I'm trying

I had the unhappy task of picking up Lola's ashes. I wasn't sure how I'd react, never done anything like this before, having always buried my little friends. And now I am faced with what to do with this little urn. Well, I took a picture of it beside my Lola angel, but afterwards I put it in a cupboard. I guess I will scatter them somewhere later. I have an idea but I have to ask Spooksis first.

Can't say I'm a sentimental person but I had a hard time reading this little card that was enclosed with the remains. It was very kind of the crematorium to enclose it, but I find it a little strange. If I meet Lola's soul again it will be in another lifetime, and we will look at eachother and say, "Who are you anyway?" It happened once that I know of.

Rainbow Bridge

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone, that pet goes to Rinbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends o they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group , flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.




Happier posts to come...

What an amazing day. Full of highs and lows. Many cliches. Funny how a tragedy brings people closer together. Funny how an 8 pound ball of fur can get people to realize how precious life is. My Lola. She was so full of life and love. I never knew how attached other people were to her.

My friend Shelley called tonight. We talked for almost three hours. She remembers coming over for my birthday; we were having a girls' night out! Well, as we were getting ready to go out, someone called to wish me happy birthday, and while I was talking on the phone, Lola was right there beside me. Afterwards, one of my friends said, "That was really freaky. That cat knows you. She was listening to every word of your conversation." It's true. Anyway, Shelley and I got drunk on the phone together tonight! She thinks I should get a dog! NOT! (Her dog is smaller than my cat was!)

Another friend emailed me yesterday. When he got in his vehicle, a morning dove lit on his windshield. It stopped and stared right at him. He told me he though it was Lola's soul saying goodbye. It doesn't surprise me. It surprised me he realized this though.

My spooksis phoned too. Well, she knows about Lola. I think she knows more than anyone but me how special she was. Those silk pillowcases you bought in Shanghai were for Lola weren't they? It's been good to talk to people about it, they have gone through similiar things and have reassured me that I did the right thing.

And I met up with two friends today. One, a dog person, whose dog is 15 and old and feeble. She knows this attachment between human and pet companion. Another friend is just as much of a cat lady as me. She has an amazing Maine Coon cat, they are constant companions as well.

I feel so blessed that everyone who has talked with me, emailed me, sent messages on my blog, really knows how it feels to lose a furry companion. I feel so lucky that people even take the time to tell me that they care. Thank you so much. Such a blessing. Not expected

There are times when I look around and expect that little "prrrmeeow", "let me out", "let me in", "FEED ME!", ...sigh. Fifteen years she's been right by my side. This is difficult to accept. Where are you now little Lola?

The sun shines all the time for you now Lola.

Lola Felina - April 1, 1994 - May 16, 2009

This is the worst day of my life.

I took Lola to the vet. She has a tumor on her intestine. She is in liver failure because she hasn't eaten much the past two days. He says it has been growing for 2 months, which makes sense since she wouldn't eat 2 months ago. I started giving her wet food and she perked up. Anyway, the vet gave her some drugs for pain and to stimulate her appetite. That has worked as she just ate a huge amount. She is very dehydrated too and they gave her some fluids, more tomorrow as well. And he gave me the number of an emergency clinic in case things get worse. In any case, he doesn't believe she will last much longer. He says there is nothing I could've done to prevent this, and it's not curable.

It's a holiday weekend here. Not a good holiday now.