My OperaIELTS WRITING TASK 2 - EXAMPLES OF BAND 6 & BAND 8.5/9
Friday, March 2, 2012 11:03:12 PM
Hi everyone,
I hope you find the previous topic 'IELTS Writing task 2 - Examples of Band 5.0 and 6.0' useful.
In this note, I have provided 2 more examples of IELTS Writing task 2 which scored 6.0 and 8.5/9.0. I hope you will have more ideas of how to write IELTS writing task 2 successfully after reading these sample essays.
In the first example, there are several grammatical and lexical errors. This is why the essay scored 6.0
In the second example, the writer used a mixture of common and advanced grammar and vocabulary accurately. The ideas were well-organised and the essay is easy to understand --> Band 8.5/9.0
TRanslation:
Chào cả nhà,
Trong bài viết lần này, San đưa ra thêm hai ví dụ về Writing Task 2 được điểm 6.0 và 8.5/9.0 và hi vọng sẽ giúp mọi người biết làm thế nào để viết tốt trong phần thi viết thứ hai của IELTS.
Trong ví dụ đầu tiên, người viết mắc một số lỗi ngữ pháp, từ vựng và đánh vần--> Band 6.0
Trong ví dụ thứ hai, người viết kết hợp dùng ngữ pháp và từ vựng cơ bản lẫn phức tạp mà không mắc lỗi. Bài viết loogic và dễ hiều --> Band 8.5/9.0
Topic:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of
technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge and/or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Example 1 (band 6)
Advancement in technology has resulted in a significant change of ways, the people
interact with each other as these days cheap and easily options are available.
The current wide availability of cell phones and internet has resulted in a resistance
among people to physically meet and interact because people think that when they can
communicate with their relatives and friends without physically meeting there, so why not
interacting with them virtually. This has a significant bearing on the relationship people
make only because meeting personally actually give people a sense of satisfaction and
care. I know one of my neighbours, was complaining me about the same sort of
incident. There lives an old man who is living alone as his only son is doing a job in
different city. Several years before, his son was used to visit his father personally,
however, as he could communicate now more on internet, his physical visits had
reduced. The old men misses him a lot these days.
Ideally, the technology benefits should be enriched in such a way that it should not
negatively affects human’s lives. Unfortunately this doesn’t seems to be the case.
People focusing on saving money, is not giving true importance to the relationships. For
families/friends living in different countries, this is certainly a good deal but when your
relatives and friends are living within the same city/country, one should ensure that using
technology should not prevent tem from taking care of their families.
I was attending a seminar in which the topic was focused on “ impact of technology”.
The panel was discussing their knowledge that people complain them that now friends
and families only communicate when they think they have time because when someone
knows that he has options to communicate whenever he wants, then there is a tendency
to procrastinate.
The relationships and feelings are true assets of people, therefore, it is indispensible to
ensure that although one should take benefits from advancements in technology but
should not target their beloved ones from fulfilling their duty to care and give proper
attention.
Example 2 (band 9)
It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.
Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.
On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mix with their peers in the real world, and these ‘virtual’ relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.
In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.
Thanks for reading everyone
Enjoy your weekend !
Best regards,
San Adams xxx
Samples extracted from ielts-simon and bestieltsonline
I hope you find the previous topic 'IELTS Writing task 2 - Examples of Band 5.0 and 6.0' useful.
In this note, I have provided 2 more examples of IELTS Writing task 2 which scored 6.0 and 8.5/9.0. I hope you will have more ideas of how to write IELTS writing task 2 successfully after reading these sample essays.
In the first example, there are several grammatical and lexical errors. This is why the essay scored 6.0
In the second example, the writer used a mixture of common and advanced grammar and vocabulary accurately. The ideas were well-organised and the essay is easy to understand --> Band 8.5/9.0
TRanslation:
Chào cả nhà,
Trong bài viết lần này, San đưa ra thêm hai ví dụ về Writing Task 2 được điểm 6.0 và 8.5/9.0 và hi vọng sẽ giúp mọi người biết làm thế nào để viết tốt trong phần thi viết thứ hai của IELTS.
Trong ví dụ đầu tiên, người viết mắc một số lỗi ngữ pháp, từ vựng và đánh vần--> Band 6.0
Trong ví dụ thứ hai, người viết kết hợp dùng ngữ pháp và từ vựng cơ bản lẫn phức tạp mà không mắc lỗi. Bài viết loogic và dễ hiều --> Band 8.5/9.0
Topic:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of
technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge and/or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Example 1 (band 6)
Advancement in technology has resulted in a significant change of ways, the people
interact with each other as these days cheap and easily options are available.
The current wide availability of cell phones and internet has resulted in a resistance
among people to physically meet and interact because people think that when they can
communicate with their relatives and friends without physically meeting there, so why not
interacting with them virtually. This has a significant bearing on the relationship people
make only because meeting personally actually give people a sense of satisfaction and
care. I know one of my neighbours, was complaining me about the same sort of
incident. There lives an old man who is living alone as his only son is doing a job in
different city. Several years before, his son was used to visit his father personally,
however, as he could communicate now more on internet, his physical visits had
reduced. The old men misses him a lot these days.
Ideally, the technology benefits should be enriched in such a way that it should not
negatively affects human’s lives. Unfortunately this doesn’t seems to be the case.
People focusing on saving money, is not giving true importance to the relationships. For
families/friends living in different countries, this is certainly a good deal but when your
relatives and friends are living within the same city/country, one should ensure that using
technology should not prevent tem from taking care of their families.
I was attending a seminar in which the topic was focused on “ impact of technology”.
The panel was discussing their knowledge that people complain them that now friends
and families only communicate when they think they have time because when someone
knows that he has options to communicate whenever he wants, then there is a tendency
to procrastinate.
The relationships and feelings are true assets of people, therefore, it is indispensible to
ensure that although one should take benefits from advancements in technology but
should not target their beloved ones from fulfilling their duty to care and give proper
attention.
Example 2 (band 9)
It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.
Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.
On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mix with their peers in the real world, and these ‘virtual’ relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.
In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.
Thanks for reading everyone
Enjoy your weekend !
Best regards,
San Adams xxx
Samples extracted from ielts-simon and bestieltsonline
