Fleeced and Sheared
Sunday, November 27, 2005 6:21:03 AM
In America there exists a hierarchy of haircutters.
1. your basic unpretentious "Barber" with the familiar red & white candy striped pole.
2. Mall stylist, like supercuts, get em in quick and clip them fa$ter.
3. The Upscale Salon stylist, make em wait and charge more for the importunity.
4. The Most High Exalted "Hair Sculpturist".
Is all this drawing to a point?
I went to a hair sculpturist once when I was a teenager, alright, it was a long time ago.
I was running for student body president so...
My mother made the appointment,(Her Idea) and drove me the the exclusive
cliff side studio overlooking a waterfall, this is great except the
waterfall was about a thousand feet
below his studio window, just about straight down.
to this day I think it was part of his evil plan to fleece the quaking acrophobics.
The first appointment all he did was look at my hair, look through my hair
and write in a note book, I can only Imagine what he wrote:
"Today I found another sucker, boy is he a live one and his mother already has the checkbook out,
I can probably stretch this whole scam out for 4 or 5 appointments before I do anything!
He appeared to be counting hairs per square inch, splitting hairs as it were.
My experience was different than this though, it was more like The Marquee de Sade
practicing some rare form of scalp massage torture, while looking wistfully at his very sharp scissors, almost licking his lips in antisipation of the eventual shearing.
We escaped, somehow, barely...
And I went to a BARBER.
I give the Barber all the credit for my 1 vote margin.