Some people are very personal about that type of thing, about any really personal issues. In any case I certainly would appreciate finding out info about your progress in all of this.
CANCER is only one tag. There are many others that are on the good side.
kiyoshi # 20. January 2009, 02:11
life is beautiful, and thus we cherish it; sweet memories stay around us, yet sweet dreams of future sing by us; we're here, together, no matter what happened!
take care.
I_ArtMan # 20. January 2009, 02:46
that's a good line allan.
i missed you almost right away and couldn't figure it out. i know you well enough that if you were able you would have signed off. so i was a little worried.
i love your spirit.
i sometimes imagine what i would do if i found out i had cancer. you never know what you'll do really, but i think a good attitude can be cultivated.
i don't want to ever die, but if i must i'm not going out with any resentment either. it's been a great life and i am grateful for having it.
by the way,
i have your horseback story in three posts. make sure you start three posts back for continuity. love you man
PainterWoman # 20. January 2009, 03:06
sanshan # 20. January 2009, 04:57
BabyJay99 # 20. January 2009, 07:17
pabha # 20. January 2009, 07:25
Dacotah # 20. January 2009, 07:59
Get strong soon so you can start treatment in fighting it.
Best wishes.
nopanic # 20. January 2009, 09:58
RuneSB # 20. January 2009, 10:48
Tamil # 20. January 2009, 11:40
zetorres # 20. January 2009, 12:35
Nice you let us know all about, and you let us help you by our best way, our comments jokes, photos, blogs and messages!
Here you will feel happy with our support and friendship!
Be strong Alan
It seems you gives us the strong, that is you that need it!
I hope you understand... you are the srongest man!
Dudley # 20. January 2009, 12:42
CultureSurfer # 20. January 2009, 13:41
1bluebox # 20. January 2009, 14:07
qlue # 20. January 2009, 20:10
more than that I cannot do.
God is powerfull, ever mercifull.
Whatever shall be is by His will.
ricewood # 20. January 2009, 20:23
Thank you ever so much.
pjbatty # 20. January 2009, 20:53
You're inspirational at the best of times and I have no doubt that you will pull through this challenge that life has dealt you.
All the best and take care as always.
Peter
Dacotah # 20. January 2009, 22:32
BabyJay99 # 21. January 2009, 01:03
lokutus_prime # 21. January 2009, 01:21
sprogger # 21. January 2009, 02:44
I wish you a full and speedy recovery.
Salve! # 21. January 2009, 07:54
I am sure you will win!
BabyJay99 # 21. January 2009, 08:12
lokutus_prime # 21. January 2009, 09:38
zetoh_mesquita # 21. January 2009, 10:38
norfrid # 21. January 2009, 13:01
lokutus_prime # 21. January 2009, 13:16
Cynthia23 # 21. January 2009, 13:40
coxy # 21. January 2009, 14:38
Anonymous # 21. January 2009, 18:39
Hi Allan !
I was overwhelmed by reading your post yesterday and didn´t know what to say or write.....That is not a happy thing for you to be told......but you do take it very brave and Thanks for being so honest about it here on your blog....I appreciate that....I think it is a good thing to talk about it, which you of course do with people you are very close to, but here on your blog has been a lot of people missing you while you were on hospital....and nice having you back...I was wondering where you were but said to myself, that you probably were busy by something and that it can be nescesary to take a break once in a while....but you had no choice and now you have to deal with a cancer......hope things will work in a positive way, while you are a wonderful person to be in contact with here in the blogworld....and since I´ve met you in person once, I sure feel I know you a bit more....and we had a nice chat then, I remember.....I´ll be back as usual, Allan ...nice to have you back and know why you were away....sending you good and positive vibrations.......and a loving and caring thought...
Duplo # 21. January 2009, 21:11
As you know I have been absent for some time as well, hearing this brings sadness to my heart and my thoughts are with you, your wife and family.
It is difficult to find words at times like this, but your attitude is as many aspects around you, remarkably strong. Had I been a religious man, I would have had you in my prayers, having you and your wellbeing in my thoughts will have to suffice.
Stay strong.
WillYum # 21. January 2009, 21:50
ricewood # 21. January 2009, 21:57
They are all equally welcome - I feel happy about it all.
Actually I still feel good. I have high spirits and am still determined to live my life to the rim of the cup. I am still not sad. I am still not depressed. My main emotion must be "determination".
You guys are a great help - as are my "physical" friends and my family. At times like this you realize that you have friends. Real friends.
Most of all I feel privileged.
PainterWoman # 21. January 2009, 22:01