shoehorn's brooding grounds

i didn't bake any corn muffins but christmas dinner was still a delight.

so what's there to say about 2009? it's all a bit of a blur right now, really. the year sort of just blew by for me which i think is mostly a good thing. time flies when you're having fun, right? if i was having a miserable year then surely things would have felt prolonged; as if time were in a bit of a standstill. seems that's how i always distinguish between my pleasant years and my not-so-pleasant years. that's how i measure it.

to think that another decade has already passed, it makes me wonder sometimes about the things that i've taken for granted, or opportunities missed, you know, just whether or not i've lived up to expectations at this juncture in life. my parent's expectations. my expectations. lol, there was a time when i thought that, at this age, i'd already be married to the love of my life and working for the canadian space agency or some small department concerned with the search for extraterrestrials. must have been a naive 11 or 12 year old then. i suppose the idea wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility. i mean, things like that have happened to other people. go a little earlier, when i was 8, i fully expected that i'd be driving around, or flying around i should say, in a hover vehicle by 2010 thanks in large part to my discovery of an anti-gravity machine. that one....not so realistic. and if i could go back in time to pinch my 8-year old cheeks and pat him on the head while smiling in a patronizing manner i'd do it in a flash. kids are allowed to dream big. they're supposed to dream big.

but instead i find myself, at 26, doing another degree and being far too busy to maintain any sort of healthy relationship with a significant other. and that's perfectly fine. that's my choice for now. guess i'm just saying, or trying to say, that things don't often turn out the way you think they will. and maybe that's just part of the ride. but what if the ride could have been a little better had you made a different choice last week? people always say that there's no use in looking at all of these what-if scenarios. me? i'm not entirely convinced. i don't think you should get bogged down by events that can't be undone but there's no harm in looking at the past if it aids you in making a better decision in the future. afterall that's essentially what i intend to do as a statistician. making future decisions based on past events. so what does the future hold as far as i can tell? my ambitions are simple enough. finish school to support my family. that's the only thing i truly care for at the moment. anything else i will take in stride.

so i was watching kung fu hustle for the nth time the other day and i've gotta say that opening dance sequence is quite something. so much style packed into one scene.


also, the scenes involving the mute girl were very touching. strikes a chord right here. *taps chest*

wow, just as i had written four months ago, it really was an interesting summer for me. probably the best i've had in a long time. the best since childhood, come to think of it, when i was 11 years old and me, my older brother and a few of our friends found a neat hideout in the field by our house which we aptly named the apple-tree base. we had bon-fires and hid high up in the trees as people walked through the tall grass with their dogs completely unaware that they were being watched by a bunch of kids. we felt like spies at the time, and thought we were so cool with our home-made slingshots and bow staffs, lol. no summer has matched the sheer fun and care-free essence of that particular one some 15 years ago. until now.

it all began at work where i met an amazing group of friends with whom i feel i've established a life-long relationship with. we had lunch together everyday and occasional coffee breaks in the afternoon. i don't like coffee so whenever i'd tag along, i would opt for an ice-cream bar instead. the turtles bar and the super fudge bar being my main choices because they had the highest taste-to-cost ratio as far as i was concerned. but the real fun happened outside of work hours. when we went canoeing and paddle-boating on the canal, saw the tulip festival, went to the museums, caught a show at the national arts centre, stood together in awe of the canada day fireworks, hiked and went caving in gatineau park, the poker nights, the movie nights, bluesfest, the salsa dancing, the drunken dancing and nunchuk weilding lol, and most memorable of all - the bus trip over to montreal to visit the amusement park, walk around that great city and then climb up mont royal in the humid heat for a breath-taking view of the city lights at night where upon during the descent i caught a firefly in my hands! i didn't even know we had them in canada! boy was i ever excited. but now that the summer's over, it's back to school and almost everyone has gone their separate ways. some are in vancouver, some are going back to germany and the others are closer to toronto. at least a 5 hour car ride from here. i've been feeling pretty lonely just thinking about it. how much i miss them. and i can't help myself from looking forward to next summer when i hope that we all return to statscan. i don't think it's going to happen, not everyone at least. but i'd be satisfied if we're all within driving distance of each other. for now though, perhaps if i bury my head in the textbooks and just concentrate on math, the queezy feeling in the pit of my stomach will go away? i'm banking on it.

had a blast at my brother's wedding a couple of weeks ago. got the chance to see a lot of great friends who i hadn't seen in a very long time. it was supposed to have taken place outside but unfortunately, it was raining off and on throughout the day.