sometimes daily musings on writing..

Since becoming vegetarian, I decided I might not be getting a whole lot of protein. I can't eat a lot of peanut butter (unless it's in COOKIES! Yum! And that would be BAD. Bad, Jill, BAD!!!) or beans (hello) ALL the time, so I thought I'd just eat seafood as far as "meat" is concerned. Since I'm also trying to lose 60 pounds for this competition at work, the seafood can't be fried shrimp, scallops in butter, or crab salad. So, what's left that isn't a lot of calories, has protein, and isn't too outrageous on the sodium scale? TUNA! I am eating things like tuna, fresh fruit, watermelon, romaine lettuce, steamed veggies, yogurt & honey, and Odwalla bars at work in addition to drinking tons of water. And the next day...more tuna, etc. And then tuna for the next day. After that, I'll probably have some tuna for lunch the next day. I just know I'm going to turn into a tuna pretty soon. If none of you hear from me for like, two weeks, I'm probably swimming off the coast of Key West or in a can at your local Kroger. Or Publix. Or Bi-Lo. Whatever store you might have in your area.

These a-holes I work with won't notice; they'll just walk past my office, see a 300+ pound, 6 foot tall FISH sitting at my desk and think to themselves, "She doesn't look very busy." (Hello, have you noticed the LACK OF ARMS, you bastards?) They'll gossip to the other people here, and someone will inevitably say, "Well, all I know is that she'd better get done by end of month. We need those reports."

Hummmmmmpphhffff. It's hump day. That's why I say hummmmmmpphhffff. I hope that I do not turn into a tuna. I have too much to do, and tunas can't do much more than swim, have baby tunas, and get caught by fishermen. Being a tuna sounds like it pretty much sucks except for the swimming part.