truth
Wednesday, 9. July 2008, 05:04:28
the argue ment had been brewing for weeks. with the tension of the world they had been startign to collaps. the simple cold looks as their worlds brush by the other in all the simply ways that lovers worlds collide. he stil had the question on his mind, why had she left with him. why did she trus. i knew whe was wondering the same. how did he know what he was doing. the knowlege more clear then the questeion and a thosand times more troubleing.
"you at his side as much as any one in Germany.
he trusts you.
and you do NOTHING"
she stares into his eyes with more conviction then she had known that she could.
he turns his head down to see the fool instead of her passion
"this isnt in my hands, you know"
"my life, the lifes of all the world, not in your hands?
thats all you have to say for your self?
who are you?"
the words rining a familiar note in boths ears although they both new that they had never been said before.
he starts to raise his eyes to face to face her and let her see the man she knows to him glowing through his eyes, but catches a beam of light burning through the windows, long since shuttered, on his way and blinks sun away.
she starts agian... still with the shaky broken conviction that filled fer last question, only this time more relized.
"you cant even look at me..."
"no, you know who i am.
you know i cant stop this."
he knows these words are lies.
this is his doing, he couldnt say it to a soul.
he knows that all of this is his. he feels it from farther with him him and with more convicetion then he has ever had in his life.
"you and your Riche... this is all shit, every second
i hope you know it was your hand pressing a needle into my arm. the arms of my sister my father... my mother..."
the last part of her words trail, clearly too much for her to even speak, but she has.
tears will in her eyes. she hold one arm at the elbo while it rises to her face.
he falls towrds forward towrds her as if pusshed, to hold her, to make it right to remind her.
she shrugs out of his grasp. backing towards the door.
still hiding her face with her hair now sobbing uncontrollably, clearly struggling to take in air.
he doenst know how to react... hes hurt and lost, and knows with every secont that this is justified. he would hand her the knife push through his chest if it would help.
why cant he stop this. his mind races. an image of bodies in a feild. the tree line in the edge of vision clearly trimmed back in the edge of his vision. he servays the site with three officers following him.
hes in full uniform.
he lets his eyes flow over the bodies as the dogs wresle trhough them looking for any sighn of motion.
german and russion uniforms are mixed, all covered in blood.
his vision passes one uniform and haults. he knows, but how could he.
a german uniform face down in the mud, he steps forward and signals for the follers to stand back.
leaning reaching for the fallen solders shoulder.
he pushed back to reaility wit hthe slaming of a door.
he still standing incapble of movement for that moment.
then like a drowning bow find the surface of a lake he finds his breath and moves, with new convictstion. ariving at the front door just in time to slam it shut and place him self between her and the only exit.
"look at me.
You know me.
you know this face, these eyes,
if i could stop this i would."
now believing his words he continues
"things will get better,
please,
look at me"
her esys timidly lift to his lift to his for the first time since the door slamed
"we will all ways have each other"
he speacks softly and truely
"im sorry..."
the words ring
she breaks down and clutches for his arms he embraces now allowing his eyes to bleed as well.
both loosing them selves in the other.
the words intermingle and each speacks for the other,
i love you im sorry
they collaps in each other and stay there with their eyes bleeding untill the sun is well over and set.
"you at his side as much as any one in Germany.
he trusts you.
and you do NOTHING"
she stares into his eyes with more conviction then she had known that she could.
he turns his head down to see the fool instead of her passion
"this isnt in my hands, you know"
"my life, the lifes of all the world, not in your hands?
thats all you have to say for your self?
who are you?"
the words rining a familiar note in boths ears although they both new that they had never been said before.
he starts to raise his eyes to face to face her and let her see the man she knows to him glowing through his eyes, but catches a beam of light burning through the windows, long since shuttered, on his way and blinks sun away.
she starts agian... still with the shaky broken conviction that filled fer last question, only this time more relized.
"you cant even look at me..."
"no, you know who i am.
you know i cant stop this."
he knows these words are lies.
this is his doing, he couldnt say it to a soul.
he knows that all of this is his. he feels it from farther with him him and with more convicetion then he has ever had in his life.
"you and your Riche... this is all shit, every second
i hope you know it was your hand pressing a needle into my arm. the arms of my sister my father... my mother..."
the last part of her words trail, clearly too much for her to even speak, but she has.
tears will in her eyes. she hold one arm at the elbo while it rises to her face.
he falls towrds forward towrds her as if pusshed, to hold her, to make it right to remind her.
she shrugs out of his grasp. backing towards the door.
still hiding her face with her hair now sobbing uncontrollably, clearly struggling to take in air.
he doenst know how to react... hes hurt and lost, and knows with every secont that this is justified. he would hand her the knife push through his chest if it would help.
why cant he stop this. his mind races. an image of bodies in a feild. the tree line in the edge of vision clearly trimmed back in the edge of his vision. he servays the site with three officers following him.
hes in full uniform.
he lets his eyes flow over the bodies as the dogs wresle trhough them looking for any sighn of motion.
german and russion uniforms are mixed, all covered in blood.
his vision passes one uniform and haults. he knows, but how could he.
a german uniform face down in the mud, he steps forward and signals for the follers to stand back.
leaning reaching for the fallen solders shoulder.
he pushed back to reaility wit hthe slaming of a door.
he still standing incapble of movement for that moment.
then like a drowning bow find the surface of a lake he finds his breath and moves, with new convictstion. ariving at the front door just in time to slam it shut and place him self between her and the only exit.
"look at me.
You know me.
you know this face, these eyes,
if i could stop this i would."
now believing his words he continues
"things will get better,
please,
look at me"
her esys timidly lift to his lift to his for the first time since the door slamed
"we will all ways have each other"
he speacks softly and truely
"im sorry..."
the words ring
she breaks down and clutches for his arms he embraces now allowing his eyes to bleed as well.
both loosing them selves in the other.
the words intermingle and each speacks for the other,
i love you im sorry
they collaps in each other and stay there with their eyes bleeding untill the sun is well over and set.
