Sunday, 20. September 2009, 18:42:12
Have you ever wanted to change yourself, move away and create a new identity. Have you accomplished this?
Today on
DNTO (Definitely Not the Opera) Sook Yin Lee spoke with a few people who had accomplished this, created new lives for themselves. But the most interesting conversation was with writer Peggy Orenstein about
"Growing up on Facebook". Before the Facebook and other social networking sites young adults moved away from home and from their high school friends. They went to college, did crazy things and found new friends and new lives. But now kids leave the nest and keep in touch with their pals on social networking sites. They even post the crazy things (pictures too) they do for all the world to see. Sometimes they create new identities for all to see. I don't know, I'm kind of glad I don't have any photos of my orange hair and baggy red plaid pants let alone some of the silliness encountered in art school. I don't regret any of it but I'm glad there is no permanent record of my embarrassing situations and young adult angst. Isn't that why kids move away from home, so they can find out who they really are away from people who think they know who they are? I don't keep in touch with anyone from highschool and I don't feel sad about that at all.
Another thing talked about on the show was this fear of loneliness we all have. Facebook takes that all away. When going through a tough time instead of learning to be introspective all you have to do is post your feelings and not feel lonely. But does it really help? Do you grow from that experience? Moving away from home can be terrifying. The homesickness felt is a kind of culture shock. When a mother bear knows her cubs are ready to be on their own she kicks them out, runs them up a tree and leaves. Not saying that we need to be so harsh. Just saying that a little isolation is vital for personal growth.
When I first moved to Vancouver in my twenties I was so miserable and lonely! I made new friends, fell in love, but I was still lonely. I remember writing 20 page letters to one of my good friends. After a few years I then moved to Montreal. At first it was really scary but then I found that because no one really knew me there, I felt I could be myself. Again I wrote 20 page letters to one of my friends. (I wonder if he kept them?) Though it was cathartic I am so glad that only he read my personal thoughts. And then I moved back home and again I felt lost and lonely. A reverse culture shock. I had grown and changed and the people I knew had also changed. I found it difficult to relate to them. But, then I had an opportunity to work in China and decided to go. But really that was the best move I ever made. Absolutely no one knew me there! I was free! Not stuck in that role of shy girl, I was forced to be the gregarious foreign teacher willing to sing karaoke at the drop of a hat.
And now I'm back home again and now I think I know who I really am. Though sometimes I'm alone, I'm not lonely. I can't imagine how this all could of happened if I had people following my every move. Mistakes happen. Life happens. Change is enivitable. Yes you can change yourself, but it's a lot easier away from people who know you.
When I was younger I always felt I was someone different at home, someone else with my friends and lord who knows who at work. Now this person is one and the same. I don't know if I could've done this under the watchful eye of the internet. Sometimes I think I should divulge more personal things on my blog, but really, I'm happy that most of my life remains private. There are few here that really know me, and that's just fine!
****I'm not criticizing people for being on Facebook! Just wondering about the effects of internet networking on the growth of young people****
WIDGETIZE