ROBERTA MARIA ATTI

TOMORROW I WILL BE UNDERGOING A 9 HOUR BRAIN SURGERY

Wednesday, July 20, 2011 12:15:30 PM

Time to celebrate! Yes, it's time to put all the nonsense aside and celebrate life, people, animals, music, the Sun, Mon and Stars....I have struggled through a dark interim between the last time I wrote in my blog and now. I have been struggling with nameless fear, self-doubt, confusion, mood-swings, self-pity, etc., etc., not to mention loneliness.

Now this loneliness has nothing to do with the people around me, whom I have come to view more as Angels in disguise than solicitous humans, who have been surrounding me with their love, patience, faith, understanding and compassion. I couldn't be more fortunate in that respect, since I feel held within a huge cocoon of my beloveds' care and protection. No, this loneliness goes much deeper than the feeling of being alone.

It has to do, if I may try to define such a thing, with the sharply, constantly present thought that, when it comes down to what's real, each of us is truly, utterly, irreparably alone. Life puts out out there, where other forms of life remind us we are to participate in their dance and allow then to dance with us, without stepping on anyone's toes, if possible. But once the reality of the normalcy of death enters a person's mind, once we are faced with that inevitable and wondrous adventure that's waiting for us, knowing that, when our time comes, we'll be leaving by ourselves and will have to leave everthing and everyone familiar behind, that's when this unique form of loneliness begins to dawn. And, once it shows up, it never leaves again, or at least that's true for me.

]

A TOUGH TOPIC, FOR A CHANGEEXACTLY ONE MONTH LATER

Comments

Lisa E. Davisldavtoll # Thursday, July 21, 2011 11:25:10 AM

My dearest Roberta: I have never stopped thinking of you, worrying, wondering. If you are having surgery today (7/21) my thoughts will be with you. I feel in my heart that it will be all right. You are much too valuable to us all. Please post more news when you can. We are listening. Love from Lisa in the Village

Lisa E. Davisldavtoll # Thursday, July 21, 2011 10:32:10 PM

She just got out an hour ago. She's aware of her surroundings and in a good mood, but also considerable pain. She's trying to rest right now, we'll know more about her recovery over the next few days. Please let any of her friends that you may be in contact with know how it went. Thanks.
__________________________

For those of you who are concerned, above is a message from Roberta's son at the hospital. Just now. 7/21 PM