sometimes daily musings on writing..

"The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval."

~Denis Waitley


After all, if we don't approve of our own selves...what do we have?

Brad Cohen, the amazing Cobb County, GA teacher with Tourette's syndrome said, and I quote: "DO NOT GIVE UP." If a man with Tourette's can not only become a teacher but an award-winning teacher, an inspiration to all who encounter him, an author, and a changer of things which need changing, WE, us little people without huge odds against us can win a fight or two against things like weight loss, family dysfunction, lack of self-esteem and lack of direction.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

Where does giving up get you? Back at the beginning? Or worse: Before that? I think before that, because you have to battle with yourself over the guilt and the reproach that your mind serves forth: "You gave up. You were tired. You couldn't. Can't never did nothin', so why are you whining about it now? You gave up. Go back home. Quit trying. You ALWAYS give up. You're not worthy, so quit pretending."

THAT'S where giving up gets you. Worse than nowhere. Worse than back at the beginning. It gets you before the beginning. Two steps forward, three back.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

You are worth more than giving up. I am worth more than giving up.

We can start this week, this day, this hour; this MOMENT. We can start this very second and prove to ourselves (not anyone else, because they have their own proving to do for themselves) that we deserve our own approval. With our own approval, we can move the mountains, climb them if we want, and move them back again to their original positions.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

Four words by which to live. And I choose to live.

...there was a thin girl inside of me, screaming to get out.


I killed the little screeching bitch seven years ago.



It took several dozen pounds of garlic hot wings, hundreds of 2-litre bottles of Coca-Cola, massive doses of chocolate-covered (insert random name of food item here), a little bit of coffee in my sugar every day, a diet completely void of fiber except for the sesame seeds on the Whopper buns, extra cheese on those extra cheese, cheese pizzas, 546 pounds of pepperoni, and at least enough ice cream to replicate a life-sized model of Mount Rushmore.

It can be done, people.

And now, it is being undone. I'm inviting the skinny little whiner back into my life, only on one condition: She can't say a word about sushi, Chinese food or dark chocolate. I'm sure we'll get along just fine.

I walk at night because I don't want anyone to see me.

I sometimes talk myself into eating something that I know is going to push me backwards and ruin the hard work I've done to lose 60 pounds so far.

I don't think enough of myself sometimes to get up and do the extra work I need to do to keep up with my goals.

I have a habit of saying, "I should" instead of "I must" or "I will".

There is nothing that motivates me some days, not even the fact that I could die because of my weight. And I don't know why.

Other days, I have all the motivation I need. Plus some. Like right now, because I am going to quit typing and go outside and do my walk like I told my Mom I was going to do.




Have a great week, everyone.

Yesterday was awesome! It was at LEAST a FOUR STAR DAY because:

I weighed in and found that I'd lost 6.8 pounds in the last WEEK.
I rocked out on "Crazy On You" by Heart on Guitar Hero II. 98%, thank-you-very-much!
I had Hot & Sour soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant.
I finally downloaded songs (from artists like Tool, the Killers, EMF, Limp Bizkit, Etta James, Black Box, Planet Soul, The Police, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, the Eurythmics, Paula Cole, Shawn Colvin, Pearl Jam, DMB, Blues Traveler, Loretta Lynn, Soundgarden, Moby, Blur, and Bowling for Soup) that I've been wanting on my iPod.

How was YOUR day?

On a side note, I hope today doesn't suck. I'm a little weirded out, a little worried, and a little nauseous. I need a drink. In the words of Mike Myers, "Party on, Garth!"