Saysame (Says-a-me)

’09 Jan 01 7:51 pm I had an Epsom salts bath tonight and during my soak, I had the thought that people who value “life” based on what they will lose when they die, don’t value life, but death, and their denied fear of death. Those who value life are grateful for what they have, and will experience, but… the old proverbial but… we can’t be in that space until we have healed all our issues that cause us to think otherwise, and just saying that we are grateful doesn’t mean that we are.

Of course there is always the case to be stated that we are Spiritual beings and that we are immortal, but dying a physical death is not an example of our immortality put into practice. Death is not a “natural” part of life, as anyone or anything that desires life, does not seek death.

Hummm? As I’m writing this post I flashed to an old message I got a few years ago, that
“To know what love is, we need to know what love is not.”

As I typed that, I got that,
“To know what life is, we need to know what life is not… Death.”

I don’t know where this is going, but I thought I would share it as I’m sure that it will be relevant to what is to come.

Food for thought.
JR

’09 March 25 In the process of writing my second book and in various chats the past couple of weeks, I’ve come up with a few noteworthy insights and quotes that I want to share with you.

“It’s not about finding and experiencing things that make you happy, it’s about being happy and excited about the things you are experiencing.”

“Being habitually abused and a victim, means you are addicted to hate, both by others and your own self-hatred”

“You are afraid of being hated and rejected, because you are already doing a good job at it“

“Luck… Lucky... there are no coincidences and having good or bad luck is a judgment based on expectations. “

“The first step to solving a problem is being aware and acknowledging that there is a problem”

“After you have knowingly denied yourself for a third time, you are caught in the gap of your denial.”

“Your best teachers are the mistakes you make”

“You give your power away when you are in a state of denial.”

“Judgments are thought form frozen in time and attached to the thinker.”

“You are not afraid of death, but rather you are afraid of life.”

“Awakening is not what you desire, as sleeping is what you know.”

“Hindsight is when you realize what happened after the fact.
Foresight is when you apply hindsight to the present experience to gain insight
Insight is the moment when you realize that you are experiencing something different and unique.”

“When all that is false has been removed, the truth is obvious.”

“The Truth is simple, it is the denials and lies that are complicated.”


“Hope is a word based on expectation, that is used to replace the word doubt.”

“I am not a skeptic, I am a seeker of the truth.”

“Being in denial is known and comfortable, telling the truth isn’t.”

“Unconditional Love begins with U.”
JR

’08 Aug 30 3:50 am Although I’m just becoming aware of these thought form attachments and thought forms and how huge this really is, it really hasn’t sunk in. I think that I’m in shock at the realization and just how big and powerful it is, yet has gone unnoticed it is as it silently drifts from one person to the next, like neuron transmitters in the brain, transferring information and controlling us at the same time. Keeping us is a state of suspended animation, asleep, slumbering, and we call this dream like state life when in reality it’s just the opposite. This life is a dream, in that we as humanity are not living to our true potential but are rather living according to these subliminal thought forms that have so imprinted and programmed us that we believe them to be real and a normal part of living and life as they have been here for what seems like eternity.

This goes way back, and I don’t mean to our present recorded history, I mean back to Atlantis, Lumeria, and all the way back to Pan. Hummm? Back to Pan, Pangaea, back to the father warriors that said they were here to protect us and then, after the war in the Heavens, with the arrival of Lucifer (the Dark Wizard) and his band of denial Spirits, the fallen Angels. Since then, we, as humanity have been slowly losing not only our consciousness, but our powers because these subliminal thought forms of energy have attached themselves and have imprinted us into this unseen role of denial that has been playing out in our reality ever since.

R.U.O.W Book1 “Right Use of Will” Page 70 where the father Warriors invade earth to offer protection and then on page 74 where Lucifer, (the dark Wizard) brings death and the killing and eating of each other.

’08 Aug 30 4:02 am I just though that having to eat to live is another mass conscious belief and thought form that we all have in common, that we have to kill animals and plants in order to be able to live. In R.U.O.W this eating others goes back to Pan with Lucifer and his band of gangles (gang angels) where he convinced the original Spirits that never killed or ate another, that eating another was normal in the universe where he had come from.

Survival of the fittest is another mass conscious thought form where only the strong survive. Hidden in that thought form is the belief that feelings and emotions are to be controlled and suppressed and as showing any sign of feelings or emotions is showing ones weakness, and therefore, one is not strong and will not thrive or survive.

Having to work is another mass conscious thought form and yet another is working for a cause, for the good of all. In other words, the individual is part of the collective consciousness, and it’s the collective consciousness that is important, while the individual is expendable. The hidden message is one of self-sacrifice for the common good and the soldiers battle cry in wars.

Conflict and war is yet another thought form created by our duality as any different point-of-view is seen as being wrong, and being wrong, it must be set right, and if the person doesn’t volunteer to change, then the only way to convince them is to overpower them physically, mentally and emotionally so that there is no conflict, but blind obedience, respect, loyalty, discipline and law and order. If we all follow the same rules and laws, then there will be no conflict, EXCEPT of course, those that are in a position of power can and do make EXCEPTIONS that involve them or their kind.

JR

For the past few weeks, I’ve been involved in a couple of discussions on Tribes RUoW group. One discussion thread was “repost of the touchy subjects thread for all to care to look back or continue with discussion” and the other was “Rage” It was the first topic, that touched off a series of activations and denied rage attacks. For me, it was interesting as I could see it all unfolding and I could also relate it to my healing experiences, except that in this case, there was no healing taking place, only Spirit’s (mind) denials and denied rage attacking others and Will’s (feelings) denials and her denied rage attacking internally.

I’d been sharing my personal experiences and insights for years and whenever I did, I was always met with either they didn’t like the messenger (me)... or the message I was sharing, or the way in which I presented the message..... and that was because they were already activated and re-acting to their imprints programs and beliefs that saw me as the problem.... I posted what I felt I needed to, even though there was all this denied rage flying around.... and while some of it was directed at me, I wasn’t activated by any of it.

Yesterday I felt a shift in the group and as I finished posting a reply to a comment on one of my previous posts and I had another insight (for lack of a better word)... I felt that I was seeing a butterfly beginning to emerge from its chrysalis, getting ready for the next stage of its life... It was like I was a witness to a miracle, a “new life” form... I also felt that it was time for me to pull back from the group and to let them sort out their healing process for themselves, that I felt was now about to emerge.

JR

NOTE: If you click on the links… in the upper right hand corner of the web page you will find ---> threaded | unthreaded | newest first <--- Click on | unthreaded | as that will put the posts chronological order.

’08 Apr 13 12:51 am Earlier in the evening I had been looking at a tree outside my bedroom window and I was thinking of how mush our life is like a trees life… Hummm! Interesting… the tree of life…

The tree starts out like we do with a sexual act with two cells joining and then growing to create two more and so on until it is able to establish itself as a seed. The seed then establishes contact with the Earth and the other elements of light (heat, fire), air, water and space and time, and it grows to experience itself and its relationships to other things that have also chosen to experience life on Earth.

I was then thinking of the structure of the tree from the roots, trunk, branches, twigs, leaves and flowers and how it goes though one cycle, one season, similar to our one life time. Then I thought about how new growth, new parts don’t replace the old, but are added to the old or existing growth. I was thinking of my previous writings on space and time and how a tree’s past (the old branches of yesterday) form the foundation of the new and present growth that will form the basis of future growth of tomorrow.

A young tree doesn’t occupy much space because it hasn’t had the (time) to grow and experience life like a tree that is older and has experienced more (time) on Earth and with that it’s also bigger, as it occupies more space. I was comparing the tree to Humans as we compare a child to an adult in the same way. We say that an adult has had more time/space experience than a young child.

Then taking that one step further, I could also see how and why some humans are called “Young Souls” while others that have had more incarnations and space/time experience, like the large and older tree, are called “Old Souls.”

Things that make me go Hummmm?
JR

'08 March 05 I was watching Discovery Channel on TV about an Aztec ruin that was recently discovered that dates back to being the oldest yet uncovered. In the base of the pyramid they found a 200 foot long tunnel and a mural painted on the wall depicting their history and beliefs.

What drew my attention was the picture of a Aztec man holding a knife in one hand and his penis in another and it showed blood coming from his penis as if he had cut himself. The story went on to say that this ceremony was the letting of a man’s scared blood (penis) as a symbol of life, and then the painting glyphs went on to describe how it was related to human sacrifices and the shedding of blood to honor the gods so that nature and they (the people) would flourish.

I thought of how backwards it all was. Here they believed that it’s a man’s blood (penis) that is sacred while in reality it’s a woman’s blood (her natural menstrual cycle) that is sacred and the giver of life. They deny the truth and in its place, they created the belief that is the opposite of the truth… Talk about twisted…

JR

A couple of months back I wrote a few thoughts on desire and love in little pocket note book that I carry with me to work. In it, I wrote that I feel that my desire is wrong and that the program I have is that what I desire isn’t right.

As I typed the above for this blog post I heard my mother’s voice and her cutting words, “be grateful for what you have, the roof over your head, the clothes on your back and the food on the table. There are a lot of kids out there that don’t have what you have so be grateful for what you have and stop your whining and complaining" --- Guilt is what she gave me there instead of love and the truth. The truth was that we didn’t have the money so that we could have and do what others had and could do, but she was feeling guilty and too ashamed and proud to admit it so she quilted and blamed our desire as wrong.

Others oppose, or deny my desire because they have no acceptance for it.

As I typed in the above sentence I felt that this is another program I have, in that I can’t be the leader, that I have to be a follower because my ideas and desires are not good enough or right and that others are better than me because their ideas and desires are accepted whereas mine are rejected and shunned.

I also have another program in that I need acceptance of my desire (by others) before I can even accept it, and isn’t that just fucked up!

Desire is like unconditional live. It’s all about YOU and what you want and desire and not about what makes others people happy. As I wrote that in my book, I heard a soft voice ask. “You have desire to heal, but do you have the desire to live?”

Unconditional Love is a state of being, being in the present moment without expectation or condition. Unconditional love sees joy and happiness in the present moment and in all past moments.

Whereas, conditional love is based on our imprints, programs and beliefs and on the past as it has expectations on any future experiences based and referenced to the past. The “now” or present moment is not being lived or experienced as it is being used to either re-live a past experience that brought pleasure, or, if there is a fear and an undesirable issue, then the present moment is used to find ways in which not to re-live the past experiences.

A few days ago when I got the insight that I mentioned in Post 212 a friend commented on my other blog in Tribe and said… “Perhaps the next step is to be passionate about being passionate and love loving and living! Since you have no fear of fear it should be a fun and joyous ride!” I feel that comment also ties in with what is going on now.

Once I clear my old imprints, programs and beliefs of what my desires are based on making other people happy, then may desire will be like a blank canvas, limited only to my imagination.

JR

’07 Nov 05 I've been "off" for a few days... feeling disconnected. I go between feeling numb to feeling heartbreak and then to a weird form of anger and rage.

I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and he's going to do a biopsy on my mark that appears to be getting bigger. I have a fear that it's cancerous and as it's so close to my genitals that I could also could have prostrate cancer and maybe it's even spread into my Lymph system.

I also have a feeling of what's the use__ why fight? Why struggle to heal if you only end up dying by some hideous disease that eats away at you until you are not able to physically survive.

That then leads to a feeling of heartbreak. If I can't help myself, then I can't help others. And where is God and why does he allow this to happen? And if God doesn't care and can't help me, then what's the point?

And then it's back to anger and rage at God and since I can't do anything to God. I go numb...

Maybe it's all a projection and it's not reality? Maybe and maybe not?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As I typed that I remembered how I felt the same way about God when our family was excommunicated from the Catholic Church because of what I did or rather didn’t do. That’s another story that I’m not going to go into at this time.

I keep getting the feeling that “Ja kar far qua” is around me and that he has something to do with my mind going numb. I was in a text chat with a friend and the name came up again. It sounded vaguely familiar so afterwards I checked my list of entities that have been around me in the past and sure enough Jakar was there. He is associated with manipulation, illusionists, hope and faith. I feel that the name “Far qua” is another entity that is his partner.

4:44 pm I felt a brief moment of wanting to be held and cradled and then I wanted the nurturing and loving care of a Mother. That’s one thing that I haven’t experienced… I was going to say in this life time, but I felt that it was bigger than that and that it’s something that I’ve never experienced in all my existence.

8:12 pm I was having a shower and I was feeling how this is all about survival and the feeling of wanting to live yet at the same time feeling that life or rather a happy and loving life is not what one is supposed to have as there is also the feeling that there is no acceptance from God or you or your plight. You want and desire love and life but all that you’re able to experience is the opposite.

JR

The R.U.O.W. material came out in 1984 and I’ve been involved with it since 1997. I had my first healing experience in 1999 and my awakening in 2001. I was personally involved with two people that were also using this material and they were actually the ones that helped me do some of my early healing and yet, as unbelievable as it seems, they are still going around in same old circles and being activated into the same old issues, as they are ”stuck” on their point of view.

I’ve “been there done that” so I know what they’re going through and I also know what is needed for them to get themselves un-stuck, but nothing I say is heard and like my other personal experiences and with those on the internet, I’m rejected and accused of being an insensitive know-it-all and of being holier than thou. Although I could understand why unloving people rejected me, I couldn’t figure out why loving people in denial also rejected me. I’ve recently had several insights as to why, and the biggest one was that these people are not ready yet and they don’t have the “intent” or heart to do what it takes to love themselves. They think and say they love themselves unconditionally, but that’s not the truth because they don’t know what love is.

For years, I’ve searched for like minded, feeling and intent people and I’ve been in numerous internet groups and I’ve even been contacted by people involved in R.U.O.W. but I have yet to find one person that I feel is of genuine loving intent and is “walking their talk.” I see and hear people boasting that they have been working with R.U.O.W. for 18 or 20 years, as if time or was some sort of criteria for healing and evolving. They talk about doing emotional work, releasing judgments and doing body work but none have the intent and Heart presence to commit to action, what R.U.O.W. has to offer, to walk their talk.

Most of the R.U.O.W material puts emphasis on healing and evolving the Will, the feeling and emotional body and that is what most R.U.O.W.’ers seem to be doing. There’s more to it and they have missed the Key point. It’s not mentioned very often in the books but the Key to any and all healing has to begin in the Heart, not the Will. Healing begins in the Heart because if you can’t come from a place of love, as real as you can be in the moment, then any work you do is not only wasted, but also serves to widen the gap in healing the Spirit and Will or any other parts of our being. In order for real unconditional love and acceptance to be expressed, the Heart needs to be healed as it’s also in the gap. When you have real “intent” to heal you also have Heart presence, then and only then can you begin to heal your Will and Spirit, to find balance and to “walk your talk.” Without Heart presence, Spirit can’t accept the Will feelings, and the Will can’t accept Spirits understanding. Without Heart, it’s an “act” of love and not loving presence. The Will isn’t going to open to what it feels is unloving, no matter what Spirit says, as love is something that is felt and you can’t fool the Will if unconditional love is not present.

I did a quick search of my R.U.O.W books (my index on the blank pages in the back) and I found a few pages that I had referenced as Heart. I’m not going to quote them, I’ll just give you the page numbers for you to look up, except I did quote the last one just for food for thought.

Book 1 Blue Book Right Use of Will Page 6
Book 2 Purple Book Original Cause Page xi
Book 5 Yellow book - Heart song. Page 49, Page 115, Page 186, Page 189, Page 192

Book 8 Indigo – Indigo Page 249 “To find balance now means going back over the pieces and putting them back together again, even the missing, not vibrating and seemingly dead pieces, but finding the balance point is necessary and it is your journey to self awareness that never took place in the beginning or We would not have the healing on Our hands that We do, but no matter how it looks to you now, healing can be found if you have a loving heart, because that is where the balance point is going to be found. “

Since my recent insights, I’m no longer going to search for other R.U.O.W. groups or people, instead, I'm going to let them find me. My vision and intent is to create a Web space where people that have loving intent, can come to learn, share and heal and move what they can when they can and where we can help each other in a loving way. It is my intent that the ideas and works that will be discussed within this space will not only expand your consciousness, but also activate your emotions and touch your heart. I don’t have all the answers, but I am dedicated to healing myself and to live the “life” I have yet to dream, imagine and explore as we bring Heaven to Earth. If this is your dream, desire and intent, then welcome to The Heart Centre.

John
"Healing begins in the Heart"

July 26 6:15 a.m. I had just finished writing a piece on healing the inner and outer child and fragmentation and how you don't have conscious memory of your "outer" child and that the more severe the trauma, the less memory you have of your childhood experiences. What memories you do have are either fuzzy or based on stories that you have been told or from pictures of those so-called special times. Because healing never happens, you continue to fragment every time you are activated and so you continue through life in a fog. You can't and are not being real, and so you "act" out your life instead of living and experiencing it and there are few if any, real emotions that are felt and expressed to bring the life to the experience.

As I wrote that I felt how much I've lost. My childhood, my adolescence, teen, young adult and most of my adult years. You can't be real and present and in the moment if you are not all present to begin with. I can't go back and re-live those experiences, and why would I, they were hell? I want to experience what I never got to experience, my lost innocence and all the things that were robbed from me. I know I can go back and heal the parts of me that I lost, but how do I heal or experience what I never got a chance to do, to live life and experience it with love.................. I'm in a fog.

As I'm typing this for my blog post I can feel the utter heartbreak of it all. I'm feeling that this is something that I have never experienced in all my existences.. As I was searching google for a image I came across this one called Best Friends.. As a child, my dog was the only friend I had and just remembering that brings tears to my eyes.

JR

May 13 12:25 a.m. Sunday (Continued from Post 76)

I feel that what got to me in the movie, was not only the feelings and emotions, but the expression of them through the Body. In the dancing it’s about two bodies that were also communicating on an intuitive and feeling level. It’s this shared experience that can only happen when two people are open and willing to create the unconditional experience. One person can’t do it by themselves; it takes another person to interact with to create the shared experience. In the dance, they both have to be open, vulnerable and trust one another as one person leads and the other follows, but at the same time it’s more than that. It’s “how” one leads and “how” one follows and the feelings associated with that. If there is any form of a power play or desire to control the self or the other person, or if there is fear of being controlled or a need to protect or defend oneself, then nothing flows and there is no MAGIC as REAL desire and passion has been replaced by control, doubt and denial.

12:48 a.m. Happiness is what this is all about. We strive for happiness but we are never satisfied with what we have, we need more, bigger, better, the best. We equate happiness with people, places and things we possess or have control over. Sure there are those “moments” when we feel happy, but they are not really REAL, because if they were, we would be in a continuous state of happiness and joy as our desires would be created without any plan, expectation or fear.

Then there are the people that say they don’t need others to make them happy and while there is a part truth in that statement, what is missing is REAL life, as REAL life is about experience and our relationship with other people, places and things. You need to interact with something or your entire existence would be self-centered and all that you would ever experience is your own voice, seeing your body through your eyes only and feeling only your touch and your body. Even your thoughts would be limited to yourself and there would also be no memory or means of comparison or differentiation between what is you and what is not you. All the other sensations and experiences require another person, place or thing.

Happiness as it is presently experienced also includes those people that believe that if they had or did what other people have or do, that they would be happy and if they can’t have exactly the same thing, they will play a mind game with themselves that what they have is either the same or is actually better. They continually need to have “new” things in order to be happy.

1:03 a.m. We feel that it is somehow wrong to desire happiness and that we need to EARN it; that we either need to work for it in terms of earning money so that we can buy things that bring momentary happiness or to buy people, to make them happy so that they will make us happy.

If it’s not money, they you believe that you need to earn your happiness by being nice, kind, loving, respectful, generous, etc to others in the hope that what goes around come around, that you reap what you sow, that sooner or later the so-called happiness you created for others is returned to you and that favor or debt is repaid. But until that happens, just to be on the safe side, you also extract some joy and happiness in making the other person happy by living through them and their experience of receiving what you are giving them. Don’t believe me, consider this. If what you did… didn’t please the other person or make them happy, would you be happy and excited?

We also deny that we are not happy and we pretend or even believe that feeling numb or nothing, no sadness, heartbreak, fear or terror or anger and rage is a state of happiness and joy, even though it’s only feely numb or nothing. If they do show some form of joy or happiness, there is no “depth” to it, as it’s a superficial presentation, an act; there is nothing REAL as you can’t be REAL if you are feeling numb or nothing. Happiness is the absence of pain and suffering, terror, anger and rage…… but not though the use of avoidance or denial

1:18 a.m. And like in the movie “Shall We Dance” when he told his wife the REAL reason he secretly took up dancing. He said that he was afraid to tell her that he was unhappy as he was afraid that he would lose what little happiness he did have. We so desperately cling to the moments of happiness and in the process we shut out life. We cling to the steps we have taken, (obtained) a certain point or moment and we totally ignore all the other moments and interactions that occurred between the steps. We focus on our goals and expectations of future happiness based on our previous experiences (steps) that either brought us happiness or unhappiness.

So here we are, somewhere between feeling numb and nothing to being satisfied to get our happiness through other people, places or things. We are afraid to express our real unhappiness and our real desires. Caught in the web of denial, we are destined to experience variations of survival and the illusion of life, but not REAL life or love.

3:38 a.m. Besides the one-on-one relationship, there is also the family, friends, and social interactions that also contribute to happiness and joy, but again, only if they are experienced in a REAL (non denial) way and not the staged and acted performances that they presently are.

4:34 a.m. Living life as an expression of who we really are… Humm! That’s part of my mission statement on my website. That’s my desire. Hummm? Is that what I’m working on now, manifesting my REAL desires? As I wrote that I broke out in a hot sweat and I heard a soft voice say, “yes and no. You are working on your imprinting that is stopping you from manifesting your desires. It’s part and parcel, but there is more work to do, but it wouldn’t be long.” “Thanks Astrid.” (Astrid is one of my Guides) I rolled over and finally went to sleep.

JR

May 12 Saturday 1:58 p.m.

Corrine sent me a copy of the missing chapter in R.U.O.W. Book #7 and I read it twice. It’s all about major imprints of Spirit against the Will by what was felt but not expressed.

I’ve been feeling as if I’m going around in circles and I feel lost and confused I can’t pin point it but it surfaces for a split second and then it’s gone but it’s still there long enough to leave me with this feeling so it must be HUGH if it can do that in a milli-second. Even when it’s not in my consciousness for understanding, I can feel it. There is this part of me that just feels it wants to cry, sob and make sounds that will move, not only these feelings, but all of creation, that’s how big and deep it feels.

I feel like I’m in the bottom of this bottomless pit and all this stuff is on top of me and is suffocating me but at the same time it’s saying that it isn’t, that it’s not hunting me. But I feel that this thing is either blind and ignorant or feigning to be blind and ignorant and in that is also where part of the heartbreak is.

It’s like all the games that have been played “in the name of love” or “out of love” or “in loving intent” that really have nothing to do with love except the control of it. It’s vast, it’s everywhere and I don’t know how of if it can be healed. I feel defeated as if the life was being squeezed out of me and I don’t have the energy to push back. I try to keep myself from collapsing under the weight and pressure of it all. I feel it’s like a boa constrictor, I have to let out some air before I can take a breath, but when I do, it squeezes tighter and now I can’t expand myself to take a breath I need to live and it’s slowly squeezing the life out of me.

I feel alone and helpless as there is no one here that can help me. I don’t know if anyone even knows that I’m here or if they did, if they even cared. I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep and either never wake up, or wake up and realize that it was all a bad dream. My body aches, my bones, my muscles hurt, its OK as long as I don’t move. I feel that life is not possible and that death and loss of consciousness is my fate and that is also part of the Heartbreak. I just went blank…. 2:59 p.m. I just woke up.

JR

’07 Feb. 04 7:10 a.am.

I was only going to give a summary of what I got this morning but as I began to type, I felt that I needed to share the whole package.
I awoke with the question. Why do the elements do evil, why are they unloving? Fire burns and destroys yet the absence of (heat) fire is cold and it freezes things to death and destroys them. Air has tornados, cyclones and hurricanes. Earth has volcanoes and earth quakes. Water has waves, ice and rain.

Hummm It seems like fire is the one that affects all the other elements causing them to react as they do, as all the above issues involve some form of heat. Heat even affects space causing objects to expand or shrink in size (space)

Heat comes in many forms, from an open flame, to lava, friction, chemical and electrical to now nuclear. Nuclear energy has been developed by man and is now capable of not only destroying the Earth, but also all of creation as Earth is the Magnetic center of the universe and if it goes, so does all of creation…

Humm? So is fire in its various forms the psychopathic killer of creation, going to either extreme to kill any form of life or living essence, including itself? R.U.O.W. mentions a hot dry wind that destroyed a universe and that also ravaged the Earth.

Fire can also be found in Humans as we generate heat in order to live, as do animals. We, as well as animals, can also emotionally explode in the heat of anger and rage and then withdraw and give others and everything the cold shoulder. So if fire affects humans and animals in the same aggressive way, what about plants? Most plants need fire and warmth to grow, too much fire and they get burned. Not enough and they grow weak and frail.

While that is a simplified version of the outside, how does fire affect the internal? Since plants in general are rooted to the earth……

Ahhh! But other plants take over another plants place, we call them weeds, choking out other plants, being aggressive, living off others. Then there are the fungus, algae, and bacteria that also live off other plants and animals. Humm? Now we are getting into the microscopic organisms that live within the space of others. I’m comparing this aggressive action of plants to the aggressive action of animals and humans, the fire of anger and RAGE.

Fire exists in some form or another in all of creation, question is, is it natural? It seems to be the only element that has the power and desire to control and destroy any other element or living thing in its path. 7:39 a.m.

7:41 a.m. At the same time, fire is essential for life. The sun is fire and gives us light and heat. For the most part, plants and animals need light and heat to live but there are certain species of plants and animals that can live in the dark and in extreme cold.

Question is, why don’t or didn’t the other elements, earth, air, water and ether(space) go out of balance like fire seems to have done? Why is it that fire seems to be the only one that is out of balance and is creating havoc and death? The word CONTROL popped up a couple of times. Why is fire out of control?

Hummm? You can have a “natural” balance of the elements or you can try to “control” the elements to try to find a balance that appears natural. Two entirely different things.

Hummm! Intent is the underlying factor and with intent is “love.” Unconditional love is balance, while conditional love seeks to control the balance “of power”

Ahhh! I just got that Fire was the first element that was created. God, (Father/Mother) had no physical bodies, only the ether of essence in which they were coming into existence. The Father (Spirit-Mind) is light, electrical (Fire and heat) in nature while the Mother (Soul-Will -feelings) is sound and magnetic in nature. This was all happening at the very beginnings of the awakening of consciousness. There were no other elements yet created. There were no thoughts or even words to describe them.

Ahh! That’s why fire and heat are essential for life as they are Spirit. Hot and cold are polarities. So if Spirit is heat, the Soul must be cold. Or… do they each have both qualities? Is there something else going on?

Getting back to what I had a moment ago. When the Spirit moved to get rid of the thing, the “it” the Mother as he didn’t want to be disturbed. When he did that he didn’t know that she existed as a part of his being, as he wasn’t yet conscious enough to know that differentiation was taking place. She (the Mother) was only stirring into consciousness and it was this stirring the he felt. The energy that he send, that broke off or fragmented from him, went to strike or attack the mother. This was an electrical charge that created an electromagnetic fire when it struck the magnetic Soul, the Mother of creation. Part of this reverse polarity light energy penetrated the Will, but part of it was reflected back and struck the fragment (the Psychopathic Killer) and also Spirit. This seemingly innocent and ignorant action created the imprinting that was to set up a blueprint for all of creation.

8:00 a.m. Spontaneous combustion is an example of this unbalanced energy where it destroys most of the other elements in the Human physical Body and affects little else, except the person’s clothes that they were wearing or they chair they were sitting in.

Hummm? I was thinking of the Kundalini energy. Is the energy from Mind to Emotion hot? And is the energy from the Emotions to the Mind, cold? Is that why I have been feeling so cold recently? Are my emotions trying to reach my mind? I guess, no, I know, that if my Mind was listening to my emotions, that I wouldn’t be feeling cold. 

8:21 a.m. So if fire is not balanced, then that explains the why and how it become unbalanced and also how it reversed its polarity, as only reversed polarity energy wants to control or destroy. The other elements also have polarity but it is only their association with fire that creates the extremes and imbalances within their essence that also creates destruction and death. But, there is more, a lot more to all this

We would like to believe that God and Creation, are balanced, but in actuality, they aren’t. What brought creation into imbalance was Original Cause, the first strike at the mother that created the reversed polarity (RAGE) fire element that wanted to hunt her down and kill her. The second strike, the second fragment, was Lucifer that went out into creation to try to control the Mother since the psychopathic killer didn’t do his job. Since then, these two reversed polarity energies have been creating havoc, death and destruction throughout the universe. All things in creation have been affected by the actions and resulting imprints, of these two original splits in consciousness.

While there is a balance, there is also that which seeks to control the balance and this creates the imbalance. The element of fire that is balanced gives and promotes life. The reversed polarity rage aspect of fire is the energy that tries to destroy life and it is that energy that creates the imbalance in creation. All things that we believe as nature and “natural” and a part of life are in fact false, as the opposite is true.

For essence and consciousness that is seeking life and to evolve and experience itself, death or the absence of consciousness is not its desire and therefore.. is not Natural….

Humm! It’s interesting! Nature and natural. I’ve been recently drawn to a website template that is called “Natural.”

That essence which is seeking to control, needs to, and will find its right place outside the aspects of this creation so that a new blueprint of creation, one of balance can be experienced by essence that is seeking life and love.

While I have been focusing on the Spirit or Father aspect of original cause, there is also the Soul or Mother perspective. She has of course her opposite polarity of this denied rage. This denied reversed polarity rage aspect goes out, but instead of trying to kill as in making the first strike, this RAGE fragment wants revenge, to get even, pay back for getting hurt, to even the score, and eye for and eye, and it is also dominating and controlling. There is more, there always is…

JR