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type as me

Come sail with me on the empty sea

February 2007

( Monthly archive )

STICKY POST

The Charming Monkey

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After playing Hotel Dusk Room 215 on the DS recently, I've become quite interested in Noir fiction. I already tried my hand at it (albeit in a tongue in cheek way) in the prologue to my review of the game. I really enjoyed writing that so much, so I'm going to attempt at writing a bit more. My plan is to write a story on my blog. I guess it's not going to be true Noir as I don't intend on it being that dark. A lighter Noir, if you will. A kind of Gris. I have a few ideas about the plot and characters, but I haven't planned that much of the story. I'm going to see where it takes me - it's a bit of an adventure.

The various parts can be reached via the links below (hit read more), and hopefully I'll be adding to it on a regular occasion. I have no doubt that there'll be the odd cliché, and it's very much a work in progress. Oh and a big thanks to JKing for the awesome CSS help!

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New Photos

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It's only been 4 months since my Honeymoon, but I've finally got around to uploaded a few of the photos. There were quite a few, so I've been a bit selective. It's mainly landscapes, as we actually didn't take that many of ourselves!

We went to Lucerne, in Switzerland, and it is such a beautiful place. We had a lovely time, and hope to go again someday.

I have put the photos into two albums:

Photos of people, places, and objects of interest.

Photos where I've tried to be all artsy.

The Charming Monkey - Part 2

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The Charming Monkey, Part 2

The Muscles walked directly towards my desk, ignoring Madison, who limply held out her hand, trying to attract his attention as he went past. The man who followed, was a man I recognised. We weren't on first name terms (hell, I hadn't even met the guy), but everyone knew The Fat Hungarian. His name was Miklos Vadas, and he owned "The Artemis", the local casino. He was a short man, with a very appropriate nickname. He was dressed in a tailored suit that fitted him much better than the suit that his goon was wearing. He had a weathered face that told a few stories - stories that I probably didn't want to hear. A broken nose and a couple of scars were his best features, but I wasn't in a hurry to call him ugly.

"Are you Cane, or Able?", demanded Muscles, as he slammed a piece of paper onto my desk. I knew what it was straight away. It had the words "Cane and Able's Debt Recovery Agency" written on it in big, bold letters, along with an address and telephone number. I had designed the flyer myself, and was secretly quite pleased with it.

"I'm Cane, but also very able", I replied with the smallest hint of a grin on my face. I caught a glimpse of Madison in the corner of my eye. She had begun to cringe before I even said the words. I never get tired of saying that line, but obviously Madison wasn't as fond of it as I was.

"Cute", grunted Muscles. "And where's Able?"

"I don't know", I said, "I haven't seen him for days now. He was chasing a lead over in Trent City last time I heard from him, but that was last week". The truth is that there was no Able. I made him up to give the agency a catchy name so that it would stand out in the Yellow Pages. It worked too.

"You don't know where your partner is?", snorted Muscles, "What kind of two-bit operation are you running?"

"It doesn't take two of us to chase a lead", I smiled, "and I don't like to get in his way. He's damn good at his job, and I hate to upset him". I winked at Madison, who smiled and lowered her head so that Muscles and The Fat Man couldn't see.

"Don't mind Mr Fratelli", interrupted The Hungarian, "He has my interest at the forefront of all his actions". I expected Vadas to have more of an accent, but I guess he's not been home for a long time.

"That must be nice", I replied, "Does he cook and clean for you as well?" To my surprise Muscles smiled at this. At least the guy's got a sense of humour.

"Yeah, I make a mean Eggs Benedict", he chuckled. I got distracted for a second by the thought of food, and I realised that I hadn't yet had breakfast. I brought myself back from daydreams of bacon and sunny-side-ups, and gestured to the two seats on the other side of my desk.

"Have a seat gentlemen", I said, "I presume you're here for something other than exchanging recipes".

"Indeed I am", stated Vadas as he squeezed himself into a chair opposite me. "I'll cut to the chase, Mr Cane. I've been informed that you are very good at obtaining things for people". I raised an eyebrow. To those who don't know, Cane and Able collected debts for people. When people refused to pay their dues, I get involved...for a percentage of the debt. I'm not a thug, and I don't go to their house and make them spit claret until they pay. Everyone has a weakness, and I'm very good at finding that weakness, and exploiting it. To those who do know, I do a lot more besides collecting debts. Vadas was apparently one of those who knew.

Part 3...

The Charming Monkey - Part 1

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The Charming Monkey, Part 1

It had gone nine o'clock when I pushed open the office door. It was unlocked as I knew it would be. Madison always beats me to the office. She's so efficient that it makes me sick. Only because I'm so slack, and I'm sure that this place would fall apart if it wasn't for her. I should give her a raise or something. I shut the door, and turned to walk towards my desk. I was greeted by Madison's cheery voice.

"Good afternoon, Mr Cane", she said sarcastically.

"You know you can call me Daniel, Mrs Parker", I replied, ignoring her weak attempt at humour. I'm not a morning person, and can't understand how anyone can be so chirpy at this hour.

"There's fresh coffee in the pot. You look like you need it, Mr Cane".

She knows me too well, but I guess she should do after all these years. She makes a damn fine cup of coffee too. It'll undoubtedly be the highlight of my day. I smiled at her, and made my way to the back of the office where the coffee pot was kept. I grabbed my blue mug from my desk as I went past. It hadn't been washed for a couple of days, but I wasn't in the mood for cleaning. I needed that coffee, fast.

I poured the dark coffee into the mug, and stirred in some cream and sugar. The aroma hit me as I took a sip. It was good. It was probably her best cup yet. I walked to my desk and sat down on my chair. Madison had already laid the day's post out for me, and arranged them in some order of importance. From the envelopes it looked like that there were no bills. This day was getting better by the minute. I began opening the letters, but to my disappointment there was nothing interesting; a couple of circulars and a letter with information regarding one of our cases. There was a stack of files on my desk that needed my attention. Madison had let helpful notes on them as she always did. I should really give her a raise or something. As I put the mug to my lips again I sat back in my chair and looked out of the window. It was too early to start working just yet.

"Don't get too comfortable, Mr Cane" interrupted Madison, "You have that nine-fifteen appointment".

I closed my eyes and my head dropped. The good start to the day hadn't lasted long. Another Joe wanting me to do his dirty work for him. I shouldn't complain. Clients bring money, and money makes the world go round, and in my case it was starting to slow down. I looked at the clock on the wall; it read ten past nine. I sat back in my chair, and swivelled it around so I could look out of the window behind my desk. Five more minutes to enjoy Madison's fine coffee on such a lovely day. It was quiet on the street below, and there was a definite calm in the air. The lack of activity was a rare thing in this part of town.

As if on cue the tranquillity was broken by noises from outside the office. Due to the age of the building, the floorboards creaked down the hall. I liked that. As my office was the only one in this part of the building, the creaks acted as an early warning for people coming to pay me a visit. Sure enough a two large outlines appeared through the translucent glass of the office door. The door opened, and two men walked in. The first man was tall, around six and and half foot. he had to stoop slightly to get himself through the door frame. He was big, as well as tall. Not fat, but sturdy. He was wearing a suit that was obviously too small for him, and you could tell by the way he was busting out of it that he was strong. If he's the muscle, then who's he hired to protect? The answer was following him through the door.

Part 2...

Monkey!

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I now have a new object on my desk at work. I give you monkey! Not only is he awesome, but he came free with PG Tips, the world's best tea bags (next to Earl Grey of course).

Check out the Monkey in action.

The Name's Bond...

James Bond. One of the greatest fictional characters of all time. I'm pretty sure that at some point in any man's life he's wanted to be Bond. Maybe it's his suave and sophisticated nature, or his confidence, or his way with the ladies. For me, however, it's the gadgets. Yes, I admire his bravery, and calm-under-danger attitude, but I know that I'll never be like that. I can get the gadgets, however.

Take a look at this list of James Bond's gadgets, courtesy of Wiki. It may (or may not) surprise you how many of these gadgets have actually become mainstream products. I was surprised how many I actually own. Well not really surprised, more pleased with myself. Here is a list of Bond gadgets that I own.

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