My OperaT
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 12:06:24 AM
I'm in bed, writting a post!? It's not going to take long... I'm blogging in tumbrl now. Pretty much the same rubbish *shrug*
I'm so pony
Sunday, July 12, 2009 9:37:45 PM
My so called life and luck, are pathetic.
Let's say it at loud, so it hit me in the face for once, I'm in fuckn pain all the time, wishing to be with a guy that lives in other continent, and who I don't know and who I'm starting to suspect has like an harem of women chasing him, apparently I can be jealous. Yeah, I AM PONY, so what can I do? My life is ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like if I were in a video game my brother had, don't know the name, was fighting something, and when you won a fight the other would be like k.o. and a voice said, FINISH HER!
I'm at my lowest, I'm trying to fight, but something ain't right.
Another peculiarity is that, I'm starting to get attention from other guys I'm not interested in, wth? Everything is kinda silly and I'm tired and whatever, but every morning I wake up thinking of him, and he's the last person in my mind when I fall asleep. Sue me!
From limbo.
Let's say it at loud, so it hit me in the face for once, I'm in fuckn pain all the time, wishing to be with a guy that lives in other continent, and who I don't know and who I'm starting to suspect has like an harem of women chasing him, apparently I can be jealous. Yeah, I AM PONY, so what can I do? My life is ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like if I were in a video game my brother had, don't know the name, was fighting something, and when you won a fight the other would be like k.o. and a voice said, FINISH HER!
I'm at my lowest, I'm trying to fight, but something ain't right.
Another peculiarity is that, I'm starting to get attention from other guys I'm not interested in, wth? Everything is kinda silly and I'm tired and whatever, but every morning I wake up thinking of him, and he's the last person in my mind when I fall asleep. Sue me!
From limbo.
x
Sunday, July 5, 2009 4:51:13 PM
I went out last night after several month, and unsurprisingly, I didn't enjoy it very much, oh well. I had two drinks, and was chased by a creepy guy, so I came back home at 4. And being completely honest my mind where elsewhere, I been thinking lots about how to not be hurt by my obviously hopeless situation, I want to be his friend, since that's the only I can be, right? He's got many friends though so I won't be any special person to him although he secretly will for me. I really sorry not be able to stop bringing him into my posts but it's all I can do for the moment.
He's doing his thing, keeps being red, and well, I accept that, actually he's probably seeing somebody else or interested in other, a woman who lives in his mf country at the least. I couldn't blame him.
I wish I could do the same, honestly. But I cannot, so time will tell.
I really hope one day love and be loved in return, and not this messing around, if I love, he doesn't and vice-versa.(if you think this is pathetic check your soul out)
Whatever, empty is not an option for me.
I wish I could tell this out loud without sounding crazy, but...maybe I'm crazy.
x
He's doing his thing, keeps being red, and well, I accept that, actually he's probably seeing somebody else or interested in other, a woman who lives in his mf country at the least. I couldn't blame him.
I wish I could do the same, honestly. But I cannot, so time will tell.
I really hope one day love and be loved in return, and not this messing around, if I love, he doesn't and vice-versa.(if you think this is pathetic check your soul out)
Whatever, empty is not an option for me.
I wish I could tell this out loud without sounding crazy, but...maybe I'm crazy.
x
-
Monday, June 29, 2009 10:44:15 PM
I'm sure that if somebody would analyze my recent behavior, would say, I'm acting erratic, and that I change my mind very often.
Now If this could be objected by me, I'd say: No, specially to the second part/accusation. I should explain myself by admitting that I'm not the most secure of the persons.
But, in fact I consider myself pretty consistent in my believes and once I make my mind about an issue, it's not easy to persuade me. However on the process I keep my mind open, and evaluate the options. This can be done easily, unless feelings get involve in the equation.
Feelings are the most precious thing in my book, it's not an election I've made but a fact, a part of me, I suppose it can be say. This could be a key part to understand the way I rule.
Do I like it or not, many of my reflect actions are specifically focused on DO N0T LETTING GET HURT my feelings.
This, wonder how make me look like? Maybe selfish, and distant, and erratic, because well, because I feel completely naked and being chased by a bunch of paparazzi whose goal is shooting the worst pictures you can imagine, just for criticize me later. (And now, that's called paranoia, congrats!)
Obviously it's not necessary to say that I've been hurt, once, in the past. And that was enough for me not to want it again. Being heartbroken is the worst thing, it has the effects of an atomic bomb, in your spirit. I for nothing in this world want to feel that way again. I'd be rather alone than wasting my and the other person time, I can do it, it's like putting a part of you to hibernation.
I live in a bubble, occasionally I'd try to get out, but in a very cautious way, I wouldn't get emotional attach, until see that it was in a way safe (although I think safety, it's a wrong concept), blah, blah, blah...
Now, I'm totally and completely into a guy, who is marvelous, intelligent, he's profound, , he basically fascinates me, but, well I don't know, I'm scare of ask him things, and I'm ruining what starts such wonderfully, because ... oh well, all I've just said...
Sometimes I don't think he feels the same, I can somehow "intuir" that he likes me a little bit though,
And he never says it straight(he's very shy and reserved, I do understand that very well), that is a big mental turn on for me, to be honest, but also makes me doubt a lot. So... I don't know,(there's a highly risk of me wishing to loud and misreading the whole situation). I just think he's not interested at all and that he thinks I'm an idiot, however he's sweet with me, but I'm ridiculous in way too many aspects. I won't stop doing what I'm doing (not that is my hands anyway), it's just too anarchic, put me in a very unstable position however, no for a moment I regret what I feel. And I won't even If all this is not mutual.
Now If this could be objected by me, I'd say: No, specially to the second part/accusation. I should explain myself by admitting that I'm not the most secure of the persons.
But, in fact I consider myself pretty consistent in my believes and once I make my mind about an issue, it's not easy to persuade me. However on the process I keep my mind open, and evaluate the options. This can be done easily, unless feelings get involve in the equation.
Feelings are the most precious thing in my book, it's not an election I've made but a fact, a part of me, I suppose it can be say. This could be a key part to understand the way I rule.
Do I like it or not, many of my reflect actions are specifically focused on DO N0T LETTING GET HURT my feelings.
This, wonder how make me look like? Maybe selfish, and distant, and erratic, because well, because I feel completely naked and being chased by a bunch of paparazzi whose goal is shooting the worst pictures you can imagine, just for criticize me later. (And now, that's called paranoia, congrats!)
Obviously it's not necessary to say that I've been hurt, once, in the past. And that was enough for me not to want it again. Being heartbroken is the worst thing, it has the effects of an atomic bomb, in your spirit. I for nothing in this world want to feel that way again. I'd be rather alone than wasting my and the other person time, I can do it, it's like putting a part of you to hibernation.
I live in a bubble, occasionally I'd try to get out, but in a very cautious way, I wouldn't get emotional attach, until see that it was in a way safe (although I think safety, it's a wrong concept), blah, blah, blah...
Now, I'm totally and completely into a guy, who is marvelous, intelligent, he's profound, , he basically fascinates me, but, well I don't know, I'm scare of ask him things, and I'm ruining what starts such wonderfully, because ... oh well, all I've just said...
Sometimes I don't think he feels the same, I can somehow "intuir" that he likes me a little bit though,
And he never says it straight(he's very shy and reserved, I do understand that very well), that is a big mental turn on for me, to be honest, but also makes me doubt a lot. So... I don't know,(there's a highly risk of me wishing to loud and misreading the whole situation). I just think he's not interested at all and that he thinks I'm an idiot, however he's sweet with me, but I'm ridiculous in way too many aspects. I won't stop doing what I'm doing (not that is my hands anyway), it's just too anarchic, put me in a very unstable position however, no for a moment I regret what I feel. And I won't even If all this is not mutual.
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy...
Thursday, June 25, 2009 5:29:38 PM
I'm suspecting that when I really like something, I like it forever... Let it bleed is the best Stones album, period. I thought this same thing years ago when I hadn't listened, not even half of music I have now, and still think the same at this very moment...you don't find there evolution, simply because evolution is something else.
x
Bored rambler
x
Bored rambler
/
Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:51:29 PM
I hate myself for posting this, for loving it, and for being so stupid, oh no =(
Dreamy
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 5:05:54 PM
I had, last night, the best of dreams, second time he's in my "night" dreams, and this time he was not a modern merchant in a medieval festival.
I dare to say, it was extremely realistic, sometimes I think my subconscious feel pity for me, and then decides to make me gifts like this one. Do I have to say thank you?...to myself o_0
Oh in any case, mmm, want it for real now.
...
I dare to say, it was extremely realistic, sometimes I think my subconscious feel pity for me, and then decides to make me gifts like this one. Do I have to say thank you?...to myself o_0
Oh in any case, mmm, want it for real now.
...
Shall remain--.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 10:34:42 AM
Because, nobody knows me here, I think, I'm going to start blogging as part of a therapy, to release feelings, or thoughts I, for various reasons, won't be able to let go, in probably much more appropriate circumstances.
It's not going to be interesting, as I said, it's part of a therapy I'm conducting myself, set it as the last chance of getting life into a rail.
Shall be pieces of shambolic writing, oh well, English is not my first language which in some weird way, makes easier for me to say things I really need to.
On the other hand, have to admit, I'm quite reserved and distant, and I'm not really looking for any feedback, this might sound contradictory because this is set as a public blog, but I do have my reasons (it's like talking to a bunch of strangers, but without nerves, idk).
Apologize to whomever waste any time at all reading this.
Start from the beginning?, or simply straight to the point? Mhmm.
It's not going to be interesting, as I said, it's part of a therapy I'm conducting myself, set it as the last chance of getting life into a rail.
Shall be pieces of shambolic writing, oh well, English is not my first language which in some weird way, makes easier for me to say things I really need to.
On the other hand, have to admit, I'm quite reserved and distant, and I'm not really looking for any feedback, this might sound contradictory because this is set as a public blog, but I do have my reasons (it's like talking to a bunch of strangers, but without nerves, idk).
Apologize to whomever waste any time at all reading this.
Start from the beginning?, or simply straight to the point? Mhmm.
I quite only think about him...
Monday, June 22, 2009 12:48:08 PM
The one that has changed the meaning of all my favorite songs
ONE DAY
One day : it will happen
One day : it will all come true
One day : when you're ready
One day : when you're up to it
The atmosphere will get lighter
and two suns ready to shine just for YOU
I can feel it!
One day : it will happen
One day : it will all make sense
One day : you will blossom
One day : when you're ready
An aeroplane will curve gracefully
around the volcano with the eruption
that never lets you down
I can feel it!
And the beautifullest fireworks
are burning in the sky just for you
I can feel it!
One day : One day
^
AEROPLANE
I can not live
peacefully without you
for even a moment
I miss you terribly when you're away
He's away
this ain't right
I'm alone
I'm taking an aeroplane
across the world to
follow
my
heart!
How come
out of all the people in the world
only ONE
can make me complete?
One word
one word : on the phone makes me happy
one touch
but one touch : directly makes me ecstatic
He's away
this ain't right
I'm alone
I'm taking an aeroplane
across the world to
follow
my
heart!
^
COME TO ME
Come to me
I'll take care of you
protect you
calm, calm down
You're exhausted
come lay down
you don't have to explain
I understand
You know : that I adore you
you know : that I love you
so don't make me say it
it would burst the bubble
break the charm
J u m p o f f
your building is on fire
I'll catch you : I'll catch you
destroy all that is keeping you down
and then I'll nurse you : I'll nurse you
You know : that I adore you
you know : that I love you
so don't make me say it
it would burst the bubble
break the charm
xx
ONE DAY
One day : it will happen
One day : it will all come true
One day : when you're ready
One day : when you're up to it
The atmosphere will get lighter
and two suns ready to shine just for YOU
I can feel it!
One day : it will happen
One day : it will all make sense
One day : you will blossom
One day : when you're ready
An aeroplane will curve gracefully
around the volcano with the eruption
that never lets you down
I can feel it!
And the beautifullest fireworks
are burning in the sky just for you
I can feel it!
One day : One day
^
AEROPLANE
I can not live
peacefully without you
for even a moment
I miss you terribly when you're away
He's away
this ain't right
I'm alone
I'm taking an aeroplane
across the world to
follow
my
heart!
How come
out of all the people in the world
only ONE
can make me complete?
One word
one word : on the phone makes me happy
one touch
but one touch : directly makes me ecstatic
He's away
this ain't right
I'm alone
I'm taking an aeroplane
across the world to
follow
my
heart!
^
COME TO ME
Come to me
I'll take care of you
protect you
calm, calm down
You're exhausted
come lay down
you don't have to explain
I understand
You know : that I adore you
you know : that I love you
so don't make me say it
it would burst the bubble
break the charm
J u m p o f f
your building is on fire
I'll catch you : I'll catch you
destroy all that is keeping you down
and then I'll nurse you : I'll nurse you
You know : that I adore you
you know : that I love you
so don't make me say it
it would burst the bubble
break the charm
xx
romialepe
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