December 2008 Christmas special
Saturday, 20. December 2008, 04:16:14
G'day all , and a merry Christmas to all and a happy new year , a small xmas special for ya all to enjoy
RULES FOR BUYING GIFTS FOR MEN
With Christmas bearing down you may be starting to get desperate for present ideas. Well ladies, lucky for you this handy list will be more than helpful...
RULE 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
RULE 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.
RULE 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. Washer fluid, wheel gloss or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
RULE 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like 200 hundred feet of 3/8" nylon rope. No one knows why.
RULE 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing widescreen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.
RULE 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.
Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.
Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That's why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas line leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners." Everyone knows why.
Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule 11: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parent's house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivalled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!!"
Merry xmas from bush
here
Christmas Tree Fire Safety
here
The 12 Gays of Christmas
here
Santa Claus and Christmas at the Northpole
here
Tour The North Pole . . . Visit Santa
here
Santa Jigsaw puzzle
here
Santa Mauled By Reindeer
here
Free Christmas presents
here
Just to let ya all know I was on TV the other day , check it out
here
I had to post this coz its funny
Iraq Shoe Tosser Guy
here
Have a great xmas and new year , stay safe and see you all again next year in 2009 , dont forget you can email me here
RULES FOR BUYING GIFTS FOR MEN
With Christmas bearing down you may be starting to get desperate for present ideas. Well ladies, lucky for you this handy list will be more than helpful...
RULE 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
RULE 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.
RULE 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. Washer fluid, wheel gloss or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
RULE 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like 200 hundred feet of 3/8" nylon rope. No one knows why.
RULE 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing widescreen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.
RULE 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.
Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.
Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That's why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas line leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners." Everyone knows why.
Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule 11: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parent's house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivalled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!!"
Merry xmas from bush
here
Christmas Tree Fire Safety
here
The 12 Gays of Christmas
here
Santa Claus and Christmas at the Northpole
here
Tour The North Pole . . . Visit Santa
here
Santa Jigsaw puzzle
here
Santa Mauled By Reindeer
here
Free Christmas presents
here
Just to let ya all know I was on TV the other day , check it out
here
I had to post this coz its funny
Iraq Shoe Tosser Guy
here
Have a great xmas and new year , stay safe and see you all again next year in 2009 , dont forget you can email me here
WIDGETIZE