My OperaMore than 2 yrs from my last post
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 4:52:23 PM
Such a familiar theme. See the last 2 posts.
I guess I have to update myself abt things that have happened since and the reason why I picked up the pen again. More time to think and less things draining my energy.
Back in 2006, I was a newbie to the exciting world of finance. I was involved in the very new, very innovative field of securitization. That was something MQ did not teach and somehow I stumbled into an area which seemed interesting and I thought I could build my career around it. That was not to be...
People will remember the global financial crisis in 2008 that left big banks begging their govts for money and support and resulted in high unemployment and distress for many in the working class. I was similarly affected but in a drawout kind of way.
From my work in securitization, I got to understand abt subprime loans and CDOs. These were complicated and highly customised financial instruments that even seasoned professionals made the wrong call on. My career started off quite inauspiciously then. My first real manager left the firm in Oct 2006 to pursue a start-up opportunity as a specialist fund/private equity. Subsequently, I was promoted in Jan 07 to a senior level, despite not having any 'real' experience or interest to be promoted. Work pressure built up. I thought I could handle it. Evidently, I can be overly optimistic.
By Dec 2007, my other manager left on a sabbatical from the firm, citing family commitments. Before he left, he said, "Try and look for a job outside. Securitization is not coming back." Being me, I liked his honesty and respected his views. At the same time, the firm was stagnant with no new projects and work was too routine. My difficulty with one particular analyst gave me severe heartburn and poor health plagued me the whole yr. I had to get out one way or the other. It was driving me crazy.
Around the same time, in the US, people were struggling to pay their home loans and defaulting in every greater numbers than anticipated by anyone. There was an article in the NY Times which I remembered that haunted me. A single mother took her life after she lost her job and couldn't keep the roof over her head because she was given bad advice to apply for a subprime loan. That placed a human face on the work I was doing and the consequences of being a part of the industry. I had to get out of securitization.
An offer came in July 2008 to go into proper research for fixed income. I jumped at it though I had little experience in the cut-throat world of capital markets. I figured anything is better than here. And if it didn't work out, fine. I was still going to go anyway. 2008 went by in a flash. I traveled to NY for work. Recognition from my bosses was gradually trickling down and again I was promoted in Jan 08. As such, it magnified the dissonance I felt daily and reaffirmed my resolve to leave. But again senior management beat me to it. That's right. The head of securitization left to join a rival firm just around end Jan 08. Shock and disappointment just floored me. Still, I had to put on a brave face and life had to go on.
When I accepted the new job, I knew that it will be challenging and not very stable because it was a new function within the bank and I would have carryovers from the first job I ever had. I didn't figure how tough it was going to be. Not just the lack of support from Head Office, the demands from different stakeholders of the bank and my over exertion in wanting to do my best. 2009 was the perfect yr for the storm to hit.
On my first trip to Frankfurt, it coincided with the weekend of the collapse of Lehman Brothers. You can imagine the mood sombre and traders were telling me how the world is going to end. Their version of events emphasized the unthinkable action of the Fed to let a major bank fail. Pray what hope does the smaller sized ones in the world stand. I understood their anxiety and left them to it. I was supposed to be on a training trip and yet, the person in charge of my training failed to come to work, citing an old recurrent back injury. That, and my one and only contact with the Bank's Head of Research left me cold. No respect for Asia. It did not surprise me then the subsequent events that followed.
As always for banks managed with razor thin capital ratios, they were in talks to merge with another bank to create a super-sized class of their own. I suspected regulators would not be pleased with this and probably made it known to the board of directors. The merger fell thru and heads rolled. First from management and later, they announced a 10% cut in the workforce. My name was on that list because Asia is not that important to them and they are more ready to axe new hires than long serving staff.
The taste of rejection is not a pleasant one. It stinks and everything I had worked hard for was dismissed just like that. I will tell people who asked the truth but it will not be without a sting on my part. As a matter of pride, how could it not? When I read abt the bank's cost cutting program, I had hope that they will rescind it but that faded each day as I edged closer to the date I am supposed to leave the bank, 31 Dec 2009.
Now it's 23rd Dec and it is confirmed a done deal. I leave the bank on the 28th Dec officially. It took a lot out of me to swallow my pride and hang on to the last 6 months to an organization that did not want me anymore. I have collected my thoughts and planned out possible future routes, all of which involves me not to be a vulnerable position anymore. I'll start my business and try to squeeze much of all the business ideas I had over the yrs. My lesson from this: Turn the power of positivity into building a strong mind that overcomes the toughest obstacles.
As the yr draws to a close, I am no longer waiting in the wings. I want to fly...
I guess I have to update myself abt things that have happened since and the reason why I picked up the pen again. More time to think and less things draining my energy.
Back in 2006, I was a newbie to the exciting world of finance. I was involved in the very new, very innovative field of securitization. That was something MQ did not teach and somehow I stumbled into an area which seemed interesting and I thought I could build my career around it. That was not to be...
People will remember the global financial crisis in 2008 that left big banks begging their govts for money and support and resulted in high unemployment and distress for many in the working class. I was similarly affected but in a drawout kind of way.
From my work in securitization, I got to understand abt subprime loans and CDOs. These were complicated and highly customised financial instruments that even seasoned professionals made the wrong call on. My career started off quite inauspiciously then. My first real manager left the firm in Oct 2006 to pursue a start-up opportunity as a specialist fund/private equity. Subsequently, I was promoted in Jan 07 to a senior level, despite not having any 'real' experience or interest to be promoted. Work pressure built up. I thought I could handle it. Evidently, I can be overly optimistic.
By Dec 2007, my other manager left on a sabbatical from the firm, citing family commitments. Before he left, he said, "Try and look for a job outside. Securitization is not coming back." Being me, I liked his honesty and respected his views. At the same time, the firm was stagnant with no new projects and work was too routine. My difficulty with one particular analyst gave me severe heartburn and poor health plagued me the whole yr. I had to get out one way or the other. It was driving me crazy.
Around the same time, in the US, people were struggling to pay their home loans and defaulting in every greater numbers than anticipated by anyone. There was an article in the NY Times which I remembered that haunted me. A single mother took her life after she lost her job and couldn't keep the roof over her head because she was given bad advice to apply for a subprime loan. That placed a human face on the work I was doing and the consequences of being a part of the industry. I had to get out of securitization.
An offer came in July 2008 to go into proper research for fixed income. I jumped at it though I had little experience in the cut-throat world of capital markets. I figured anything is better than here. And if it didn't work out, fine. I was still going to go anyway. 2008 went by in a flash. I traveled to NY for work. Recognition from my bosses was gradually trickling down and again I was promoted in Jan 08. As such, it magnified the dissonance I felt daily and reaffirmed my resolve to leave. But again senior management beat me to it. That's right. The head of securitization left to join a rival firm just around end Jan 08. Shock and disappointment just floored me. Still, I had to put on a brave face and life had to go on.
When I accepted the new job, I knew that it will be challenging and not very stable because it was a new function within the bank and I would have carryovers from the first job I ever had. I didn't figure how tough it was going to be. Not just the lack of support from Head Office, the demands from different stakeholders of the bank and my over exertion in wanting to do my best. 2009 was the perfect yr for the storm to hit.
On my first trip to Frankfurt, it coincided with the weekend of the collapse of Lehman Brothers. You can imagine the mood sombre and traders were telling me how the world is going to end. Their version of events emphasized the unthinkable action of the Fed to let a major bank fail. Pray what hope does the smaller sized ones in the world stand. I understood their anxiety and left them to it. I was supposed to be on a training trip and yet, the person in charge of my training failed to come to work, citing an old recurrent back injury. That, and my one and only contact with the Bank's Head of Research left me cold. No respect for Asia. It did not surprise me then the subsequent events that followed.
As always for banks managed with razor thin capital ratios, they were in talks to merge with another bank to create a super-sized class of their own. I suspected regulators would not be pleased with this and probably made it known to the board of directors. The merger fell thru and heads rolled. First from management and later, they announced a 10% cut in the workforce. My name was on that list because Asia is not that important to them and they are more ready to axe new hires than long serving staff.
The taste of rejection is not a pleasant one. It stinks and everything I had worked hard for was dismissed just like that. I will tell people who asked the truth but it will not be without a sting on my part. As a matter of pride, how could it not? When I read abt the bank's cost cutting program, I had hope that they will rescind it but that faded each day as I edged closer to the date I am supposed to leave the bank, 31 Dec 2009.
Now it's 23rd Dec and it is confirmed a done deal. I leave the bank on the 28th Dec officially. It took a lot out of me to swallow my pride and hang on to the last 6 months to an organization that did not want me anymore. I have collected my thoughts and planned out possible future routes, all of which involves me not to be a vulnerable position anymore. I'll start my business and try to squeeze much of all the business ideas I had over the yrs. My lesson from this: Turn the power of positivity into building a strong mind that overcomes the toughest obstacles.
As the yr draws to a close, I am no longer waiting in the wings. I want to fly...
