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type as me

Come sail with me on the empty sea

May 2008

( Monthly archive )

Life's Little Annoyances #160 - Hardback Books

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The new James Bond novel was released this week, and as a big fan of the Bondster, I'm eager to read it. Unfortunately as with all books, it's only available in hardcover for the first few months. I personally hate hardback books. Maybe hate's too strong a word, but I really can't see why you're forced to buy a bigger, clunkier, more expensive version of a book if you want to read it when it is first published.

I understand that some people prefer them, and you can see why: they last longer, and look nicer on shelves. These are purely aesthetic reasons, however, and surely it's the content that counts? Paperbacks are easier to read and more portable, making them more enjoyable. I say release paperbacks and hardbacks at the same time. That way both the paperback lovers and hardback lovers are happy, and I get to read James Bond whilst on the loo.

Life's Little Pleasures #232 - The Pit Of Fire

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I went to a friend's house for a BBQ yesterday, and as the night drew in we got the above log-burner going. It's not really a "pit" of fire, but there's something about lighting BBQs and the like that bring out the pyromaniac in people. Queue quests for combustible materials and chants of "Burn it! Burn it!"

The Charming Monkey - Part 14

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The Charming Monkey, Part 14

Fortis made a feeble attempt to stop me, but as his focus was concentrated on the card being turned over, he didn't see my hand reach toward the monkey until it was already touching the cold metal. Fortis' expression changed in a flash. Gone was the cocky, confident guy that had been bating and taunting me, and all I could see in his eyes was fear. Pure fear. In my line of work I'd seen that look in many faces, and each time I hoped I'd never see it again. His face was drained of all colour, and his mouth was quivering. The card was revealed, and yet his gaze didn't deviate from me. I looked at the card and collapsed back into my chair. It was the three of spades. Vadas let out an sigh, perhaps out of relief, or maybe triumph. I had a flush which beat Fortis' three-of-a-kind.

"Well played, Mister Cane", grinned Vadas, slowly clapping his hands together. Fortis was still pale, and visibly trembling, his eyes focused on the monkey. I looked down, and without realising I was clasping it firmly in my hands.

"I... I... lost?", quivered Fortis, who suddenly seemed alone and helpless.

"Yes", chuckled Vadas, "You lost, and now what was yours is mine." He got up from his seat, and walked toward the table. He placed both hands on the table, and leaned over me.

"Now, Mister Cane", he said in a low voice, "Give me my monkey!"

I was having a hard time taking in what had just happened. The world seemed to be a big blur, and I was having trouble concentrating. Fortis was muttering something to himself as he began slowly squirming in his seat. Vadas began to drum his fingers on the green surface of the table. I pulled the monkey closer to my chest, and tightened my grip. I looked up at Vadas and uttered something that I thought I would never say to the Hungarian.

"No".

I looked at Fortis, and then at Vadas, whose impatient expression began to change to anger. He motioned to Puchenko, who stood up and began walking toward me.

"Give me my monkey, Mister Cane", Vadas hissed through gritted teeth, "as we agreed".

"Not yet", I stammered, still wondering what the hell I was doing. "Not until Fortis walks out of here". Vadas chuckled.

"But Mister Cane, Jonathan and I have some unfinished business. Is that right?" Vadas turned to Fortis, who was clearly panicked. He began to get out of his seat, but was quickly restrained by two of Vadas' goons.

"And unless you want to join in the discussion," he continued, "you'll be wise to comply". Puchenko was getting closer.

"Fortis walks, and the monkey's yours", I said defiantly. "It's quite simple. You get what you want, and everyone goes home happy". Vadas was getting increasingly frustrated.

"You know how this works, Mister Cane", he said, "and your attitude disappoints me. I am grateful for your assistance in this matter, but please be aware that my generosity does have boundaries".

With that Puchenko struck.

Part 15...

Life's Little Annoyances #132 - Waking Up Singing Delilah

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For the second day this week I have woken up and started singing Tom Jones' "Delilah". I have no idea why. It makes me wonder what crazy dreams I am actually having. Dreams about Tom Jones? Dreams about a dangerous temptress who wants to reveal the secret of my mighty strength to the Philistines? Dreams about Weetabix? Maybe it's my subconscious telling me to go ahead and download it onto my iPod. Who knows, but it's certainly an infectious tune that gets stuck in your head! Maybe by posting this, I'll make sure I'm not the only one suffering...

I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAA NA NA
I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAA NA NA
Sheeeeeeeeeeeee was my woman!
DUM DUM DUM DUM
As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind


Life's Little Pleasures #207 - Three Little Lines

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We had our third scan today, and bean finally behaved enough so that we could determine the sex. As you can quite clearly see from the scans (!), bean is a girl! Pip did have a sneaky suspicion that the baby would be a girl, and I have to admit that I did too :D

It's fantastic news, and having got two little brothers, it's going to be nice having a little girl in the family. Everything is fine, and Bean's looking healthy. Though now we know the sex, we probably can't keeping it Bean for much longer. The quest for a name continues!

Life's Little Annoyances #115 - Nice Biscuits

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Today at work, the age-old discussion arose about which type of biscuit is the best. Someone made the (quite frankly) preposterous suggestion that Nice biscuits are worthy of the title. This is incorrect, and the only award Nice biscuits can possibly be eligible for is the "World's Most Inappropriately Named Biscuit", which I'm sure it would win hands-down.

The best biscuit is of course the Malted Milk.

Life's Little Annoyances #99 - The Black Plant Of Doom

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Earlier today I was doing a bit of work in the garden, and I came across this strange plant. Its leaves aren't green, or even brown, but jet black. It looks like a normal spider plant, aside from the colour of its leaves. This brings me to the conclusion that it must be some sort of alien symbiote, which has fallen to Earth and bonded with the plant in order to take over the planet, Venom-style.

I think it's time to get the Weedol...

Life's Little Pleasures #200 - Opera Live Scores

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Opera Mini 4.1 was available for download yesterday, and having been impressed with the beta version, I downloaded it sharpish!

Just before I went to synch my Opera Mini, I noticed that one of the Speed Dials was "Live Scores". Intrigued, I clicked the link, and it took me to Opera Live Scores, a handy little portal that displays the latest scores for a variety of sports.

As one of my main uses of Opera Mini is to keep track of the FUSSBALL scores when I'm out and about, this little site is a lifesaver! I usually use the BBC Sport page, but it's great to have all the scores in a simple, single page. It's now made itself a permanent fixture at number 9 on my Speed Dial.

How long has Opera Live Scores been around? Why have I only just found it? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I demand answers!

Life's Little Pleasures #182 - Opera Koozie

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I love getting post. Even if it's just junk mail, coming home to a door mat full of letters always makes me smile. I get an even bigger smile when the post is from Opera and includes pens, stickers, a card from Espen, AND an Opera Koozie!

I have taken a picture in celebration. Please take time to note the lovely laminate flooring the package is sitting on, which I laid last weekend.

Life's Little Pleasures #175 - Seeing Bean Again

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It's been 8 weeks since we last saw Bean, and today Pip and I went for our 20 week scan. It really is amazing to see Beany move on the monitor, and he/she has grown so much.

We were hoping to find out if he/she is a he or a she, but unfortunately, Bean was not playing ball! As you can just make out, their legs are tucked up, and so it was impossible for the sonographer to tell. More importantly, due to this she couldn't carry out all the tests that needed to be done. Of all the ones done, everything is fine, but it does mean that we have to go back in two weeks to have another scan.

That's actually really good, because I love seeing the baby. On the scan today we saw Bean's little face, hands, feet, and heart. We even saw it sucking its thumb. Well it probably wasn't, but it looked like it :wink: It also keeps to suspense about the sex going for that little bit longer...

Life's Little Pleasures #152 - Beat-Boxing Peter And The Wolf

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Life's Little Annoyances #82 - Carrot Cake

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Someone brought in a cake to work today. Usually this would make me happy, being a lover of the cake, and I would be first in the queue and coming back for seconds (and thirds). I was not happy, however, when I found out it was carrot cake.

I hate carrot cake; it's an abomination. In the war between sweet and savoury snacks, it's a sneaky savoury spy sent behind enemy lines to attack innocent cake-eaters such as myself. Cake should not contain vegetables. Fruit is okay (as long as it's not that traitor tomato), but why on earth would you want to add carrot, when you could have nuts and chocolate?

"It keeps it nice and moist", you'll hear people say. So will more butter - use that instead, and keep the carrot out of it. I've got nothing against you when you're next to my roast potatoes, or with coriander in a nice soup, but if I find you in my cake again, carrot, there will be trouble.
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