'Ol 'bout me...

I hate myself. I hate myself for lettin' him lie again, once more, in front of my face. He went to me, ask if we can drink, chill out. I said yes. For the first time we chilled out with no hang ups on his part, wlang problema na pinag uusapan. Everything was fine and what have you when the phone suddenly ringed. Twas my niece who answered the phone and said that 'twas #@@#. SIlence, i just bowed my head till i could. In my mind im so full of anger and madness. After the call everything turned different, i couldnt't talk, i could't even utter a word, knowing that when i opened my mouth its something different. After a few minutes i silently told him "go home". he asked why and all i did was to say it again and turned my back, he followed and confronted me whhy? there it began, i reminded him of my conditions. He said sorry and never it would happen again. But how could you trust when 'twas broken twice olready. Should i wait for another instance it would happen again? should i count on with his words?... if only i do have the enough resources, i'll fly out the soonest time possible. redeem myself away from here.