monday ruminations

ramblings and ruminations after sunday service and hard training!

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Taipei international marathon 2010

It was a long journey to the starting line.

More than 3 months of focused preparation and logging kilometers early Saturday morning at East Coast Park, CCAB running track puking interval sessions and some tempo runs at the cemetery off Bukit Timah.

This race was also my redemption race after disastrous Desaru !/2 ironman.

Well that is another story.

I was following the First running program with some modifications on my own. The program worked on a 3 quality sessions a week with cross training sessions in between sessions.

It was less of a pressure to get the training in. with only 3 sessions, I was able to still coach and have a life. But still it was not easy, being without a team or club, I trained alone at times but most of the time I have friends, ex students and even strangers whom I met at raining sessions to pull me along.
Some mornings were harder than the rest… excuses were always at the back of my mind but friends and looming PB (personal best) but most of all ego; encouraged me on.

What makes you get up at 5am in the morning to prepare for a 32km run and actually run them at a specific pace? I would like to say I like running so much... or God inspired me to give my very best in all things that I do… or 41 year old trying to fight against the degeneration of body especially decrease of VO2 Max… a goal that is not too lofty but requires time and effort which mean I need to engage different resources to achieve it.

Maybe it is all of the above.

the 9 weeks program after desaru was quite a test.
I was nursing a foot injury sustained at desaru and gave me quite a scare but Thank God it healed with rest and med.
Some days I looked forward to rain to cancel training, some days to the exhilaration of completing the workouts.

Come the 3 weeks of tapering before the race was like the tapering for the biggest show of the year for me. It seems like the whole year; this is the only race that I really prepared for. Really feel the recharging of my body for it.
Did 21km standard chartered Singapore marathon as pacer as part of my preparation, and 10km tempo and the last long run of 16km run 3 days later.
That really did me in. back spasm from running too many km in 3 days. This time I was real worried, I went for physiotherapy sessions, take medicine and did all the usual injury recovery treatment like hot pack, IS belt and rest.

I always tell my athletes to have a race plan, this time I have one with pace and with the Garmin GPS cum heart rate monitor, I could really try to stick to it. Given the no other information available like course elevation or drinks station, I can only loosely come up with pace and carry 2 packets of gel with a flask of concentrated isotonic liquids.

I used the usually compression tights and top, the hand held flask with same nutrition. It was show time with every run a dress rehearsal.
I am as ready as I can be with my little training and injury prone body.

What I did not expected was the colder than predicted weather when we arrive at Taipei. With the late flight, we only get to sleep at 2am+, and sunrise rising at 6am made sleeping in impossible.

Only when we picked up the race pack did we know the elevation of the course, and surprise! There was a climb at the 32km to 35km of more than 400m. I need to run a little faster to make sure I can afford to walk up the hill.

Race day morning, all 5 of us got up at 5am to get to race site at 6am. We had powerbar and bread for breakfast. Waiting in the 12C cold with our running gear was the biggest challenge apart from the last 10km of the run.
Without much fanfare, the race started.

YL and QX ran with me at target 6.15min/km pace and, Don went ahead with his sub 5min/km pace. For the first 10km, according to my Garmin, we were ahead at 6.05-6.15 pace. I actually have to hold myself back! On the course, we looked real slow! There were guys who ran with their dog, older runners who wear cotton tee and shorts, a Singapore runner who ran 3 marathons in the last 3weeks and this is his 4th who was taking pictures all the way (we have our pictures on FB…) and running clubs who ran in battalion formation and holding a flag each on their left hand all the way at 4.15hr pace.

The real test was the 32km mark with the uphill. I walked up. Forget about being hero, there is just the fear of cramping up and will be dealing with it for the last kilometer. Patience…

My running partners wanted to walk.. and walk. The running club with the flags caught us at the uphill and that was it. The last 10km was trying not to finish too far from them. Even times like this, ego can still are motivation enough.
Mixed between running and walking, our pace dropped to 6.45min/km. with the early gains, we are still on target.
Last 3km, PB is now or never, I sent my running companions off at the 39km to run at their own pace. I lost YL instantly but still see her back. Last 1km, and still on target for sub 4.30hrs but down the tunnel and up from it just 600m from the finishing line was a cruel!
I had to walk up despite the target time looming closer, my calf was really tight.

Once up I just ran, the last 600m or so was the fastest I could muster at this point.

Crossed the line and meeting my friends…
Only checking my watch and confirming the results online, I knew I did it. Not in the most dramatic fashion and little to spare at 4.29.15 hr.

Thank God for everything, the weather that was warmer in the last week, the people who I trained and ran with, the people who cheered us along, no misshaped in nutrition or hyrdration and the opportunity to bring the best out of myself.
this timing would not be possible if not for the great condition; With the much cooler weather and lower humidity, we stopped only every 5km for drinks and maybe isotonic. Total we made 8 stops and drank 1,6L of fluid and ingested 400 calories there about. that at least save us 1min for not needing to stop for drinks and nutrition.

Recovery was massage, lots of food and shopping! Of course a new pair of sneakers that give relief to my aching feet from all the mid foot strike running.

Xiao long bao best recovery food smile





PD triathlon 2010 - so long overdue...

it is like writing about history.
i am not a nostalgic person, rather think about what i am going to do next than to reflect on the past...
maybe it is fear of revisiting my failures.
future is about hope, hope for the future.
a better future.

24 july 2010 8am Port Dickson.
last year i DNF with a flat rear tyre at 15km into the 40km bike leg.
with fresh new tyre that was on the road for less than 20km!
but it was a great feeling to have finished this race.
with friends and ex students.

it is different this year in PD.
every race is different.
same course but you are not the same athlete, same person when you last raced the course.

what so different?
i am older.. ok that is like everyone.
i don't have enough training (is it not like my refrain every race i entered?)
i am a little overworked.

the trip up was ok, a little too early for my liking.
the company.. apart from my students, i think it was just a bus trip.
with them, it was bonding and sharing.
That i remembered fondly; the junk food session after race in A&W, the sharing of jitters before race...
the chat and bantering.

all these make each race an experience unique.

the swim was uneventful... the usual splashing of water etc.
but the times leading to the race... was nerve wrecking.
for the first time since a long time ago...
i was technically unprepared!
my rear wheel cog-set was loose! only realised after i got to PD and found out what caused that very loud noise from it.
scramble around for the tool to tighten it but not even the bike support has it!
tried to borrow ...

race day
had breakie
cleared my system but still feels like going all the time!
went down to set up transition.
felt so out of it..
so alien
then... wanted to go warm up...
i forgot my swim cap!!!
rushed back to take.

reached the beach and ...
chatted and posed for pictures with old friends.
there are people u only meet at races.. take photos that you will never get to see... but oozes of warmth and love every time u meet.

the race was like the other malaysian races,
splashing arms and legs, for PD the swim is usually longer...
bike rolling hills, non drafting usually mean non drafting when someone screamed at you or the race officials come around to check.
packs were formed... as usual, i am too slow and not motivated to get into a pack.
just roll around at my merry pace.
the run was usual not spectacular but at least was cloudy and flat.

it was a good nonetheless for OD
but
chan chee seng's race is never accurate; usually too short!
2.51hr with bike at 1.21hr and run 56min

thank God that i did not DNF from anything
and
i still enjoy the training and racing despite of the fact this could be my 10+ race in PD since 1992!






singapore biathlon 2010.. a bit late.. but better than never.. wink

there is a perfect excuse for procrastinating in posting.
i am have ENTJ (extrovert, intuitive, thinking and judging) personality.
one who looks to the future and not to the past.
since the race already happened..
ok it is a little lame but...

the race itself was great fun.
the usual jitters of pre race, coupled with self doubt from the lack of training due to my 2 weeks mission trip in cambodia where the only physical activity was cooking for the team and trying to keep cool.

tried to sleep early, eat stuff that my tummy would be happy to have.
no visualization nor written down race plan.
(this is not something i would suggest to anyone especially my students!)
it can be ranked as one of my most ill prepared 'A' race.

my good friend came by to pick me on race morning along with his family.
we started early but there was jam on the expressway and no parking at race site.
after circling for a while, he kindly ask me to go the race site first while he went around to look for parking.
walking briskly to register and getting all anxious due to time...
it was my no specific physical warm up but only warming up to the idea of racing warm up!

got down to the business of wishing everyone a good race, looking for familiar faces among the crowd to catch up...
10min before the start of our wave, the veterans and female all waited at the 'pen'. on the command of the starter, off we go!
this year the swim was great!
for once, it was slack tide... no strong currents that pushed us off course smile
of course the usual flinging of arms and kicking to your face by other equally if not more anxious competitors was there. all of us were jostling for space to swim, to turn at the buoy and draft the slightly faster swimmer. the other qualms this year is the jelly fish and sea bugs! got it on my face and arms. thank God there was no allergic reaction from it.

exciting the water to the transition area... what i mess i made...
dropped my ear plugs so i had to slow down and picked them up. knowing that i might not come in to any podium position so better not lose any more stuff!

the start of the run was ok, no pushing by people who think they are elites and racing against the elites where we need to be aggressive to get to the drinks at the station...
just that the guys especially the eventual winner sped past me (he started 10mins after my wave) by the 2km. it was a sign of a long day...
the weather was getting warmer, i was running within my capacity but not really pushing.
times like this i asked what was my motivation...
my friend the mother of 2 who was in front of me.. the swimmer who now looked and trained more like a runner...
my target and goal.
i tried to close the 200m+ gap for the whole 10km but to no avail. when i was less than 200m from the finishing line, i heard my friend's name being called. i tried to summon the last bits of strength to race back.
6th position for the veterans, top 30 among the ladies and PB.
but just missed out on the prize.

i must also admit that my heart and soul was not completely at the race.
i did not want to push that hard.. not like the marathon nor even 2009 race.
even if i put everything on it, it might only be a 30s or 1min difference but it makes all the difference in effort!
the desire for excellence that pushes you might only mean so little in reality but it does much more for your mind and soul.
it is about knowing and trying and not just about achieving.

for all my friends who trained for this event, you know what effort you put in...
and pray that you gave all you have to said 'well done!'

hell on wheels - dvd review

once again, i am holed myself up at home watching dvd over CNY (i know it is long over... just that only now i have the energy and time to blog about it..)

i have always been interested in sports, all sports and cycling got a special place in my heart.
i would see tour de france more than a bicycle race but a showcase of voluntarily suffering, teamwork, sacrifice and physical poweress.
this is documentary about the Tour de France bicycle race directed by German filmmaker Pepe Danquart (who won an Oscar for best live action short film in 1994). this amazingly insightful and intense documentary covers all aspects of the 2003 edition of the Tour de France.
there were no the usual how great Lance Armstrong is and how he should win everything but it was about another team in the tour featuring one the best cyclists in the world; eric zabel and rolf aldag.

the documentary tracked them from the beginning of the tour to the end, it showcase the people who worked behind the scene like the 'butler' of team who massage and look after all aspects of the team including food on and off bikes. they even function as counselors.
the passion of the fans and biking community were astounding, waited for hours on the alps just to see their heros shoo pass them in minutes, the lobbying for their hometown to be used rest stops for stages...
and many more.

you only read about some of these accounts but here... you see it up close and personal...
the team tactics that require some to sacrifice for their team leader, to run errands and put your ambition and ego aside.
riding through great pain of broken collarbone, road accidents and broken dreams.
the estsacy of victory.

but there are also the quiet moments ...

the self confession of eric before the camera made us realised how human they are no matter how insanely they can ride their bikes in this 2500km of mountains and alps tour. the self doubt that every athlete has, the fear of aging, the desire to be the best once again are just some of the emotions they confronted with ever so often.
they are human after all.

TRAC discipleship program - TRACKERS 2010

this is the first time that almost the whole team is involved in a project together.
there was a lot of uncertainty and rubbing each other the wrong way, but there were a lot of fun and surprises in seeing the other side of the people.

many things happened during the program but notable events would be the mission trip after 6 weeks of learning and self discovery in PLMC. the 4 teams of 31 youths and 8 leaders went for this 11 days trip to the nearby countries to teach english, help building project, lead worship, preach the gospel and generally try to be a blessing to the people there.
due to the lack of information and communication on the areas of ministry, most of what we prepared where not used during the trip. however many of our skills were tested and we discover gifts that we never thought we have!

we did not get to execute our dance nor lesson plan
but
we get to teach english to a young people who are hungry for change and improvement in their lives.
we were able to share our lives with our testimonies
we have chance to clean and dress the kids who have lice on their heads, wear clothes that never seems to be clean and drink well water that were not as clean as the water we used for washing
we get to see the smiles on the faces of the kids.

and we helped the missionaries to plan ahead, the curriculum for the next 16 weeks and buy washing machine for her.
we saw not just the urgent needs but the importance of thinking ahead.

in the midst of the discomfort of working and sleeping in the heat, the daily routine of hand-washing our laundry and cleaning the english training center, difficulties of getting things done, we appreciate the comforts, the clean government and love of our families back home.

we give them less than what they gave us, in many ways and all ways.
we learnt more than we planned or imagined.

what is your respond to it?


bomb it - the documentary drama ... on graffiti as art and nuisance

bomb it is slang for graffiti -fying
bomb the wall, 'draw on the wall'
now i know...

was trying to get some entertainment for the holiday season from the library...
all the anime that i was interested was out .. and left with documentaries...

so i am left with

Bomb it! - the movie

it is a 3 years labour of love of writer/director Jon Reiss that spans over 5 continents.
it is a balanced work or dialogue between the graffiti 'artists' and the authorities and activists.

you can read all about it at their website
http://bombit-themovie.com

the arguments from the artists
1. public space so we should be able to express ourselves there.
2. the buildings are ugly so we are just putting colours on them.
3. we are not hurting anyone in the process.
4. we need to express ourselves, you took away art in school, make it so inaccessible, where else can we go?
5. it is the only way to get the message out (what ever that message could be...)
6. it is a rite of passage, my way of proclaiming my identity.
7. public space needs to be reclaim by the people, now only the rich has the money to buy space like billboards ads.

from the LA graffiti artists from gangs who started from 'tagging' or 'writing' their names in childish scribble to the more elaborate and decorated art as expression to the political activists in south africa, these reasons come across in different volume and tones.
the need for identity, to be heard in places where youth, the poor and marginalised has no voice.

but for those against graffiti...
1. the 'broken window' theory by George L. Kelling and Catherine Coles argued for relationship between crime and disorder. and graffiti is a sign of dis-order. people feels that there is little order here and therefore believed that their 'crimes' will be less likely to be stopped by authorities. so clean up the graffiti, stop the petty crimes lead to lower crime rates.
2. public space is what we shared, who dictated what is yours and what is mind? who dictated that your 'tagging' is art?
3. when you 'tag' you claim that this is yours and you can do what you want with it. it is no different from robbery.
4. first criminal act that anyone can commit that will lead to more serious crime.

at least these are what i gleamed from the documentary/movie.

but what was striking was the difference in philosophy between the 'artists' from different culture and countries.
the amercians was all about we doing what we want, no one should stop us. freedom of expression...
the japanese was expression to that saved the lady from killing herself.
the south africans was all about political voice
the french about giving meaning to space of another era...
there were others trying to use 'murals' to spread the message of environment

but all of them have thought about why they are 'writing'. it is more than an act of bravo. they have given it much thoughts..
and had spent time and effort honing their 'craft'/

you respond to your context in different ways...

i may not agree with their philosophy but i respect their drive to act even though at times i think it is narcissistic to think that you alone can do what you want.

some were welcomed, some injured.. hurt deliberately for it.
but like all men, expression cannot be curbed.
it changed its form from markings in caves, cravings on pyramids to graffiti.

wonder whether if they have God, they are secured in their identity, the expression maybe less 'in your face'?

my marathon 2009, new PB!

It has been a great ride getting from thinking, planning, rallying people.. and executing the program.
i have been using the FIRST running program since end august for the December 6 standard chartered singapore marathon.

i have never really trained for a marathon, and in my younger years.. long time ago when pager was THE technology...
i think marathon is just too long for my body. i would only consider it much later in life. the only caveat for running one is to prepare for ironman or doing one.
so this year, after my very long messy affair and still on-going nasal inflammation, i decided to shoot for a more management training schedule that will allow me to rest more.
not that marathon was easier but the FRIST running program and settle on a 3 day running with 2 day of cross training worked out fine for me.
i also wanted to do something more than just racing, for the first time i wanted to use my coaching for something more.
i decided to create a running coaching program to raise funds for Yong-en care centerhttp://www.yong-en.org.sg/

that.. did not turn out as expected but i still managed to raise $500 + $500 at the end for myself. i was hoping to get others to join the program but maybe next time.

since late aug, the group has been running on tuesday night and sometime thursday night at CCAB or bukit timah track for intervals and tempo run. those were tough sets and all of us were running within our own abilities based on times projected from our 5km best time.
saturday morning were reserved for long runs. we started with 16km and gradually increased to 32km for the last long run and we started our run at 730am and slowly moved it to 6am.
fort road car park which used to be deserted at 6am were 3/4 filled closer to race day.

we were dreaming of ice cold 7-11 super big glup in most runs...
and xiao long bau buffet for our post race celebration.

14 weeks of training, with 3 weeks of taper.
and race day.

for the first time.. (i know .. so many first), i stayed over in a hotel (the high class one near the race site) before the race to avoid the stress of getting there and find toilet for the last minute 'lightening' of extra load.
it was a great idea until we have a room mate that snore rather too loud to rest well.. and 4am visit by other runners from the team...

ate the usual pre race meal of power bar, protein power, prepare gels and salt for the race, nervous chattering, silent prayer...
445am, we made our way to the start line..
and the long queue at the only entrance to the start pen delayed our start. YL, QX and me started almost 4 min later than gun time.

it was hard to run from behind.
many of the runners were so slow and it was just the start of running ahead of the slower runners.
first 10km was uneven pace with slower runners, heart rate drifted from 140 (my target pace for the fist 10km) to 150 and we managed to run past the 530 pace setters. the eating and drinking were ok so far; drinking the water supplied and supplement with the salt and gel.
hit the 1/2 marathon at 2.24.
it was disappointing as i was closely following the markers but they were off.

the 3rd 10km was getting harder, i has getting tired and anxious about the pace being too slow to make the 4.35 that i was aiming for.
YL was getting tired too.
and at one point, we took a 200m and 4min detour for crap break.
maybe it was not that bad...
resting the legs at the meantime.

32km at fort road was the defining moment, can feel the fatigue setting in. not faster but heart rate higher.. cardic drift...
and with the hoards of people started walking, i was tempted.
even though at every drinks station, i will stop to walk towards it and walk a bit before i resume running, this 35km mark, i walked for 4min.
that is it...
after that i did ran almost all the walk back but i no longer feel so light.
heart rate has drifted past 165 and into my red zone. the pace just don't justified it.
not enough endurance runs, need to run them harder and not just to finish the distance.
at 5km... the merging of the 1/2 marathon and the 10km strollers, i kind of gave up chasing even the 4.40 target.
the effort to side step them, avoid the obstacles were just too much.
the pain was getting unbearable, i was crying silently inside. the old familiar feeling of the last 5km at ironman...

the run into the chute at the last 200m was nothing too spectacular.
gun time 4.49hr
official chip time 4.44.25hrs.
new personal best!
the last time i ran marathon .. the singapore one 5.12hr in 2006, 5.15hr in western australia ironman...
i was hoping to do better since i calculated from my training runs and last 32km that i could finish 4.35hr...
well even the great weather that God has provided can't make up for the bad pacing and lack of intense long run.

it was my best effort for this distance..
was so tired that i lie on the grass patch for a good 15min before i struggle back to the hotel to wash up and ice bath...

thank God for everything.. for training partners.. (thanks to YL, TH, Don... and others who make occasional appearance) for my friends who accommodated my reduced social involvement and energy to do many things, for FIRST running program and for the donations for Yong-en that make this run so much more meaningful.


i am a zoukout virgin no more smile

i have always wanted to go to a beach party.. one that has loud music, in the open air (no need to suffer 2nd hand smoke) and beach wear!
this year finally i can go without feeling guilty that i will stumble others.. even though this is a perfectly legitimate event and whatever happen there can happen and will happen most places in a less sandy setting...

got cheaper tickets, some ex students to this party event of the year.
as expected there were loads of people; all in beach wear and party mood. bare torsos (time for the polo boys wannabe to flaunt their chiseled body), show skin.. digital camera were working non stop. people posing more than they were dancing... at least not within the dance arena.
and people were drunk before getting into the venue... wonder what are they here for.. not like the drinks are cheap (not expensive at $8 per vodka red bull) but so diluted...
it was sponsors galore;
volkswagon (don't know why they are there...).,
singtel (title sponso trying to connect with the younger crowd)),
red bull (how can they be not there... it is a party and at the beach for 12hr+ !),
nokia (try to promote their ovi store but no special apps for zoukout.. i am sure iphone might have jumped on it if they are paying good money to be there.. how much to develop an app when a 4 year singaporen boy can do it...)
Heiniken (they sponsored Green Room DJ sessions so right place to be but apart from the VIP tent.. nothing.. )
and maybe some others that i did not notice.

it was really party atmosphere; rides on bungee thing and wheel, wave house opened and people trying to ride on the artificial waves along with tunes from Pet Shop Boys and the Mambo stage.
women on stilts and rather... costume of dubious origins
free popcorns and candy floss
and 5 stage of music!
local and overseas DJ.
not forgetting the crowd ... all ready and some already..

events company thankless task; strict security check!
ID, metal detector... burly bouncer type walking around...
hurling drunk revelers out, first aid tent for those injured at Mosh pit, having too much of a good thing.. wonder whether all these temperate habitants can handle our 100% humidity and 30 degrees heat ...
and lots of cleaners trying to clean as we party; paper cups, confetti, trash of unknown origins.. can't imagine the morning after...
definite non green event.

highlight for sure is the music experience
loud unadulterated music! drum and bass, house, trance, mambo (or retro 80's 90's.. stuff that some of us danced to in our growing up years.. eeeek)
all bathed in laser lights with giant video walls as backdrop.
the space is gorgeous!
some stage more gorgeous than others.. with huge muscle bounded speakers and 1 stage with 2.1 speakers only..

maybe i am getting too old for this.. or just impatient
2hrs of techno, industrial and drum and bass.. you can only do so much with the bass line. richie hawtin did a good job but seriously it feels like cooking instant noodles, how different can you cook it?
miss kittin and the hacker was a change of pace but her whiny voice was good for some songs.. only
we waited for Armin Van Burren to show up .. his set was scheduled at 5am.
we thought maybe it was a marketing poly to get people just to stay and maybe he will come on stage earlier..
NO!
he came on at 5am!
we waiting, chilled, danced, sat on the beach to rest.. till 4am.. before we moved in to the arena A for Hawtin and then Armin.
He is the number 1 DJ for 2 years in a row, and many are here to be wow by him live.
the very international crowd; thai boys on my left, aussies in front of me, india chaps in their 30s at least on my 2 o'clock... were all just bobbing expectantly
it was electrifying when Armin came on. i really pity Hawtin for his thankless task of warming the crowd for Armin... before he stepped down, the crowd was shouting 'armin, armin'
he is good but he is not what the crowd wanted...
armin spins a more melodious line of music (at least that is how i felt...) and a listenable trance with lyrics..
he did a great job but again spinning the same tune (he got so much stuff but only wanted to showcase 1.. ) with 5 different style of mixing is a little too much.
overall his set is still the best. maybe i should have venture to hear the electronic music arena.
the 'beautiful' music continues.. with intensity and volume.. and sun rises..
an experience of awakening to the new day with it..
wow with low silent hues...
wow with awakening light

nice...
10 hours of party... coming to an end.
last chance for pictures all round.
even my party of 4 has loads of videos of ourselves doing silly things (thankfully it is the 2 men/boys...)

might not do it again since i am too impatient to listen to 2 hours set. a good mix of everything in 4 hours will be just nice:)
time to do my own mix in the comfort of my room with lights dimmed?
but it would not be the same without thousands others dancing along to almost illegal volume with wild abandonment of tomorrow.
the energy and the excitement is what the rest come for..
and certainly for me too.

the comments below are personal reflection of different genre..
1. people used to come to be seen.. to party.. but today seems that it was more important to have their pictures taken. everyone come to party with a camera .. or camera phone. cam whoring in the highest level! but cam whoring is not restricted to parties.. where ever people gather. reflection on the need of significance of self?
2. music brings people together. the intensity and energy of everyone singing along to the same lyrics.. very powerful in a non spiritual way. worship for any faith may have the same impact and greater with the added spiritual dimension.


song; the wonderful cross... can i sing it as what wonderful electric chair?

this morning at church, we were singing this familiar song by chris tomlin ' the wonderful cross'

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

i don't know about you but it was rather oxymoron to use the term wonderful for an execution device.
but in the christian faith, this murderous device is the most wonderful thing, it is the very thing that torture and inflicted pain to the vilest of criminal in Greco - Romans times but it is the very thing that brought about the event that give salvation to all of mankind henceforth.

the death of Jesus was fondly remembered as the very act that initiated redemption of all mankind from the consequences of sins.
only catch, you must believe.
it is not given to anyone but just the believers but anyone can be a believer.

so you want eternal salvation?
free...
just need to believe...


post desaru... trying to balance nasal inflammation and the desire to train and race...

it has been a few weeks since i did the desaru sprint
and 2 days since army half marathon

training for desaru was a battle of my health and my desires; how to strike the balance.
i had this nasal inflammation that has been bugging me for the last 2 months. there were really bad days and some better days.
i always feel this need to train but when i am down with bad inflammation at my sinus area, i sometime pushed through it.
there are days that i just gave up and rested.

but i never fully rested or entertain the thought i would not race the long course desaru triathlon race.

i can't ...
i wrote the training program...
motivated a bunch of people to train for it

and my ego simply refused to acknowledge the possibilities...
but maybe
just maybe i am also trying too hard to prove that turning forty is just ... a context to frame my life now.
nothing that will impact my physical health.

i am still the same physical person.

of course i am wrong.
i don't recover as fast as before, i needed more sleep than ever.
i have injuries in places that i never knew existed

i forget stuff

and i can't recover from this nasal inflammation!
better but not 100%

after the not too positive 1st triathlon race of 2009 in PD
i gave in to reality, i decided to not do the 1/2 ironman distance (2k/90/21k)
but the sprint (400m/18km/2km)

i must say..
it was fun!
there was little stress and loads of energy to cheer others and enjoy racing again!
battle of the ego took a turn too
beaten by a 12 year old and 50 year old at the line.
came in 4th for veterans... to who ever still did the race the day before and wanted to win more than 1 medal..

only have pictures, memories to show for the race...
but great memories smile
reconnecting with old friends, ex students enjoying malaysian hospitality.

the battle still rage on for my nose.
2 bouts of chinese bitter of 14 doses each only cleared the mucus from dark yellow to clear but it is still blocked.. from 3 packets of tissue day to maybe 1 or less now.

what else can i do?
rest more..
i did..
take vitamins?
i taking multi vit, omega 3 and probiotics
sleep more?
about 6-8 hours a day
keep out of public places...
humm.. maybe don't work??

times like this..
i feel like it is exercising faith in God
there must be hope that i will be better
and i can be
patience and allow God to speak to me at this time...

hope by the next post, i am cleared from it.. after 3 months!