My Campaign for Presidency
Saturday, 6. October 2007, 02:00:39
Every presidential candidate has a trademark slogan. "John Kerry '04. A stronger America!" or "George Bush '00. I'm an asshole!" So I thought it would be fun to make some of my own.
SLOGANS:
Vote for Ross. I'll throw Utah out of the Union.
Vote for Ross because I have a DeLorean and that's cool.
Vote for Ross. I'll abolish slavery.
Vote for Ross if you hate Portugal.
Vote for Ross if you like Friends. I'm the same guy.
Vote for Ross if you hate emos. They are a drain on society.
Vote for Ross. I'll make Florida one big gated community.
Vote for Ross if you like banging hot chicks.
Vote for Ross. I think I'm at least better than one other candidate.
Bob Dole is a fruit. I'm a ninja! Vote for Ross.
Vote for Ross or I'll call you at dinner every night!
Vote for Ross. I'm poor and I need the money!
Vote for Ross. I'm pretty fly for a white guy.
If you like frisbee, you'll love Ross as President!
Vote for Ross because my name is cooler than everybody else's.
Vote for Ross. I'll make the Internet illegal.
Vote for Ross. I support gay marriage and abortion. But not at the same time. That's messed up.
Vote for Ross if you live in the United States. That means you!
If you vote for Ross, I'm make the United States, Mexico, and Canda into one big country.
Vote for Ross. I'll replace local news channel with 24/7 Asian pornography.
Vote for Ross. I'll put a casino in every school.
Do not vote for Ross if you do not hate not liking the anti-Nazi movement.
Vote for Ross if you like Windows XP Home Edition. I hate Macs though.
Vote for Ross. Screw Republicans and Honda owners.
Vote for Ross if you don't like Bush. Hint: I'm not him. So I'm better.
Vote for Ross. I'll give everybody wheels instead of legs.
Vote for Ross if like donuts because I too like donuts.
Ross is a supporter of extreme downhill rock climbing races.
Vote for Ross if you are over 18.
Vote for Ross and get a free 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew.
Vote for Ross. I'll legalize hamburgers.
Vote for Ross. I'll adopt every highway in America. Except any highway in Mississippi. I wouldn't set foot in there.
Vote for Ross if you like Howard Hanson. If you don't know who that is, fuck you.
POSTERS:
Why I'd make a good President.
-I'll clean up the city.
-I'll start a national babysitting service.
-Really high taxes for emos, morons, Bob Saget, and fat people. Low taxes for everybody else.
-I like to live in the White House.
-I'll repave every street in the city.
-I hate the other city next to us.
If I am voted to Office, I will refuse the White House, as I like my Geodome in the mountains better.
PROMOTIONAL ITEMS:
*Vote for Ross condoms.
*Vote for Ross hamburgers.
*Vote for Ross fake IDs.
*Vote for Ross doctorate degrees.
*Vote for Ross lube.
*Vote for Ross Batmobiles.
Would you vote for me? I know I wouldn't.
Bush-finger image taken from greatdreams.com
SLOGANS:
Vote for Ross. I'll throw Utah out of the Union.
Vote for Ross because I have a DeLorean and that's cool.
Vote for Ross. I'll abolish slavery.
Vote for Ross if you hate Portugal.
Vote for Ross if you like Friends. I'm the same guy.
Vote for Ross if you hate emos. They are a drain on society.
Vote for Ross. I'll make Florida one big gated community.
Vote for Ross if you like banging hot chicks.
Vote for Ross. I think I'm at least better than one other candidate.
Bob Dole is a fruit. I'm a ninja! Vote for Ross.
Vote for Ross or I'll call you at dinner every night!
Vote for Ross. I'm poor and I need the money!
Vote for Ross. I'm pretty fly for a white guy.
If you like frisbee, you'll love Ross as President!
Vote for Ross because my name is cooler than everybody else's.
Vote for Ross. I'll make the Internet illegal.
Vote for Ross. I support gay marriage and abortion. But not at the same time. That's messed up.
Vote for Ross if you live in the United States. That means you!
If you vote for Ross, I'm make the United States, Mexico, and Canda into one big country.
Vote for Ross. I'll replace local news channel with 24/7 Asian pornography.
Vote for Ross. I'll put a casino in every school.
Do not vote for Ross if you do not hate not liking the anti-Nazi movement.
Vote for Ross if you like Windows XP Home Edition. I hate Macs though.
Vote for Ross. Screw Republicans and Honda owners.
Vote for Ross if you don't like Bush. Hint: I'm not him. So I'm better.
Vote for Ross. I'll give everybody wheels instead of legs.
Vote for Ross if like donuts because I too like donuts.
Ross is a supporter of extreme downhill rock climbing races.
Vote for Ross if you are over 18.
Vote for Ross and get a free 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew.
Vote for Ross. I'll legalize hamburgers.
Vote for Ross. I'll adopt every highway in America. Except any highway in Mississippi. I wouldn't set foot in there.
Vote for Ross if you like Howard Hanson. If you don't know who that is, fuck you.
POSTERS:
Why I'd make a good President.
-I'll clean up the city.
-I'll start a national babysitting service.
-Really high taxes for emos, morons, Bob Saget, and fat people. Low taxes for everybody else.
-I like to live in the White House.
-I'll repave every street in the city.
-I hate the other city next to us.
If I am voted to Office, I will refuse the White House, as I like my Geodome in the mountains better.
PROMOTIONAL ITEMS:
*Vote for Ross condoms.
*Vote for Ross hamburgers.
*Vote for Ross fake IDs.
*Vote for Ross doctorate degrees.
*Vote for Ross lube.
*Vote for Ross Batmobiles.
Would you vote for me? I know I wouldn't.
Bush-finger image taken from greatdreams.com
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