Saysame (Says-a-me)

’09 June 20 I’ve been busy working on editing my third book and last night I finished the core edit, now I need to work on the preface, introduction, conclusion and about the author and the table of contents and other things to get it ready for a pre-publish PDF format. I plan to have it ready for download by July 01.

JR

June 18 1:56 a.m. I just woke up. I don’t know if this was a dream, a past life or if I was remembering a TV episode of the Outer Limits. I was on a space ship and had been in a deep cryogenic sleep, one that lasted 35 years. I went on this mission in my youth and now I was awakened in near old age. The ship was hot, so I remained nude as I had been in my chamber. I don’t know how long I was out of my chamber when I was instructed by computer voice command to awaken one female of the remaining 35 travelers, one that I thought would be compatible, one that in my youth would be one that I could have a relationship with. I thought, “Yeah right, now after 35 years and my gray hair and aged body I’m to rekindle my youth.”
I chose the one I was attracted to and felt she was attracted to me and revived her from her sleep. I told her what was happening and why I had awakened her. There was a sense of urgency to our situation as we preformed our ship duties but that didn’t diminish our urge to make up for lost time. Not only was she compatible, but we had sex for the entire week before we needed a rest. I guess 35 years of sexual energy needed to be released. Part of our frolicking foreplay was her asking “can you” and me replying, “I’m able” or her asking “are you able” and me saying, “yes I can.”

We still had some time to go before we reached our destination, planet Earth and when we did our checks we realized that what the computer was saying was correct, that we could not revive the 34 travelers, in fact, we were in doubt that we could make it with the remaining air supply we had. Slowly we began to draw in the air from non essential areas and seal them off. We thought of ways we could save our comrades, but there was nothing we could do as there was only so much air left. We waited, unsure of what to do and days later, during one of our sexual episodes, we didn’t notice that the rest of the crew was automatically being revived by the master computer. We then realized that we had suspended re-vitalization but had failed to turn the fail safe off.

We were now in a perilous situation as precious oxygen was being pumped into each cylinder. The crew had not yet been revived, and in a panic we shut down life support for the remaining 34 travelers, now realizing that we were also doomed as there wasn’t enough air left for the two of us to reach Earth. We couldn’t be put back into suspended life support because we needed to physically adjust some controls and we also needed to transfer to the landing module in order to land on Earth.

Landing was still many days off and it was then that I realized that there was air in the landing module, enough for 36 people for 4 hours, and maybe just enough for the two of us to last until we landed on Earth. But I also calculated that we needed to stay in the Mother ship until the air was completely gone and then transfer to the Landing module. We waited as long as we dared before we transferred to the Lander and then sealed ourselves off from the Mother ship. We then waited as hours slipped into days, waiting for the right time to undock and prepare our journey to our new home. Days later the computer activated the landing module and we were on our way.

We landed safely on Earth, the first humans in the New World. The dream gets foggy here but I do remember having two sons Can and Able named after our sexual play on words. Our names were Adam and Eve. That was when I woke up.

JR

June 14 6:41 a.m. I was thinking of food, Body and health and how in the R.U.O.W. books God talks about how others are living by feeding off another’s light instead of asking God for light from him. Light is life and over powering another to take their light is done in two ways, either by controlling and manipulating them or by killing them to consume their essence, like what we with animals and plants.
I stopped writing as I’m afraid of where this is going. I’m afraid that I need God , that I need his light to live and if I don’t get his light, then I’ll be trapped in having to continue to overpower and kill other forms of consciousness in order to live. But, in the process I’ll also be overpowered and whatever light I have stolen from others will be taken away form me and my Body will get disease, age and die.

So how do I do this? How do I ask God for Light? Do I just ask? But if my intent is dent, if there are hidden denials, conditions and expectations that I am not aware of then my asking is really a demand and is not loving intent and God is not going to obey me anymore than he is going to obey Lucifer’s commands no matter how “nicely” I ask.

JR

When faced with our issues, people think that if the do the opposite of what they were doing that they will have solved and healed their issue or problem. If they we in an abusive relationship they believe that the solution is to leave. If they are alcoholics, then they need to stop drinking. If they are smokers, then they need to give up cigarettes. If they are over eaters, then they need to go on a diet, and the list goes on and on.

What people fail to realize is that while they are on the right track in their thinking in that they need to do the opposite of what they have been doing, they missed the mark in that thought is only a part-truth and is NOT the solution. They have to go deeper and not just look at, and address the symptoms, but to find and address the cause. Using the smoker as an example, doing the opposite is not about quitting smoking, it’s about looking for the cause as to why they were addicted to the habit of smoking and that is doing the opposite of what they have been doing. They are using cigarettes as a means to cover up and deny the feelings and emotions that they don’t want to feel. If they were to simply stop without addressing the underlying cause, they would just find another habit or way to deny and avoid feeling what they are.

JR

A friend of mine wrote me with bit of witty irony..


Psychiatrist irony...

Asking your shrink to declare you not mentally ill


is asking them to put themselves out of business.



Now ain’t that the truth....

“Food for thought”

JR

Every time you deny expressing your real anger and rage when you feel that another is being unloving toward you, you are creating denied rage that will be expressed later in an unloving manner. When you stop your real loving rage from moving, it has no where to go and so it has to reverse itself (reverse it’s polarity) and in the process it now becomes denied or unloving rage. This denied rage then sits and waits for the next opportunity to pounce on anyone or anything that has any similarity to whatever issues denied it from being expressed. Not only that, it now becomes a “collective” denied anger and rage that joins forces with the other parts of your anger and rage that you denied, and so when one is triggered, they are all triggered. That is why the strong silent person that seems calm and collected, (in denial) is the type of person that can become a raging beast if their denied rage is activated and set free. You know that you are in denied rage when you’re feeling angry and ticked off, and you just want to give another person a blast, and a piece of your mind.

When I was in my mid-twenties, and up to very recently, I had a lot of denied rage and I knew that if I was provoked into a physical confrontation, that I would loose it. When being provoked, I would tell the other person that I didn’t want to fight them, but if they laid a hand on me, that I would take that as an attempt to hurt and kill me, and that I would defend myself to the death. I told them that if they were not prepared to die, then they should walk away and leave me alone. I was serious and they knew it, and they left calling me crazy, can’t take a joke, yadda, yadda, yadda.

In my second ebook, “Three levels of healing,” http://shenreed.com/ebook2.html the third level shares my experience when I am no longer triggered into my denied rage, but allow my real anger and rage to express itself in the moment it is felt. It’s a totally different feeling and experience.

JR

’09 May 31 4:03 am. I awoke hearing the words; “We are bridled and governed by the laws of society that dictate we should follow social order. Free thinkers and those that no not follow are heretics, unholy ones from another world and reality that must be put to death so that their tyranny and blasphemy end, and they do not corrupt the rest of the law abiding and God fearing men and women in society. “

I also saw clergy, dressed in red with tall pointy caps in a group. A spokesman came forward to make an announcement before I was going to be executed for heresy. I feel that I was going to die in an Iron Maiden and then buried in it so that I and my corrupt Soul would never escape to gain walk this Earth to disturb social law and order.

As I wrote that in my journal, I smiled and said, “Well I’m back!”

Insanity – I feel I went insane at being buried alive. I feel that after I was put in the Iron Maiden, that it was going to be in a cave or cavern that was then going to be sealed off. I was to die a slow and painful death. It was hell and it drove my mind mad, insane to feel the pain and agony my body was enduring and not being able to end the pain and suffering. Not the pain in the body, but in the mind that still was present, conscious and aware that it was trapped, alive and unable to die until the infection caused by the Iron Maiden, and the slow starvation took its toll on the body.

I was impaled in the Iron Maiden in such a way that there was next to no physical movement without causing intolerable pain to the other parts of my body. While my hands and feet were not impaled, I couldn’t move them without causing pain to the muscles in my arms and legs that were impaled. The spikes were designed to pin and hold the body in an almost immoveable position, and any movement back and forth or to the side only caused the trident spikes to impale themselves deeper causing more pain and suffering. The spikes were in the design of a trident so that they would only pierce the body so far, and so that they would also inflict three times the pain. There were also hooks or barbs on the end, so that pushing in caused pain and pulling out caused pain. It was designed to inflict the most pain and suffering imaginable, and that it did.

There were also some insects placed in the Iron maiden to ensure that the Body was disturbed, and I could constantly feel them crawling and biting me. Besides the physical pain, these things crawling and biting were another form of torture that drove my Mind mad. My mind wanted to swat and kill them but any movement only caused more pin by the tridents. It was forced to endure the constant pain and suffering when all it wanted to slumber, to escape from this prison that was also in total darkness.

There was an air hole and I could feel and smell the odd breath of fresh air that added to the torture. It was also impossible to call out without causing pain as my lower jaw was held fast and my teeth were in a permanent clench. My throat also had a collar on it that was used to position my body in the Iron Maiden and was tight so that even swallowing whatever spit I had was difficult.

It took me almost 10 days to die. I know that my Will and Body had to suffer for another three days but there was nothing that I could do. While I don’t know what they go through without my Spirit (Mind) presence, I do know what it feels like in another sense by the ordeal I experienced in the Iron Maiden. That was the one time and the only time that I recall that my Spirit was forced to endure almost as much as my Will and Body endure each time that Spirit leaves the Body, when life is no longer possible or desirable.

The year was 1358 or 1385, and I feel it took place somewhere in the area of the France and Italian border. There is a stone house that still contains my papers, manuscripts and apparatus’ I invented and used that led to my death.

JR

'09 June 07 edit 10 years to die.... to 10 days to die.... Thanks Rick... Oh, and yes, it was a past life.

A picture says a thousand words

I took this picture a few weeks ago of a van down the street.

Talk about a reflection in reversal to your judgments.
JR

‘09 May 26 Besides the feelings and emotions of the Will and the feeling and sensations of our Body, there is another aspect of emotion that needs to be identified and dealt with. This emotion is both Spirit and Will polarity oriented, but with a twist in that it is also reversed polarity. That emotion is denied rage. When this reversed polarity denied rage attacks first, it is of Spirit polarity and when it re-acts and attacks in revenge to being attacked, it is of Will polarity. While they are coming from opposite polarities, what makes them both unloving is that denial is present, thus making them the reversal of love.

This denied rage is controlling and manipulating and is a master at disguises. Not only has it associated itself with the Mind in controlling the rest of our being, it is also in control of the Mind. The prime directive of this rage is to be lord and master, to be the winner, successful, to be in control and in a position of power and to have others respect and fear it. It reaches its goal or objective by saying and doing whatever it takes, and after accomplishing its agenda, there comes a feeling of satisfaction that is hard to describe as it really isn’t an emotion per-say, but is more of the smug feeling of self-righteous pride and gloating, and one-upmanship in having successfully accomplished its mission. It’s like winning at a sports game and having defeated your opponent or the feeling one gets when you are the centre of attention, but in a good way. It’s like a prison guard that is satisfied and content, when all the prisoners obey his commands without question or hesitation. It’s like a parent that prides itself at having raised “good” and successful children or a husband that feels confident that he dominates and controls his house, wife and children. The feeling when a job is done to your satisfaction.

This denied rage can be violently forceful or subtly passive aggressive, using kind and so-called loving presentation to persuade others to follow its hidden agenda. It is that denied rage that is controlling and manipulating that has rules and condition for everyone and everything in its reality, except itself, and it is that rage that is presently in control of our reality. Now this denied rage is common to all consciousness and is not limited to humanity, but can also be found in plants and animals. This rage and denied rage is commonly referred to as instinct, the heartless statement referring to the survival of the fittest, where only the strong (those that overpower another) survive. Rage and denied rage is what is maintaining the “food chain” where death is looked on as a part of life. Death is not a part of life; it is the absence of life.

While denied rage is present in all people it is the Will polarity people, those that have feelings and emotions that are confused and feel trapped by this rage that says it is love and loving but yet doesn’t “feel” like love or loving. Spirit polarity people that have little or no Will are unable to “feel” and so all that they go on is the mental understanding of what they are experiencing in their Body and whether it is satisfactory to their agenda, and if it gives them physical pleasure. While I say the Will polarity is trapped and confused by denied rage, the only reason they are is because they are in denial and they falsely believe that expression of their feelings and emotions, especially rage is unloving.

Denied rage is controlled by imprints, programs, beliefs and judgments and it is this hate that doesn’t want to give up its position of power and control over others and the self (Mind, Will, Body and Heart). It not only wants to keep what it has, it also wants to expand its domain. Bigger, better, faster, more is what drives the fire of this rage as it consumes, dries up and shrivels the life out of all it touches and then moves on. It is especially drawn to the magnetic Will polarity and any movement of feelings and emotions are attacked and then it feeds on the denied feelings and emotions. The fires of this denied rage are concealed by denied hatred for others or denied self-hatred and hatred is what the Will polarity (empath) is vibrating to that it thinks is love. Denied rage imprinted the Mind and Will and the results of denial are manifested in the form (Body) of disease, illness, dying and death.

JR

‘09 May 20 There is mass confusion and misinformation about dying and death. When a person has died, while Spirit and Heart have left the Body, the Soul or Will is still in the Body and slowly, when it realizes that life is hopeless without Spirit and Heart presence, does she slowly withdraw from the Body. Soul or Will first withdraws from the limbs and then the internal organs. As the Will withdraws from the various parts of the Body, the Body begins the process of retuning to the elements from which it formed. During this dying process, both the Will and Body have conscious awareness of what is going on, they just have lost the ability to express it or understand it without Spirit (Mind) presence. The Will feels heartbreak, terror, anger and rage as well as the Bodies physical pain, but without Sprit presence to animate the Body, the Body can’t move to express what it or the Will is feeling.

It is not the Body that smells of death, but the reversed polarity unloving light energy of denial that was trapped in the Body, and that the Body was holding, that smells as it is being released. It is the smell of Lucifer, for those that have smelt his presence. Once the Will has released all its attachments to the Body, usually three days after Spirit has left, all parts of the Body begin to return to the natural elements from which they were formed.

The medical community does not transplant DEAD organs; they transplant living organs that still have Will essence in them. The only reason that the organs are useful is because they are still alive to a limited degree. A person being brain dead means that Spirit and Heart have left the body as Spirit and Heart are needed to keep the body alive. Artificial life support does just that, it keeps the Body functions artificially alive so that the Will is forced to remain in the Body and the organs can be kept alive longer and harvested when needed to replace a diseased or damaged organ in another person. While in this state, both the Will and Body are conscious and aware of what is happening. That’s why some organ recipients have the conscious awareness and memories of their donors.

JR
PS Sorry about the mix up but I ws tired and it was late when i was putting up these paost and I cut and pasted duplicate posts.

In sacrificing yourself to a person, place or thing, be it out a sense of duty, honor, responsibility, pride, righteousness, etc., you may think that you are being loving, but what you fail to recognize is that by sacrificing yourself, you are giving your power away to what is not love, but hate, as love doesn’t demand or ask for self-sacrifice. Your so-called act of love in sacrificing yourself, is nothing more than self-hatred. You believe you have self-love when you surround yourself with people, places and things that make you happy. You acquire “consume” people, places and things in the false hope that one of them will bring you everlasting happiness and joy. While they bring you temporary happiness, it never lasts and soon you are looking for something new and better. The commercial term “consumer” is a good description of how we go though life.

JR

’09 May 01 6:40 am A big issue we have is with confrontation and trying to avoid it. While on the surface all conflict appears to be one and the same, there are in fact two entirely different forms and each are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. One form of conflict arises from the Spirit polarity people that loss of control and that others are not following or doing what is aligned with their “hidden” agenda. And the other end of the spectrum are the Will polarity people that feel powerless and are afraid they are going to do or say something wrong that will create conflict as saying or doing anything in opposition creates conflict. The Will polarity people are also afraid to express themselves as they feel their feelings and emotions are wrong and are deemed to be the problem and cause of the conflict. Spirit polarity people are the ones in control while the Will polarity people are being controlled.

But, there is always the proverbial but, in that a Will polarity person in denial is also in control and seeking to control self or others. To confuse things even more, Spirit polarity people can “act” the part of not having any power or control in their lives, playing the “oh poor me” syndrome, but… again another but, this “oh poor me” syndrome is also played out with a Will polarity person that is trapped and going in circles because of their denials and fear of confrontation.

The more you get into ending your denials, the more you begin see how twisted and convoluted this whole duality reality really is. Trying to figure out who is who, and what is what, and trying to define and change the system is pointless and impossible as the rules keep changing to suit their denied hidden agendas. There is however one way to end the cycle of conflict without trying to change the system, as changing the system would still involve denial and power and control issues. The way to end the cycle of conflict is to step off of the not-so-merry-go-round of the old system reality and into a new reality

They key to removing your self from the old system and cycle is by clearing the air and challenging what is being said or done. To do that you need be real and express what you are really feeling in the moment you feel you are being attacked and controlled by another and that includes, man, woman, child, elderly cripple, animal, in fact, anyone or anything that is attacking you must be challenged. It doesn’t mater if they are Spirit polarity or Will polarity in denial as both are unloving and controlling. Challenging them and being forthright will expose their true intent and will empower you. Not that you will now have power and control over them, but that you have ended your denials of self by expressing yourself and in so doing, you are not accepting their unloving energy that they are using to control you. Expressing your truth in the moment is the self-love that empowers you and ends the conflict and battle.
JR

’09 April 25 Saturday 12:30 pm: When I was at work on Friday night I got the strongest feeling that I didn’t want t to work anymore, I mean it was a feeling like I have never had before in that I didn’t care about anything, the job, money, responsibility, future, nothing mattered and I felt good about it.

I felt that I no longer wanted to force myself to do what I really don’t want to do to live. Working is not fun; I mean I’m not opposed to doing something physical, just not for the same reasons that I’ve been doing it all my life. I had to work as a child, do chores, look after siblings, go to school, then later get a job, earn money and the list goes on and on. Always doing things I didn’t want to do so that in EXCHANGE…. I’d get money that I could then EXCAHNGE to get and do what I really wanted to do.

Humm? I feel it’s time to cut out the “middle man” the money EXCHANGERS…… LOL I’m laughing as that is exactly what is beginning to happen now with the financial crisis. The money lenders (banks and institutions) are about to loose their power and control and with that will come a BIG reality check for everyone when money is really seen for what it is… worthless and useless. The only value it has is the value and worth we give it by giving up part of our essence in exchange for it. It’s another form of self sacrifice and attachment and one that is so ingrained in our social beliefs and mentality that we feel it’s a part of life and that we can’t exist without it. If it’s not money, then it’s the exchange belief that we have bought into, in having to do something to get something in order to live.

Today is my last day at work.
JR