8th October
Wednesday, 8. October 2008, 10:43:13
G'day all , sorry again for a late post , I have been of ill health of late , but anyway lets get going
Here we go .....
God bless google street view
Three kids play one guitar and create an amazing song.
hear it here
Sexy and Flexy
here
Global warming
here
Go Green, Eco Friendly Sex Toys: Why Your Pink Parts Should Go Green
here
A guy sees a buddy and notices that his friend's car is a total wreck. It is covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "So what the heck happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park..."
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house."
A married couple goes to a marriage counsellor to work out some problems. The counsellor sits them on the couch and says "For starters, let's talk about something you both have in common." The husband says "Well, neither of us suck dick."
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realised he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.
He ended up finishing all eighteen.
He finished his round shooting a personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, and then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?"
Recently a "Husband Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left."
Adults only for the next few
3 Tittied girl
here
The whipcrack
here
DARWIN AWARDS
EIGHTH PLACE
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
SEVENTH PLACE
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
SIXTH PLACE
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
FIFTH PLACE
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
FOURTH PLACE
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
THIRD PLACE
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other 1 to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS...
A zookeeper fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say the ill-fated keeper was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked him to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'shit happens'.
Game Time - The Adventures Of Tinger
here
Game Time - Which Is Worse
here
Fake popup study sadly confirms most users are idiots
read here
Photos that changed the world
here
proof god exists ! via a banana !
here
Unbutton your beast!
here
click to enlarge
A man walks into a drug store with his 13 years old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter of factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college boys." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this.
"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have," says the man. "And has she helped you in making the decision?" "She has," says the man. "And what is it?" asks the doctor. "We're getting a new kitchen."
Forty Aboriginals arrive at the Pearly Gates in their old Kingswood's and Tarago's. St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. "I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?" God says "We are over Aboriginal quota for the month. Go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in." Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. "They've gone", he tells God. "What?" says God, "All 40 of them?" "No... the frigging gates!"
Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin. Four hours later I saw the same four men, carrying the same coffin. Thought to myself, they've lost the fuckin' plot!
The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He explains, "A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse." One student shouted out, "Professor, either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit."
well thats it , a new post will be the start of next month , hope to see ya all then
but i will leave you with this
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Here we go .....
God bless google street view
Three kids play one guitar and create an amazing song.
hear it here
Sexy and Flexy
here
Global warming
here
Go Green, Eco Friendly Sex Toys: Why Your Pink Parts Should Go Green
here
A guy sees a buddy and notices that his friend's car is a total wreck. It is covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "So what the heck happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park..."
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house."
A married couple goes to a marriage counsellor to work out some problems. The counsellor sits them on the couch and says "For starters, let's talk about something you both have in common." The husband says "Well, neither of us suck dick."
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realised he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.
He ended up finishing all eighteen.
He finished his round shooting a personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, and then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?"
Recently a "Husband Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left."
Adults only for the next few
3 Tittied girl
here
The whipcrack
here
DARWIN AWARDS
EIGHTH PLACE
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
SEVENTH PLACE
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
SIXTH PLACE
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
FIFTH PLACE
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
FOURTH PLACE
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
THIRD PLACE
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other 1 to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS...
A zookeeper fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say the ill-fated keeper was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked him to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'shit happens'.
Game Time - The Adventures Of Tinger
here
Game Time - Which Is Worse
here
Fake popup study sadly confirms most users are idiots
read here
Photos that changed the world
here
proof god exists ! via a banana !
here
Unbutton your beast!
here
click to enlarge
A man walks into a drug store with his 13 years old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter of factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college boys." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this.
"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have," says the man. "And has she helped you in making the decision?" "She has," says the man. "And what is it?" asks the doctor. "We're getting a new kitchen."
Forty Aboriginals arrive at the Pearly Gates in their old Kingswood's and Tarago's. St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. "I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?" God says "We are over Aboriginal quota for the month. Go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in." Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. "They've gone", he tells God. "What?" says God, "All 40 of them?" "No... the frigging gates!"
Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin. Four hours later I saw the same four men, carrying the same coffin. Thought to myself, they've lost the fuckin' plot!
The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He explains, "A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse." One student shouted out, "Professor, either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit."
well thats it , a new post will be the start of next month , hope to see ya all then
but i will leave you with this
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
WIDGETIZE