My Opera20 July
Sunday, July 20, 2008 12:41:24 PM
Hello again all , hope the weekend was kind to ya's
let's start with this
A van carrying a dozen movie stunt men on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guardrail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a Kit-Kat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a Kit-Kat Chunky and brings it back to him. "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kit-Kat, you fat bitch!"
How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?
here
Beer Goggles
here
Portugal’s Ceramic Penis Tradition
here
A bloke applies for a job with the Victoria police, Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one further test: Take this gun, go out, and shoot 6 Abo's, 6 Muslim's & a rabbit". Bloke replies "Why the rabbit?" Inspector replies, "Fantastic attitude... you've got the job!"
A blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. The milkman thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
"I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
"Pasteurised?"
"No, just up to my breasts."
SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
Do I look like a fucking people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay cheque.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Two Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes."Crikey mate, that was impressive!" "I get lots of practice" replied the other guy. "My wife's epileptic".
Dewalt Rapid Fire Nail Gun
here
The Good Oil
Lots of info on lots of people
here
The Craziness You've Heard People Say in Their Sleep
here
Zebo, a half blind five year old South African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fucking hilarious.
Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.
"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick."
"You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard..."
They turn to the third blonde and ask, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"
"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it."
She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is looking miserable with tears running down her face.
"Oh honey, what's wrong?" the first blonde asks. "Why are you crying?" "Chris broke up with me when I was blowing him," she says.
"What on earth for?" the second blonde asks. "I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold."
well thats it for another week
let's start with this
A van carrying a dozen movie stunt men on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guardrail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a Kit-Kat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a Kit-Kat Chunky and brings it back to him. "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kit-Kat, you fat bitch!"
How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?
here
Beer Goggles
here
Portugal’s Ceramic Penis Tradition
here
A bloke applies for a job with the Victoria police, Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one further test: Take this gun, go out, and shoot 6 Abo's, 6 Muslim's & a rabbit". Bloke replies "Why the rabbit?" Inspector replies, "Fantastic attitude... you've got the job!"
A blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. The milkman thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
"I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
"Pasteurised?"
"No, just up to my breasts."
SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
Do I look like a fucking people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay cheque.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Two Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes."Crikey mate, that was impressive!" "I get lots of practice" replied the other guy. "My wife's epileptic".
Dewalt Rapid Fire Nail Gun
here
The Good Oil
Lots of info on lots of people
here
The Craziness You've Heard People Say in Their Sleep
here
Zebo, a half blind five year old South African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fucking hilarious.
Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.
"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick."
"You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard..."
They turn to the third blonde and ask, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?"
"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"
"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it."
She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is looking miserable with tears running down her face.
"Oh honey, what's wrong?" the first blonde asks. "Why are you crying?" "Chris broke up with me when I was blowing him," she says.
"What on earth for?" the second blonde asks. "I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold."
well thats it for another week
You must be 
