sometimes daily musings on writing..

Okay, one of my favorite authors, Karin Slaughter, posted a question on FB this morning, asking if it was wrong to want corn dogs and funnel cakes for breakfast. Of course, I don't think it's wrong to have fair food at any time, but I am, admittedly, a food-a-holic, which is neither here nor there.

As a big thanks to Karin for writing such KILLER (and I do mean KILLER) novels, here's my

Killer Funnel Cake Recipe:

Ingredients:

1 egg
2/3 cup milk
2 tbsp. sugar
1 1/4 cup flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder

Directions:


1. In a deep skillet, heat about two cups of oil over medium-high heat until hot. Test the temperature by dropping a pinch of flour into the hot oil. If it sizzles right away without smoking, it's perfect.

2. Beat egg and milk. Mix all other ingredients in a separate bowl and slowly add to the egg mixture, beating until smooth.

3. Using a funnel, drop into hot oil working from center outwards in a web pattern. (You can use a gallon sized freezer bag instead of a funnel by pouring the batter into the bag, snipping off a small corner of it, and squeezing the batter into the oil.)

4. Cook for about 2-3 minutes, remove from the oil when golden brown and crispy.

5. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve.

6. Fight off anyone trying to snag your funnel cake and tell them to get their own.



You may find Karin's novels at an independent bookseller near you. Support local booksellers!


Here's an idea: Enjoy both at the same time, but don't grease up the pages!

Hey, kids! Now that I have six moments (count 'em...SIX!!), I shall quickly post my KILLER GUACAMOLE recipe. Ignore the typos; I'm on a timeline, y'all.

Here goes, and you gotta PROMISE not to sell this to anyone. Use it all you want; just don't sell it. It's THAT flippin' good.

JILL'S KILLER GUACA-HOLY-MOLY

3 ripe (but not overly so) avocadoes
large handful fresh cilantro leaves (not stems)
1 fat, gorgeous lime
1/2 of a medium red onion (only if it's mild...if it's hot, use 1/4 of it)
sea salt

Options:

1 fresh jalapeno
1/2 of a fresh mango, peeled and diced

Equipment needed:

1 large, sharp (because dull ones are very dangerous) knife
1 medium-sized, fantastic, sturdy bowl
1 large tablespoon (or a soup-like spoon will do)
Something to squish with: a fork, a potato masher, or the above-mentioned spoon
A cutting surface; not one you've used for meats (you should have separate boards)

Okay, ready? Here we go:

Slice the avocadoes around the middle, letting your knife hit the seed in the middle, but not cutting through it. Elise.com has an AWESOME tutorial HERE, YOU GUYS if you've never done this before. Thanks, elise.com!

Remove the seed safely, then scoop out the avocado, in chunks, into your fantastic bowl. Make sure to get all of the fabulous green part closest to the skin. It's so good!!

Do all three like this. Work as quickly as you can so the avocado doesn't turn brown. If you get interrupted, squeeze some lime juice from half of your fat lime onto the green chunks of foodly love and cover the bowl until you can return.

Avocadoes done? Now, we squeeze in the lime juice from the whole, fat lime. Watch for and remove any seeds that try to get in. Squish up the avocado a little to mix in lime juice, but don't go too crazy at this point unless you like your guac pretty smooth.

Peel and dice the onion into tiny pieces. Not, like, so small you can fit twenty pieces onto a penny, but pieces about the size of an early pea. Smaller's okay, larger isn't. Throw the onion in with the avocado.

Chop the cilantro leaves into fairly fine pieces. You don't need to make paste out of it; just chop it small, then add to the bowl.

Optional: This is where you can go a little koo-koo with this recipe. Seed and chop a jalapeno finely; add it for a kick (a few seeds, or all of them, will add LOTS of kick!) or peel and chop up some mango, in pretty small pieces here, too...and add with or without the jalapeno. YUM. 1 peeled and pitted peach would probably work well in the place of the mango half.

Anyway...after all of the produce is in the bowl, mix it up well. You can leave fairly big chunks of avocado if you like it like that. I like mine just like my mashed potatoes...a little bit of texture left in is great. Salt it a little, stir it very well, then try it. Don't go too far with the salt! Your dipping chips are likely to be fairly salty, so take that into consideration.

I hope you love this recipe as much as the rest of my friends do.

This is an all-natural dog treat recipe that you can make at home. Enjoy! (And I hope your dogs enjoy, also!)

Carroty Cheesy Bow-Wow Cookie Recipe

Equipment you'll need:

Medium-large mixing bowl
coffee cup or small bowl for egg wash (see below)
regular fork
wooden spoon
rolling pin
1 C. measure
1/4 cup measure
Measuring spoons
knife, pizza cutter, or cookie cutters
cookie sheets
canola cooking spray

PREHEAT OVEN to 300 degrees.

Ingredients you'll need:

1 can sliced carrots, drained
2 eggs

OPTIONAL: Take out 1 Tbsp. of the egg white and mix with 1 tsp. water in a separate bowl to make an "egg wash" for the treats. Skip if you don't feel like doing this.

1 cup unbleached flour
1 cup rice flour
1 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup wheat germ
3 Tbsp. parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp. dried parsley flakes

Directions:
Combine carrots and eggs in a medium-large bowl. Mash carrots with a fork while blending the two. Keep going until the mixture is fairly smooth. Small chunks of carrots are fine; they will add texture and color to the treats.

Add all of the dry ingredients to the bowl. Mix everything together with a wooden spoon until you get a nice dough.

Roll out the dough on a heavily floured surface until it's about 1/4 inch thick. Cut into squares, rectangles, triangles, or with cookie cutters that aren't any bigger than 2 inches wide/long. Cut out smaller treats for small-breed dogs.

Place each piece on a cookie sheet that’s been lightly coated with canola cooking spray. Make sure the treats are not touching, and then brush them with the egg white mixture.

Bake at 300 degrees for 45 minutes. The centers will continue to harden as they cool.

Store in an airtight container once completely cooled. These can be made and frozen. You can also make the dough and freeze all or part of it. Since there are no artificial preservatives in these treats, you may want to keep these in the refrigerator or freeze half of the cookies once they’re done.

IDEA: Use a bone-shaped cutter to make super-cute cookies. Place a dozen or so baked treats in a clear cellophane gift bag, add a twist tie and some curling ribbon and give these as gifts!

Remember: Please don’t over-treat your pets. Treats equaling 10% of their daily food intake is the absolute limit!