Storytelling like many other things in life, was once much easier and much for me. I remember this one instance.
It was 7th grade German class and as usually we had homework, which I never bother to do by the way, I always knew even as a child that watching cartoons on German television would pay off eventually and be something more then just hours waisted before a TV screen, anyway i digress, so there i was in my German course, with no homework.
My teacher was a beautiful young
I knew i was the best student in the whole school when it came to German, well actually i would have been if i could spell and write correctly in that darn language. Learning everything of of the TV did have it's price though, i was manly a speaker and not a writer, but that never stopped me, actually it was always good since i could talk myself out of problems i forgot to write about like this assignment. This happened a long time ago so naturally i don't quite remember what the assignment was, but i'm quite sure I do remember what i did once it was my time to present my homework.
The scene was set, my lovely beautiful teacher at her large wooden desk which was always covered by some kind of red velvet like tablecloth, I always hated that tablecloth, i mean it was the only thing standing between me and the sight of her long pale legs which almost always where covered in jeans, blue jeans to be more precise. I on the other hand was sitting at my small aluminum desk, which was a step forward considering that just a year ago i was sitting in old wooden benches, which even my dear old grandma would recognize. I was ready, ready to have my homework inspected, even though i had none, my classmate who said next to me had this look on his face like: "Oh boy, now your fucked", but not me i was smiling, looking straight into those big blue eyes of the teacher.
I think that was the thing that gave me away, since everybody else was looking either away or doing something to "polish" their homework, which they just finished in the break, anyway the teacher looked at me and said:
-Why don't you get up and read us your homework?
It was after all a writing assignment something, we usually got for homework. Stuff like write about your last vacation or what you did this summer vacation. I always wanted to know what she did in her summer vacation, never got a straight answer though, after all i was just a pupil....a kid.
So there i was, being called upon by the teacher to read my homework. I got up, flipped through my notebook to an empty page and started staring at that page, then it hit me. The story, was just flowing from that empty page, straight out of my mouth and into the classroom for everybody to hear, for the teacher to hear. I remember feeling very excited and very happy as i "read" my story, the details are a bit fuzzy but i will bet you a deutsch mark, it was a good story.
After "reading", for about 10 minutes, i stopped i decided it was enough and the paper had given me so much i should not force it and maybe risk failure or stumbling, so i closed my notebook and sat down. My classmate, had a new expression on his face, he changed from:"Dude, you are so fucked" to the more delightful: "Dude, how did you do that?". My lovely blond haired teacher was also surprised she like what i had written and wanted to give me an A for it. I say wanted because, what she did next shattered any chance i had at an A.
She asked for my notebook......
This wasn't part of the plan, i thought to myself, in my mind this could only go one of two ways, either she would see the empty page and gives my an F, in which case i already had 5 A's so i didn't care or and i was hoping this could be done, i could talk her out of giving me a grade and just move on with class. So i got out of my plastic chair and went over to her large wooden desk, leaned over, put my hand on the red velvet tablecloth and said in a very calm and silent voice:
-Teacher, i don't think i deserve an A, why don't we just continue by listening to someone else and see if they don't deserve it more then i do.
The teacher was moved, i could see that, by my honest statement but she wanted to give me another A since i wrote such a nice story and more importantly i think, she wanted to see how many grammar mistakes i had in my written story, since she knew that i could correct those on the fly when i was reading/talking.
She cared, she knew grammar was my kryptonite and wanted to help me, she also knew that i was a lazy bum, who would rather talk the talk then walk the walk and do his homework, so there was no way in her mind that i could not subject my homework to her scrutiny.
I for one was hopping she would not unmask the magician and reveal that i had kept the bunny up my sleeve all this time, but my hope was futile, she opened up my notebook and started searching for the story i had just read. Once she finished flipping through all the pages, she asked me where it was and i calmly replied:
In my head......
She was lost for words, a first i might add and not very good think to be if you are a german teacher or any other kind of teacher. She was clearly upset, but at the same time she was also fascinated by the fact that i did pull a rabbit out of hat, even though i had no rabbit and no hat. She sent me back to my seat and that was the end of it.
It was the perfect crime and i would have almost gotten away with it,
Hope you enjoyed my little story, i might be long, i might not make sense at some point or another, but one thing is certain......you stuck around to read it so it must have it's good points.
Grammar is still my kryptonite, i wish i still knew my blond german teacher, with those incredible blue eyes and those incredible legs, so we could catch up and spend an eternity figuring out the correct way of writing in german. she might be the only one who could explain to me what's up with Der, die, das