watta a fuckin' lyf...
Monday, 25. May 2009, 06:37:43
Sometimes it takes a great deal of courage to set someone free and try to assess what went wrong and what have you done right in the relationship. Im a very patient person as ol of my friends know, that most of the time that patience is already leaning towards "martyrdom" sad but true. I don't know why i always fall into a trap and literally finding it hard to getta hell outta it. And as what my pysch said im into "co-dependency" situation. Here are some facts about it.
Codependency is an unfortunate situation that a person can find themselves in within a relationship. Often partner 1 will have a weakness, of which makes them depend on partner 2. Partner 2 then goes on to make excuses for partner 1, helping them and otherwise subconsciously enabling that person to continue with their weakness. This is turn makes partner 2 dependant on partner 1 as well, because they feel better about being depended on, therefore encouraging it.
Often, codependency exists in an abusive relationship, although this does not have to mean physical abuse. It is more common among psychological abusive relationships. Partner 1 might have a drug addiction or financial troubles or a drinking problem that becomes their weakness. They depend on partner 2 to help them with money, or help them to buy drink / drugs. The codependent (partner 2) does this because they love and therefore feel sorry for their partner. They also fear that doing anything about it will change the relationship and they also crave the feeling of being needed. While the codependent will convince themselves that this is a win-win situation, it isn’t and will only result on them getting hurt and also becoming trapped.
It will often result in the loss of one’s own identity for the codependent. This does not mean Identity theft - just the fact that they will become a different person and become just as needy as the dependant partner. This need will be bred by fear and low self esteem. The only way they see fit to fix it is to feel needed by their partner and if that means helping them to do something that is not healthy or not right then they do it just to please them.
Codependency will always be accompanied with depression, sometimes clinical depression. The codependent will become so frustrated and upset over the situation and their feelings of helplessness that they will most always become depressed. They will only deal with the situation by blocking out feelings, trying to be a perfectionist, and being hyper-vigilant. They will however become distrusting and possibly ill because of the stress involved.
Do i fit in? =(
Codependency is an unfortunate situation that a person can find themselves in within a relationship. Often partner 1 will have a weakness, of which makes them depend on partner 2. Partner 2 then goes on to make excuses for partner 1, helping them and otherwise subconsciously enabling that person to continue with their weakness. This is turn makes partner 2 dependant on partner 1 as well, because they feel better about being depended on, therefore encouraging it.
Often, codependency exists in an abusive relationship, although this does not have to mean physical abuse. It is more common among psychological abusive relationships. Partner 1 might have a drug addiction or financial troubles or a drinking problem that becomes their weakness. They depend on partner 2 to help them with money, or help them to buy drink / drugs. The codependent (partner 2) does this because they love and therefore feel sorry for their partner. They also fear that doing anything about it will change the relationship and they also crave the feeling of being needed. While the codependent will convince themselves that this is a win-win situation, it isn’t and will only result on them getting hurt and also becoming trapped.
It will often result in the loss of one’s own identity for the codependent. This does not mean Identity theft - just the fact that they will become a different person and become just as needy as the dependant partner. This need will be bred by fear and low self esteem. The only way they see fit to fix it is to feel needed by their partner and if that means helping them to do something that is not healthy or not right then they do it just to please them.
Codependency will always be accompanied with depression, sometimes clinical depression. The codependent will become so frustrated and upset over the situation and their feelings of helplessness that they will most always become depressed. They will only deal with the situation by blocking out feelings, trying to be a perfectionist, and being hyper-vigilant. They will however become distrusting and possibly ill because of the stress involved.
Do i fit in? =(
WIDGETIZE