The Defining Element: The Rosser Experience

There is a group on Facebook called "I'm an American and Therefore I Drive an American Car" that I find sadly incorect.

Note that the link to the group above requires a Facebook account. If you do not have a Facebook account, the group info is posted below:

As American citizens, it is important to support the American economy by buying American automobiles. It bugs me to see so many people driving foreign cars when it's GM and Ford that put food on the dinner tables of so many Americans. Our American car companies need our support now more than ever. According to the Detroit Free Press, Michigan has finally stepped up to help Ford. It's time the rest of the country did and the rest of Americans went back to buying American cars instead of imports. The rest of the country is failing Detroit and contributing to Michigan's "one-state recession." If you have ever thought any of this, then this group is for you.

This group isn't forcing anyone to do anything. We simply hope to raise awareness of the fact that Americans should be supporting their own industries if we want to stay competitive with Asia. If we don't, the Asian tiger will overcome us in all of our lifetimes. Furthermore, we hope to dispel the myth that our domestic automobile manufactures don't produce the same quality cars as foreign car companies.

OK, well being apart from just being ignorant, most of the things in there are wrong. Here they are:

...GM and Ford that put food on the dinner tables of so many Americans.

False. While foreign car companies are based in other countries, the majority of their cars are manufactured in American plants. So GM and Ford hire no more Americans than Honda or BMW.

Our American car companies need our support now more than ever.

False. Huge companies never need support of individuals. That's just common sense.

We simply hope to raise awareness of the fact that Americans should be supporting their own industries if we want to stay competitive with Asia.

So how would giving all our business to the domestic companies create more competition? That's backwards. If we put all the stress on Ford, GM, and Daimler Chrysler, they will be forced to innovate and THEN we can be in competition with Asia.

...the myth that our domestic automobile manufactures don't produce the same quality cars as foreign car companies.

False. It is a proven fact that American cars are of poorer quality than most foreign companies.

I know that you are sick of driving everywhere and waiting in lines in crowded Wal Marts and Best Buys. Want to make your holiday shopping get done faster? Well, you can get all your Christmas gifts at one store: the grocery store.

Fill your family and friends full of delight and food this holiday. Here are some ideas (read: shopping list) for people on your list.

Girlfriend/Wife: A box of Hamburger Helper. You can be even more generous and include the ground beef, too!

Boyfriend/Husband: Ice cream cones. 12 pack of waffles cones will show him how much you are comfortable with his fat.

Mother: Eight pack of white Hanes panties. Yum!

Father: Value size napkins. Enough said.

Brother: Envelopes. They're great 'cause they're free (from the birthday card aisle.) Just don't take too many or the store might get mad. But fuck them, you're just trying to spread Christmas cheer! Take the whole fucking stack.

Sister: Bleach. Cost effective and quite versatile.

Nephew: Five bags of confectioner's sugar. You can put them in an old laptop box so he thinks he's getting that. You'll both crack up when he opens it and finds sugar. NOTE: Do not buy sugar if your nephew has ADD or something.

Niece: Vegetable oil. If she can't find a thousand things to do with that, then I'll reimburse you on the amount you paid for the oil.*

*Just kidding. There is no guarentee. Please don't e-mail me.

Grandparents: Some batteries. Try getting something cool like AAAA or 123 size batteries to surprise them. Additionally, you should splurge and get a good brand. You don't want to look like you're cheaping out, right?

Grandchildren: Bic lighters. Trust me, they'll love them!

Friends: A bag of To-Go fried chicken. Everybody likes chicken. Just don't get it too many weeks in advance. You wouldn't want to ruin their Christmas by giving them explosive diarrhea.

Other: Cans of tuna fish? Yeah.

Good luck and happy holidays!

Next time you need to ship anything, do not choose UPS. Pick anything for all I care. Everything is better than this group of braindead morons. DHL, FedEx, even USPS can do a better job!

Here's the story.

I ordered an Apple iBook from macofalltrades.com on Tuesday, December 11th. Mac Of All Trades shipped it out Wednesday. Everything's going good. The shipping is pretty expensive at $35, but I can deal. On Friday night, the iBook arrives at a UPS location 6 miles from my house. I expect to get it pretty fast on Monday, right? I could not have been more wrong.

Today is Monday. Truck never shows up. Keep in mind that UPS said it would be delivered today. Not only does the truck never show up, but the dumbass driver said that he attempted to deliver the iBook but I wasn't home. This is an outright lie, because I know for a fact I was home, waiting for the stupid truck at the time when the asshole supposedly tried to deliver the package! So I'm angry that not only do I not have my package, but also that a company that I trusted with a $450 laptop is lying to me.

I am now worried about this for the following reasons:

Situation A:
- The driver is a braindead buttwipe.
- He lied.
- My iBook is in the warehouse again and will be delivered tomorrow.

Situation B:
- The driver is a braindead buttwipe.
- He went to the wrong house because he doesn't know where the fuck my house is and he doesn't own a map.
- My iBook is in the warehouse again and will not be delivered tomorrow, or ever, and will be sent back to Florida.



Either way, I'm going to lay into the driver tomorrow. It's going to go something like this:
U= UPS
M= Me

U= Here'z yo packege d00d
M= Great, asshole.
U= *picks nose*
M= Hey, I have a question, "d00d". Why did you fucking lie about attempted delivery yesterday?
U= I didn't.
M= Attempted delivery at 3:12 PM. I was in my fucking house at 3:12 pm. You never showed up, asswipe. I hope you get fired and you starve. How hard is your job? You drive a stupid truck and tell people to sign. Are you that moronic and incompetant that you can't even do that right? UPS is one of the worst companies I've ever dealt with, and I can assure you I will never use you again. See ya, fuckhole. *slams door*


Then I plan to call UPS corporate and tell them exactly what I feel.

If you EVER have a choice, NEVER pick UPS unless you like dealing with lost packages and nitwit drivers.

UPDATE: It's now Tuesday. Still no delivery.
UPDATE: I finally just called them and told them to hold it so I could pick it up. Totally unacceptable.

Sorry, I just had to say something about this. I constantly hear the phrase, "Microsft Works is an oxymoron." Now, I am not a fanboy of either Microsoft or Apple, each has their downfalls but I like both. I have an iBook, Dell Dimension with XP, a Samsung i730 PDA phone with Windows Mobile 2003, and an iPhone. But when I hear people who have no knowledge of computers put down Microsoft because they hear other people saying it, I want to waterboard them. The fact is, you can't actively poke fun at a multi billion dollar enterprise when you have no knowledge in that field. People think they are geniouses on computers because they play Battleship on Yahoo Games and know how to change the screen saver. Haha, not really. People who are geniouses on computers know how to program in C++ and can develop professional web pages with high level HTML and BB code. So until you people know how a computer OS works and can create a better OS than Windows, I better not hear you say, "Microsoft Works is an oxymoron," anymore. Thanks for listening.

So if you see this vehicle driving down the road, you know it's me.

Oh yeah it's got a snowplow and elephant tusks on the front too.






Original photo taken from canadianautoreview.com which I then photoshopped.