Wednesday, September 12, 2012 6:47:53 PM
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman) Hahahahaha.........
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield) LOL.......
Monday, May 7, 2012 5:53:05 PM
1) Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
2) Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
3) Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
4) Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
5) Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
6) Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sunday, May 6, 2012 5:18:22 PM
How Logical is the English Language?
The market garden was designed to produce produce.
The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
I did not object to the object.
Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital