During some lapse of sanity I promised in my wedding vows to make "moj muz" sarma on his birthday. But because sarma (Serbian cabbage rolls) need time to "age" I had to start a few days early. Oh joy.
First of all you need stinky pickled cabbage. If you are so inclined you could make it yourself in a huge garbage can in you backyard, though this is not recommended in bear country. Otherwise, just buy it in your local grocery store. And of course, can't forget onion. Serbs can never have enough onion.
Of course this is all very stinky and hard on the tear ducts. Swim goggles come in very handy sometimes.
Every Serb dish must include massive quantities of meat, one of which must be pork. Unless of course you are fasting because you're an Orthodox Serb during your Slava (Saint day) and the church says you can't eat meat because of that saint. But if your Slava is a meat eating saint then you just go ahead anyway. But if you break the rules and can't stand being without meat for a few days during your non meat eating Slava then you eat it anyway. Of course if you are a Muslim Serb then you would probably make your Sarma without pork. OH, it's all very complicated just like Serbian history. Probably some war was started because of sarma. I don't know. Let's just get back to the recipe shall we.
Next. Gin. Important ingredient for the chef.
Very important! BACON! The "Food of Gods" according to Dare. I had to buy this in a special Serbian grocery store. We actually found this store by accident last weekend. It was a beautiful day and we were walking downtown. Dare wanted to walk along the water but I said no we're walking down this street because I never get to walk down this street all the way. And what do we find? Not one but two grocery stores with Serbian foods. Serbian cookies, chocolates, kajmak (cheese), ajvar (red pepper paste...yuck),plum jam and even mineral water!
In the second store the owner was a Serbian woman from Sarajevo. She told me all about making sarma. I needed this kind of bacon and this kind of rice and to do it this way and not that way. So I told her I'd come back next week and buy it, and I did. You know, Dare eats this bacon raw! Of course, he says it isn't raw, but honestly, I can't get over my belief that it is a big hunk of raw lard. Anyway, you need a samurai sword to cut it.
So, you cook up the onion and meat and raw rice with some paprika, pepper and a little salt. Then spoon it onto the stinky cabbage. It's actually pretty simple.
Roll it up. Voila! Dare said it looked perfect.
Ta da! Put it in a pan with some water. And lay the raw bacon on top for that lovely smokey flavor. Then bake it for a long long time in a slow oven until your house smells like I don't know what.
Well, Dare knows what it smells like.
Lying in bed, he had a big smile on his face. And it wasn't what you dirty minded freaks are thinking. Lying in bed, smiling, he sighed, "It smells just like home".
And tomorrow...the eating of the sarma shall commence.
My Opera
