I Found A Reason

I guess this is supposed to make me want to live a fuller life, make everyday count, etc. But those things are somewhat difficult when you wake up at 5 in the morning and you immediately burst into tears cos the one person that used to be the first to make you smile every year on your birthday is not there.

I used to get told 'tell the people in your life that you love them everyday'. My reaction to this was always *they know how I feel, I don't think I need to bother them with that*. I don't feel like that anymore.

Saturday afternoon I went to a surprise party (at my sister's place) for a friend whose going back home to Germany at the end of the month. The party lasted until the early hours of Sunday morning. I only got home the next afternoon for the big family Mother's Day lunch... and I did something that I rarely do. I went up to my mother and held her so tight I thought I would cry (I almost did, but that doesn't count). She was under the impression that it was me wishing her for Mother's Day, and even though, initially, that was the intention, it ended up meaning more than that.

In all honesty, I was not looking forward to today. A few months ago I was beyond excited. But that was only because I was presented with such an amazing distraction. Unfortuantely, through certain circumstances, I called things off. And that left me with the feeling of *oh crap! What'd I do?!*

Anyway, on the plus side, I have these amazing friends who seem to know exactly what to say at exactly the right moments, even though they sometimes don't know what's going on in my head.

In the end, the best gift I could get (realistically) is a gift I've always had... My friends.



In a time when you feel the most low; a smile, hug, or even a random 'hey, whatsup' from a friend is the best thing ever since.... M&Ms <3

credited pics DalaiHarma and
bleedingheartsclub *