Saysame (Says-a-me)

Fake Lottery Ticket


Ending denials and exposing true colors
Comments to follow...Adam Ray TV

Comments '09 Oct 24 Although the intro to the video shows the Adam Ray TV ad I don’t feel it is one of the skits put on my Adam Ray. I viewed some of his other videos listed on his website and this one doesn’t fall into the same amateurish script or acting that is evident in his other videos. I feel that this was a real home video taken at his birthday party and that his real character and denials were caught in the prank. Being a so-called comedian and a joker, what better way to “cover up” being exposed as the fake he is, then to submit the video to AFV, along with advertising to his website and his other videos, making one think that it was all staged... and in the process, promote himself.

Forgiveness is yet another form of self-sacrifice if the issue has not been truly healed and you are forcing yourself to forgive another, so that you can put the issue behind you, and move on with your life. When you get to the part of your healing journey where you want to forgive another, you need to look beneath the denials and guilt to find that it’s not about forgiving the other person, but about taking responsinbilty for your denials and re-actions and forgiving yourself for the choices you made. When you can forgive yourself, and then make the chocie to end your denials, you will also see that the other person that caused what you consider harm, was actually reflecting your own denials to help you heal your emotions and issues. While you may consider people that don’t harm, or activate you, your friends, it is your enemy that is your real friend, as they are helping you heal your issues. Those who you call friends would not challenge or activate you by saying or doing things they know would offend you as then, you would no longer consider them friends and you would abandon them. So to be a friend, they need to deny being real, and be what you want them to be and that is another form of self-sacrifice.

When you have truly healed your issues, there is no longer any need for forgiveness, and instead the denial and guilt based need to forgive another will be replaced with genuine gratitude and love. I mean love, not the pretence and phony expression of love that people put on to show others, I mean real heartfelt love. Now it may be a friend that finally allows themselves to activate you, or it could be a stranger, and both can even go so far as to imply that you are going to be physically harmed if that is what is needed to move you off your denial based point-of-view. This can also take the form of what would be called an accident or an act of God where you are actually physically harmed.

JR

’09 Jan 12 For the past few days I’ve been involved in chats, e-mails and in postings in the RUOW tribe, and what has been the common theme is that while people say that they want to end their denials and heal their issues, they are unaware that they are in denial of being in denial. And while they may get insights and understandings, without putting those insights and understandings into practice, they are in denial, and then they wonder why the same or similar issues come up. Even when the unseen role of denial is exposed, it’s still denied and some feel that healing is impossible, while others are angry at having their hidden denials exposed.

I’m in the process of writing my second book so I’m using these experiences to go back to my journey to see how I figured it out and I keep getting “intent” and “courage.” Intent to heal and the courage to do it and put it into practice.

I’m not saying that my personal way and experiences is the only way, but if a persons prime intent is to end denials and to heal ones issues, then there is only “one way” that works as any denial, however subtle, negates the intent. While there is only one way to end denial, each person will have to face their individual denials and healing experiences so that makes each journey different, yet all are moving in the same direction.

While there are many paths and routes to the top of the mountain, the one thing that is common for all is the view from the top. You will never reach your goal, if you do not climb, and climbing will take intent and effort as this journey is all about YOU….... Each journey building on the last and so onward and upward we go, and as we do, we heal and empower ourselves and look back at our journey with gratitude and confidence saying, “Been there done that,” and look forward, with excitement, to the new challenges and opportunities that the next mountain will bring us.

JR

’08 July 17 There’s a tricky part in manifesting what we desire in that it’s not what we say we want that’s important, it’s what we don’t say and don’t want, (what’s being held in denial) that is really important as that’s what’s keeping us from manifesting what we desire. Another thing is expectation, that of wanting something pleasurable that relates to past experiences, or not wanting something that was not pleasurable that also relates to the past experience. Expectations projected into the future based on re-living a past moment to which we have an attachment, or based on denials. No wonder it doesn’t work!


Wow! It feels almost impossible to manifest what you desire with all the unseen roles of denial and expectations that are being played out to work against you. Until we address all the issues that we are denying, nothing iws going to manifest in eth way that we want it, or if it does, it wouldn’t last long.

Release your expectations!
Take a risk!
Expect the unexpected!

JR

’08 March 09 The words acceptance and rejection keep coming up so I’m going to write what they mean to me in this moment. Acceptance for me means accepting everyone as they are, that is, accepting their essence, their being and that also includes their right to their beliefs and point-of-view. While I have acceptance for the person, I don’t have to accept their denials, although I accept their right to be in denial as that is their choice. The same goes for their beliefs, while I accept the person, I don’t have to accept their beliefs as my beliefs, unless I feel comfortable with them in the moment.

I don’t reject a person’s choice to have their denials or beliefs but when I reject their denials or beliefs, they usually feel that I’m also rejecting them as a person (their essence) and that’s not the truth. I reject the unloving act or action, but not the person that is doing it. I reject the act or action of anyone or anything trying to attack or control me but not the person doing the action. I don’t know where this is going or why I’m writing this… but I know I’ll find out sooner or later. Of course the trick here is knowing if you are in denial and have an unresolved issue, when you are rejecting what another says or does as unloving.

JR

08 Jan 16 Last night I had another “dream” in which I was with a bunch of guys that I knew from the neighborhood and from school. I was asked to join them when they were going out to have some fun. Thinking that they seemed like nice guys, and happy to be accepted, I decided to take them up on their offer although I didn’t know what they were going to be doing and I didn’t ask.

It ended up that when they got together, they became a gang, like a band of outlaws, doing whatever they wanted which was something that I didn’t see when I saw them as individuals. At first I was confused as we were going to a house which I though, belonged to one of the guys, but as the night went on I realized that they had picked this place because no one was home. In the process of “having fun” they were trashing and destroying the place and other peoples personal stuff.

One guy that I knew personally took me on as his buddy, his side-kick, not because we had something in common, but because I had a car that he wanted to drive. He coaxed me into letting him drive and when I said OK, he took the wheel and drove as if he was a crook trying to escape the police. He was speeding, running stop sign, crossing curbs and medians, driving on the wrong side of the road and even on sidewalks. I complained that he was destroying my car and other peoples property and he said, relax, everything will be fine, I’m just having fun and I’m not hurting anyone. I couldn’t argue with him as no one was physically hurt, and I couldn’t tell if my car was damaged as I was still in the car and couldn’t see the outside.

Finally he pulled off the road and backed up a small country lane. He said he was tired and wanted to sleep. He took the car keys out of the ignition, pulled the front seat forward, and then jumped into the back seat leaving me the cramped front seat. I tried to sleep but couldn’t as he was moving around and making noises, and he was also asking me questions. Finally he decided to get up as it was getting light outside and we got out of the car to stretch our legs. As I walked about I saw two houses that had been trashed and partly burned. There were broken children’s toys, torn or soiled clothing and wrecked personal items scattered all around. Confused, I looked and over at him and saw him smiling at me. He smiled a smirky smile and said, “Yea, we had a couple of good parties here.” I woke up.

As I analyzed the dream, I realized that although they seemed to be “nice” guys (as individuals) on the surface, they weren’t loving as they were only being nice to get what they wanted and when they go together as a gang, then their denials became exposed and their real self emerged. I also realized that I didn’t want to associate with them anymore, or to be anything like them.

JR

For the past few days I've exchanged several e-mails with the woman I mentioned in Post #48. I've been trying to figure out why this woman and the other woman I mentioned are similar and what the issues are and last night I feel/think, I figured it out... To do that I had to go back to my own learning and healing process to remember what it was like from that side... from the way I used to be... I'm wrote seven pages, but I will just give you key points.

In the past, while I may have admitted that I had certain flaws or that my life was not as perfect as I would like it to be (in general terms) I was most adamant that I was a kind, caring, sharing, loving, compassionate, generous, co-operative and compromising kind-of-guy... In other words, I felt that I was a regular, all round Mr. NICE GUY. While I thought and believed that, the reality was that I wasn't really as OK or as NIce as I said I was. YET... at the same time, no one, and I mean NO ONE, could have told me or convinced me otherwise. __ Bush... Mr "NICE GUY" too

I was still running on my old imprints, programs and false beliefs as well as false emotions but I didn't know or even think that it was possible that both my beliefs and emotions were false, as back then, I was also what I thought, the master of, and in control of my feelings and emotions. The bottom line was that I couldn't be told anything that didn't fit my belief, and anything that anyone said to convince me otherwise would only reinforce my position as I'd feel that they were only trying to take my power away from me and to control me. I had my own (single minded) Blind men and the Elephant point of view that I was right and be dammed with those that said I am wrong....

I remembered my journey and how I first struggled through learning the various tools that would eventually help me and then to using them to begin to help heal my emotions. One of the first things I did was to clear my attachments to people places and things and then to go through all the emotional releases and also the releasing of the false mental imprints, programs and beliefs associated with those attachments. While I knew the tools and certain truths... applying it was another matter as I had no experience.

My first real breakthrough was with the knife issue, but even with that, I still believed that I was the all around Mr. NICE GUY and it wasn't until my next break though in 2000, that I finally got it... I realized what denial was and how it worked and how false beliefs and false emotions were creating my reality... From that point on, my thoughts and ideas now had a firm footing based in reality.. in physical experience.

Now I know what others are also going to have to go through that are also searching and I have this experience to thank for helping me see what was blurring my vision. (and I also mean literally) That while people may have a mental understanding of the concept, if there is no real emotional movement, then there is also no real physical experience of what it feels like and no real understanding, just an idea or concept, that now gets put into a false belief. And to do that, they are going to have to start at the beginning and do as I did, step by step, and all that I can really do is to provide the tools and insights that has taken me years to uncover, but given that, it is still their process, their experience for their healing. It's been a while, and I needed to take a look back to see where I cam from, to see where I'm going.

That even though people may "know" the right words, they still have no clue as to what they really mean unless there are also real feelings and emotions in the words ... It's like mentally knowing what a bike is and knowing that it can be ridden, but the problem is... that while they have thoughts and ideas, they know nothing of what it feels like to balance, peddle, brake and steer a bike and to have all of these factors combined with the experience of riding a bike...

I was excited when I got e-mails from both of these women, as I was surprised that both had come to the conclusions they had and so my mind figured that if they know that, then they must also have experienced and know similar things that I do.. but that was not to be the case. While they may know what denial is as far as the dictionary definition goes.. they don't really know what it is and how it affects their life as they have no practical experience in identifying false beliefs and false emotions or in knowing what denials are and in ending their denials... They have never ridden the bike... so they don't know what that is like and it's just a word game... like the one I used to play..

JR