Self Defense and Protection

By: Ken Smith, 6th Degree Black, Royal Palm Beach, Fl.

Effective self-defense for women first begins with the mindset and belief in herself that she does not deserve to be raped, harassed or abused in anyway, shape or form. A woman’s ability to recognize impending danger and the warning signs of danger is also of prime importance in reducing her risk to dangerous situations.

So what happens when a woman finds herself in a dangerous situation? Can you imagine what her ability to defend herself successfully would be if she did not have this fundamental belief in herself that she is worth it and does not deserve abusive treatment.

Without this belief structure her odds of successfully defending herself and possibly her loved ones is diminished. With this belief system in place and her determination and commitment to survive she has the beginning foundation of successful defense. With this determination and commitment she now has the next necessary ingredient to defend herself and that ingredient is courage. Courage to stand up for oneself with commitment and determination is a very powerful character trait for a woman to possess but it can only exist if she believes that she is worth it.

Courage is not the absence of fear but how a woman responds to fear. When a woman realizes that she is in a potentially dangerous situation of course fear has the ability to overwhelm her and paralyze her. With courage the ability to appropriately respond to the given situation increases her likelihood of disarming a potentially dangerous situation before it escalates into something physical. As a martial artist we practiced dealing with dangerous situations all the time. By doing so we work on programming our courage response to neutralize dangerous situations. When a woman practices speaking up for herself or others or practices standing up in the face of fear her level of courage can start to grow in the face of adversity.

Courage is the ability to respond to take action which is a proactive frame of mind. This frame of mind is empowering because now the woman is in control of herself and may be able to control the situation. When a woman reacts fear is the dominating emotion and the situation is in control of her. A reactive state of mind puts the woman on the defensive and she assumes the role of a victim and now something is happening to her.

To reduce your risk of potentially dangerous situations practice responding in your own mind to an imagined threat. You will start to feel empowered by your imagined responses and that will help in developing your courage. In your imagination practice taking control of a dangerous situation and notice how you feel. This will help to alleviate the fear based emotions that can overwhelm women in times of adversity.

For more information visit our website at www.VillarisRoyalPalm.com. Master Ken is available for workshops and seminars on Mindful Self-Defense for Women.

By: Ken Smith, 6th Degree Black Belt, Personal Self-defense Success Coach, Royal Palm Beach, Fl. 33411

For women to successfully reduce their risk of assault and to defend themselves against the various forms of abuse, harassment and violence they need to understand that all abuse is not physical. Physical abuse is the most visible for others to see but for some women it is the form of abuse that hurts the least. The other forms of abuse are mental, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Any of these forms of abuse are serious because they attack the person from the inside. The way a woman feels about herself and views herself is vital. Abuse in any form may erode a person’s inner confidence. Abuse then attacks a woman’s feelings of respect that she has for herself and when her self-respect is gone she will often feel powerless.

Abuse against women can take several forms. For example, domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape in it’s variety of forms. The one thing that all these forms of abuse have in common is that they are about power. The perpetrators of these insidious crimes against women often feel powerless themselves often in more than one area of their lives. The man’s desire to gain power then takes the form of “taking” your power so he may gain some. Sexual assault and rape have long been proven to be more about the acquisition of power than about sexual fulfillment. The abuser or rapist looks for the vulnerable, not the sexy.

All women need to possess a belief system in themselves that they are worthy of all the rights and privileges that this lifetime has to offer. Women must view themselves as persons not property or objects. This is a woman’s first line of self-defense in protecting herself and her daughters. This fundamental belief that I am a person deserving of respect, equality, love, compassion and joy is paramount to a strong self-image for women. All other treatment that is not congruent with these qualities in unacceptable.

This new belief system can be challenging to women. For how many centuries have women been the property of men. Daughters were the property of their fathers. Wives the property of their husbands. To this day girls and women are still traded in white slavery. For decades women were taught that they never had to defend themselves in any way because there would be a man there to do it for them. This way of thinking is erroneous and dangerous. Women must have a significant shift in their thinking about themselves and their roles in the 21st century. Women must understand and believe that not only are they worth defending but they must be the ones to do the defending and fighting. Women can and do successfully defend themselves. Statistics show that those women who vigorously defend themselves against physical attack get away.

A woman’s determination and commitment not to be a victim or statistic is more powerful to her that her ability to physically fight. A woman’s attitude that “I am worth it” is a more powerful beginning to real life, practical self-defense than anything else. For this shift in thinking to occur women must first confront, challenge and change some previous belief systems about themselves and the roles they fulfill. There are many ways for a woman to empower herself and her daughters and to realize that there is no excuse a man can offer to justify hurting her in any way. When a woman truly realizes this position, she will truly be on the right road of experiencing empowerment and be a genuine role model for those around her.

For additional information visit Villari's Self-Defense of Royal Palm Beach at www.VillarisRoyalPalm.com.