Saturday, 29. August 2009, 09:36:47
This is My ChanceI've got a feeling...a really bad feeling about something I'm not quite sure of. Are they both lying to me? What's wrong with the excessive consideration and the secrecy? It seems so frightening, and I'm afraid to make any simple mistake. After what happened to me the past two years, I wouldn't know what to expect. Smiles and laughter may deceive easily; and obviously, I wasn't aware of that until he came along. O.K. Fine... I may be somewhat exaggerating through speech, but I can't find any other way to put it. I'm just scared, and I don't want what happened in the past, to occur again. I don't want to feel helpless or vulnerable to anyone, like I had been to him.
I don't understand how people would dare doubt me and question my loyalty, while I shut up and watch them break our trust. Maybe that's my fault. I'd rather be quiet, somewhat avoiding the cause of any problem or misunderstanding. I don't want or intend to build up any hatred or revengeful feelings towards anyone. Could someone just explain to me what I've been missing through all my investigations of these past months? I'm sick of this! I just want to start a new page; fresh ink of all good and bright days! I want to be myself and not fear anything that hould happen to me, from what possible mistakes I have committed. I want to get you out of my mind and out of my heart...because I can't love you anymore. I need to let go of you, the past, and the hope of you coming back with tears in your eyes.
I want to breathe a free, pure heart.
No more of your confusion & disgrace.
I need to live now & forever...
Friday, 26. June 2009, 06:30:26
Oh, Deception!
Thou care’st not about me.
Thou self in vain…does not expect to live.
Thy heart-beats pump through veins and eyes.
Of mine, which feel and see the same.
Thou love is doubled to feel.
Thou intentions caress with thy thoughts.
And thy words that sing aloud…
Fill not of tears, nor blood.
Thyself accepts recapture…
Fear of thy soul, caught.
Yesternight serves accompaniment of pain.
Thoust cries and lies shall hurt not.
Breathe not of sorrow and darkness.
Cry not for love and suffering.
Seducing guilt rescuing thoust fate…
Seep silence ‘til morrow.
Thoust hope drowns in solitude.
Thy trust…to dust, it fades.
Thy patience through good and bad…
Exchanges hate with thou, thy disturbing fate.
Oh, you deceive thy life so perfectly!
Oh, you love thy advance in pain!
And as thou, sun, rise to gaze upon thy face…
Thou kissed me cold in the rain.
Thursday, 16. April 2009, 21:47:28
Air and Ashes
~A Contemplation of Mind~
Faded hopes crashed, entwined within the shifting movement of the hesitant, mechanical bird. The wind blew strengthening its voice, growing into a howl of desperation, as if fighting a pair of angry fists. Moments of suffocation and panic took over our acquired, ongoing decision of travelling. Excitement was replaced by fear, and our smiles twisted into frowns. “Air! Hold onto my hand,” I ordered my little sister, protectively.
I couldn’t help but feel the number of my heart-beats decreasing by tempo, gradually. I could hear everyone screaming, not for their fears but for their lives. What is going on? Trails of an earthquake were left in my head, pounding every single, rolling second. A shower of sharp pebbles smashed into the jet’s windows, assuring me that we were at risk of grave danger. I tried humming my sister into sweet, optimistic thoughts and struggled to convince myself that everything would be just fine. With this poor, first impression of our trip, none of light dared to protrude through the dull window shades. “Wait here, Air. Wait here! I’ll try and…” I shrieked, scared of the escalating gravitational speed. To a passenger’s seat, I flew, after the jet deliberately shook hands with the grounds of Ashes Island. A new silence was born, erasing all former qualms and expectations.
I woke up to the rhythmic waves of the enraged ocean that I laid next to, after that severe, painful crash. Fluttering butterflies of smoke caused everyone to cough, as if a replica of my brain choking on racing, unanswered thoughts. “Venido junto…”called out my Puerto Rican father, “Venido junto.” “Sí, Papá,” I forcefully replied. My body slithered across the rugged sand, trying to reach the destination of where my father’s voice originated from. I felt little, soft hands embrace my wounded shoulders; it was Air. I opened my eyes, and her face was lit with glowing care and concern. “You have come to help me? Lead me to Father.” I asked of her, “He calls for us.”
Father’s expressions drowned in worry, and guilt crawled up my spine. “Oh, why did I have to recommend this unfortunate trip?” I murmured to myself. I managed to slip a flashback past my thoughts, reminding me of my absent mother and our tour-guide, Faith Sonnet. With Air’s help and a sigh of relief, my tired eyes were finally able to meet his. “Papá, where is Mama?” Air asked curiously. “Mama is at the site of the crash, looking for a first-aid and survival kit. Though, do not worry about her. She’ll be back in a few.” Father comforted us, truthfully.
Thankfully, I was assured that Mama was safe. But how was I brought safely on the beach? Where was Faith? If she was hurt, we would all be condemned into a lost sense of direction and familiarity to this new, uninhabited surrounding. Too many questions were overtaking my shadowed patience, and it was my turn to swarm Father with these uncertainties; “Papá, I was awakened by the sounds of the waves, near the beach. It is not exactly in my highest expectations to be there resting, without flying out of the jet. Off your knowledge, do you recall how I laid there?” My fogged understanding of his answer proved that he was the one who had carried my sister and I onto the shore, leaving us to breathe, away from the suppressive air.
Light filtered into the burning sand, and my hopes drooped like the fronds of a palm tree. I decided to head back to the breath-taking beach, to take a break of thought. Heavenly skies of emerald and sapphire embraced the constant, battling waves. In spite of all the plentiful, surrounding scenery that I would usually cling to by heart, my stubborn soul would not allow this beauty to intervene or break through this overwhelming barrier. Has civilization and development completely disappeared from our lives? Would I ever be able to touch the keys of my piano and play the soothing pieces that I adore? Or would I be forced to listen to the natural racket of the outdoors?
With these thoughts, I had been carried away; but that did not deprive the reality of being on this deserted island. Mama had returned with some canned, preserved foods and a first-aid kid, as a minor source of survival. I found no way to express the relief and security that I felt as she came closer, towards us. I couldn’t help but thank God that our family was united back together, safe and sound. Father had called out for a family gathering next to the shore, to occupy each one of us with certain tasks to keep our survival tactics above all success.
“Air, roam around the area to find some dry grass and firewood. Mama, do your best to find some matches within the kit.” insisted father, “And as for you my eldest, accompany your sister for safety precautions.” The day darkened as we went to our duties. Worth the while, Papá was determined enough to construct a little tent, by using abundant, thick twigs, and scraps of cloth, tools, and other necessities from the crash-site. With the camp set and the fire blazing, we sat mutually watching the miraculous sunset kissing the lips of the horizon. Twinkling stars gradually appeared, scattered across the vulnerable sky, as pure as the white pearls on a bride’s dress. Awaiting nothing but peace and tranquility, my heart could not respond but sink into the slumber of a new start.
~A Discovery Within Nature~
I had awakened to the fulfilling feeling of the warm sun’s rays, tickling my skin, peaking through the far horizon. Gentle singing of the foreign birds and the sounds of the delicate water meeting the shore, had welcomed my early morning with a pleasant expectancy of the day. I could not resist the tempting greetings of this grand day, convincing me to awaken the rest of my family. “A perfect day to go hiking, it is. Maybe to get a little more fun and adventure…”I said after grabbing onto Father’s arm. All agreed with energized smiles, like they were gathered for a marathon.
In favor of exploring the extended lands of the abandoned island, Mama and Papá packed up a little food, a blanket, and two canteens of water. We firmly decided to undertake the mystery of the hike, escorted by the thrill of our quest. Step by step, the elevation of land had increased through difficulties and positive challenges. Solid rocks enlarged within present cracks in the ground, creating natural diversions into the unknown. This was no longer a high distance from the ground, but a true, enormous mountain. A few steps away from reaching the top of the mountain, I yelled, “Air! Be careful! Watch out for the cliff!” She had slipped off down the gorge, beyond where my eyes could reach. My heart stopped beating at that moment as I screamed out for my parents. “Air’s gone! Mama, Papá…quick!” Disastrous reactions were all we expressed. All we could do was search and call out for our precious Air. There was no chance of locating her. As our tears slowly started shedding, and as we gave up hope, the sound of footsteps was set to crescendo.
Air’s cries rang like a bell; she was alive. But how? Horrid feelings of mine burst like furious thunder bolts. Who helped her up that gorge? It just wasn’t possible. “Señorita Faith! You’re alive! This cannot be. How? Where have you been all this time?” Regardless of all the questions and worry that our almost-loss had brought to us, it still could not measure with the extent of happiness, thankfulness, and the admission of one, beautiful miracle.
Our sudden miracle had given us another chance of completing our journey to the unknown, especially with the help of our tour-guide for direction. Mama, Papá, Faith, little Air, and I carefully climbed up the mountain, to reach one, unexpected discovery. “This cannot be! No!” exclaimed innocent Faith, “I had never been told of such a wonder!” For some diligent reason, Faith stood there with a surprised, dumbfounded look on her face. “Smoke…on the other end of the mountain? This is impossible!” she continued. I could not bear this tension any longer, and was destined to ask her, “What can you not believe? Tell me, quickly!”
That inquiry was pointless as indications of a tragedy arose within soon instants. I looked up to see smoke arising from a single origin. My family had noticed many animals running away, and birds flying further away from the same area. “Run! We are doomed!” I addressed, “This is the unknown!” One conclusion comes to mind on a deserted island of ocean and sky…a volcanic eruption!
Leena was awakened by her dear father. “No! No! This cannot be my fate!” “Calm down Leena… It was just a nightmare. You’re perfectly fine,” her father reassures her. It was just an adventurous, suspenseful dream…
Sunday, 8. March 2009, 15:55:33
This Love, It Drowns
Eyes in black I see, glaring back at me. Something has been planned to be done to me, something dangerous, but beautiful...something painful but careful...something that would take away my breath and breathe passion back into me. I would be at a situation of risk, with my heart beating to the rhythm of a Native-American drum. I would be grounded of feelings, but alerted through actions. You started...and so, you started. How gracefully you started. Standing, we were in a room of white and light. Emotions of attraction grabbing your hands to pull me deeper, deeper into love and passion. I blinked and so I was pulled by your forceful, but sweet hands. Into the black and darkness was what was defined. A lock and a click was all I could hear...flashing thoughts and silent fantasies. A finger I felt, touching my hand. A breath I felt, being blown, dancing around my neck.
One second, two seconds...three. Gradually, I decide to breathe. A decision, but I am suddenly pushed, and hurt, standing against the wall. Silence, emptiness, the dark, and no chance of being pulled out... Please don’t try, I plead. Please do not do this. For I am scared with a shared heart, pounding. But I listen to no answer, and close my eyes. I wait. None of music, none of racket, none of footsteps I sense. This is too sudden, and you breathe on me. Soon your pattern in breath increases. Quicker. Quicker you breathe. I drown. Quicker you breathe.
There was always a connection, always attraction...I knew you believed. You took my hand, claimed it soft, and placed it under your shadowed shirt. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t feeling. I was blank, speechless, blent with the atmosphere contained within silence. I hear you breathe, feel it so warm, and start breathing. Quickly... Quickly... I move my hands further up, feeling your hidden warmth. You come closer, closer with your body... I breathe. I want to scream. No more. It’s too much, but you carry on.
Take my hands away from your body, you did...knowing that I was terrified. My heart was jumping out of fear and I almost cry in truth. Blush in crimson were my cheeks and my ears. Shivering whole way through, were my fingers and my feet. I want to scream. Get away from me. But you grab my arms, and hold them tight...firm against the strong wall. What do you intend to commit? Should I be afraid? Should I start running? I breathe. I start to scream, but you come near my body, place your sweet lips near my ear and whisper me to stay quiet. Hush...you whisper. Hush... I scream. I bite on my lips as you start to touch.
Wednesday, 11. February 2009, 19:45:17
Breath of Excuses
You supposedly breathed all hope into me and left me without a sound. Trembling is what I was accustomed to, bearing all the change. Your tears are captivated in distant words, that my eyes will never see. My heart has been moved by your thoughts, by your feelings...Though I remain distant. I remain silent. I remain by my lonely self, waiting for a chance to return. Maybe, life could inject me with love once again. It may remind me of how beautiful our life was. It may convince me that I wasn't mistaken, that I wasn't a fault from the start. I want to run away. I need to run away from the words, the thoughts, the feelings, the intentions, the gifts, the symbols of meaning engraved into my mind. Missing hurts, especially missing the admired person present. Time becomes your priority when trying to over-rule a passed hope, to ignore a sucked-in love.
So, should I let go, and leave the ocean's waves to complete my hollow feelings? Am I true? Am I free?
Or would you try to understand?
Tuesday, 20. January 2009, 20:57:41
A Transition of Realiziation
The realization of you being away makes my heart break. The love that you somewhat committed, I start to force myself to forget. You do not understand how weak I feel, carrying all this load on my heart. You do not comprehend how hard it is to reveal that you have left me after all. I wish for at least seconds to look into your eyes. I beg for minutes to tell you how I feel. But I have no say... I remain silent, afraid, craving to love you like I did. But I don't. I can't lie to myself anymore. I don't yearn to be your baby. I don't cry to be your woman. I know where I belong, and it's not in your arms. I need to stay away from you, safe in someone else's arms. I remember when I used to wait for you to come. I knew that just seeing, just looking into your eyes would make me feel so safe. But I was proven wrong, and you just took it all away. You used to always be there for me and admitted that you knew that I wanted to cry. I simply admired this knowing, kept quiet, and smiled all the feelings I knew I couldn't describe.
I would have wanted to thank you, but your heart was too pure for my words. I formerly needed you to hold me in your arms so I could cry. But you dared to rip this page of us, and replace my truth with your lies. I took in all the pain, accepted. I made it seem so normal, as if unaffected. But it is obvious, how much I had to go through. I still did not try to break your heart into two. I know that I was misjudged, and that I did not deserve that untold truth. I felt so close, just like an important part of you. Was I? Am I? Does my heart exert any love and consideration? Or did I show my negativity? But I believe that I did give my best. I believe that I could be a person that a man could not resist. Someday you'll understand. Someday you'll know that I was the only one to lend you my hand. Someday you'll see. One day you'll remember why you thought you always wanted to be with me. Accept me for who I am and leave. You took a decision and made it "your" form of right. It was your loss and your innocent mistake. I do not want to call our past love fake. It was felt, and it was real. I knew I felt your lips, your hands, and a heart that touched my soul. It was real at some point. I know it was.
~ ~ ~
Memories laugh in my face, though I do not laugh back. Thoughts tell me to move forward, while feelings tell me to go back. It's the heartbreak I consider as an attack. The only truth I failed to see was building up inside of me. All I do is ignore and fail to seek what I try to endure. The memories believe in me, but I can tell that you don't. I guess that you were never really willing to help me know where I stand, who I am, who I will be. I just wish that I'd surely by time, be me. I do not want to act, lie, or cheat. Your love was enough of a sign to help me realize what should be feared. May have ingraved in me hope, but as you left, you took away every existence of it. I do not want to say goodbye. But as I write, I begin to understand that my far predictions were never right.
Sunday, 4. January 2009, 13:14:41
Reason vs. Faith
History Assignment Due: 09. 11. 08
Brought up in the past and the nearest present, thesis “reason vs. faith” has always been considered a major concern. For a various amount of explanations and opinions, this thesis will remain as a mind-gripping social and personal argument. What are the advantages of reason? What are the positives of faith? Which has more of an overlapping, stronger impact on everyone’s daily life?
As people grew more accustomed to the basis of knowledge, acquaintances with reason has expanded from seconds to centuries. Reason is the talent for discovering, characterizing, and assimilating the facts of reality and life. Reason is the art and flair of knowing things. It is the first and foremost tool of survival; a weapon against uncertainty, guessing, and misconception. Arm in arm with morality and commitment, reason is used to discover the truth of the universal mind and essence. Philosophy lives upon the generosity of reason, growing into evaluated perceptions and theories.
Separation of faith from life is almost impossible. Every choice we make either comes from faith in something or someone. Otherwise, it may rise from the roots of unbelief and distrust. Faith permits us to become over comers, not only triumphing over the flesh of the world, but also overcoming the devil. Only faith can repel the enemy. This opens more doors to safe and secure decisions, choices, and lessens the qualms that live on life. Consequently, when we lose faith, we leave ourselves vulnerable for the devil’s ferocious attacks. With the belief in, devotion to, and trust in somebody or something especially without logical proof, strengthens the self-determination of the believers within heart and soul.
Confusion takes over the spirit of life when contemplating which is more important and withholding a greater importance. Which is more worthy of becoming the primary importance, reason or faith? Which gives human existence more significance, knowledge or belief? Basically, when a thinking and gathering of facts in regard to understanding and credence is obtained, there is a strain of the unification of doubts and legitimacy. When trying to reach a state of belief, reason is required to organize and ease the basis of a person’s first and final verdict. On the other hand, faith is essential to relieve the distress of finding a solution, taking a decision, or simply making a choice.
From all that is said and proven, reason and faith are both accessories to the input and outcome of life’s diversity and mystery of purpose. Each alone stresses on the incompletion of a guessed and assumed verve. So it is probably more logical and better judgment to combine both factors into one. A balance of everything in life is what gives the chance for everything in the past and present to be gradually revealed. And with no doubt, if the determination and positive curiosity of human beings carry on, a merging of reason and faith will sketch the nearest future of constant rebirth and escalating maturity.
Wednesday, 17. December 2008, 11:36:19
A Dystopia of Judgment
English Assignment Due: 04. 12. 08
Heat was all I felt. Screams were all I heard. I slowly tried to open my eyes, but it felt like glue was attaching both of my eye-lids together shut. They were tightly closed, as tightly as a peasant holding on to a precious stone. Distant seconds approached as my pupils met the flashing rays of the dominant sun. My bottom lip stung as I licked off the first few warm drips of blood, warm as the waters that I glimpsed at from far ahead. But what am I doing here? What has happened? Smoke had entered my lungs reassuring how internally stabbed I felt. Coughing acted as an interlude towards the symphony of confused cries for help and desperation. Get up I tell myself. Get up Aida.
My balance was initially supported by the palms of my sore hands, leaning within the burning, uneven alignment of the sand. I pulled myself up enough to be crouching on both of my knees; the right knee attaining more pressure than the left. A view of a blank-blue sky assured solemn waters of a meditative rhythm of the waves. Though, I could have sworn that I felt something pull me closer, down to the ground. It was neither physical nor mental instability. It was the emotional distress of an unknown feeling. Was it the feeling of loneliness? Was it the exclusion of memory? Or was it the combination of the panic of the others stranded and the screams that I have been screaming in my head? Where have all the sweat, blood, and tears come from?
There was not a second to waste. Desperate screams do not exactly resemble the courage of the melodies sang along the way. Though, I could tell the similitude of their shrieking voices. Was that an indication that the voices could be coming from the same people that were with me on the plane? The plane! Too many questions surpassed the limitation of my logical ability at the moment. As I stood, I sensed fire flaming. It arose with the merging of black horror, red blood, orange perplexity, yellow devastation, and white qualms.
I would take a few seconds of optimistic rest, maybe to help me daydream. A mirror would be reflecting the filth powdered on my cheeks and the wrinkles caused by the fatigue tinted under my eyes. It would be like glaring goggle-eyed at a historical, faded photograph of a lost, delusional, little fourteen-year-old girl. The inhaling and exhaling of her weakened heart would stress on the thought that she was craving to understand what the matter was, as if diving into an upcoming war. I shook myself out of that disturbing picture, and tried to comprehend the possible mix of imagination and reality. What is going on? I hear someone moaning a pure moan of sliced diligence to sink in the pain.
I tried my best to walk as quickly as I could, as big of steps possible. There was actually only one person present at the nearest-view. He was tall, tan-skinned, with eyes of emerald green and hair of curled, nail polish-black. The I.D. tag that the flight attendant gave each one of the passengers before the plane took off was put in his pocket. It read ‘Eric Mathews.’ With all honesty, I felt like my knees were disjointed and if possible, every ligament would ramble, one after the other. I tried my best to provide help, “Eric, it’s Aida. I’m gonna…I’m going to get you out’a this, all right? What hurts?”
My right shoulder was placed under his arm to gradually pull him up without him feeling any pain or agony. As he stood tall, leaning on my forced shoulder, we walked sinking our toes into what was a mixture of scattered, sacred shells and grasses of ashes. Trails of red were left behind after every one of our steps, blood plopping in an unattained rhythm. They remained as plentiful as a trail of a hound’s footprints; a poetic form of depression in a phase and an age of social reviving. Smoke swarmed the currents of the wind with fluttering, black butterflies. My need of gasps for air increased as quickly as the staccatos being played on a keyboard.
Step after step, heart-beat after heart-beat, Eric and I stopped at a nearby, continuous river. Rocks tumbled down the hesitant hill as the very last stones splashed into the water; and he started, “Aida! Move…now! Get out of the way!” He pushed me harshly as I hollered, “What is the matter with you Eric?” All of a sudden, with a millisecond of nothing but silence it rang as a broken bell “Boom…!”
With my heart dangling off of the highest cliff, fear took over my every breath. Anger conquered every seep of blood rushing through my veins. “Eric, we’re on an island. Eric I’m sorry.” I admitted. He replied in a very forgiving but vague manner, “It’s all right. Aida, pull me up. I can…I can see shadows behind those distant trees ahead.” Once again, we started and kept on walking towards the silhouette of the tangled trees. I guess Eric and I weren’t the only ones in panic of the loss of self-actualization. Amanda, a short, blond-haired girl approached us, supported by her one and only brother, Michael Brady. Michael, with intoned sea-blue eyes resembling his sister’s gently seated Amanda down on the ground and was heading our way.
Slowly as Michael took every determined step, my memory began to ooze back into reality. The four of us were on our way to an advanced I.B. research project oversees to study the fruition of specific rare plants. “Hey! Is that you two over there? The plane went down and so did Dr. Hope.” Michael yelled. “What?” Eric and I screamed in alarm. Immediately facing the facts, that meant that we were on our own, responsible for each other’s needs, safety, and collective equity.
The sun dimmed, fading into black. It was simply just the four of us; Eric, Amanda, Michael, and myself trying to base our survival on everything, from logical facts to survival methods given to us through Maslow’s Pyramid. For food, we picked a variety of berries, blackcurrants, and nuts spotted on close by bushes. Eric, as a benefit of going to summer camp, was able to fish for food. Michael and I went through the brushed forest to pick up a mess of twigs, leaves, and branches to burn for a warming fire; While Amanda helped lift our spirits up by singing us the tunes of our music class’ orchestra. This routine was repeated day after day, hoping to regulate our way of life once again. But who said that disasters could be completely avoided? “Eric, I’ll get the fish today. You can go with Aida and get the fire ready.” stated Michael. In a voice of domination, Eric replied, “I don’t think so.”
A fire of brutal prejudice and jealousy swarmed the beginnings of cooperativeness and harmony. Unexpectedly, the four of us split ourselves into dawn and dusk, so diverse but both with one goal. With Michael and Amanda as the dawn and Eric and I as the dusk, we compelled the act of surviving.
Isolation, loneliness, and feelings of guilt and pain augmented throughout every day of the week. “Eric, this is absurd. I am extremely worried about Amanda…and truthfully, about Michael as well. Let’s go and check on them.” I suggested. “What’s the point Aida? I bet Michael wouldn’t even dare look at me in the eyes anymore. I do feel bad, but I know that I didn’t say anything wrong.” He continued, “Aida, I am not mistaken.” We decided to go looking for them, apologize, and stress on the fact that the only way we would survive with security, satisfaction, and serenity was to stick together.
The most obvious place of rest, despite all the cold and dry air during the nights was the seashore. I felt so tired, so stressed. My fingers resembled provisions of a frosty night, being intoxicated by the misguiding of our path. Eric was nervous, and I could tell by the hairs on his back, standing up like a bundle of the thinnest needles. There was a minor beam of yellow light aiming at us, as if a gun being aimed at us targeted by a laser. Blocking our view stood Amanda and Michael, eyes glazing at the sight. It looked like an outline of a ship, faded black with streaks of pale and navy blue.
The four of us stood side by side, as if waiting patiently for a miracle to happen after wishing on a shooting star. Iridescent feelings condensed with our sallow faces and crimson cheeks. “Eric, Michael, Amanda…what is that?” I questioned with fear overcoming my heart, pounding as repetitive as the beating of a Native American drum. Was this ship our way of rescue, or could it be a faction of privateers yearning for more territory? “Guess we’re not alone,” Eric said with an aura of fright.
Monday, 1. December 2008, 04:46:17
I Love & Loved the Way
You are my lover…my only love. I must be the luckiest girl in the universe to have you as my man. My love, it’s so hard to breathe when I look into your eyes. God bless that green and blue with highlights of black and white. I loved the way you looked at me. I loved the way you stared me down. I loved the way you followed me. I loved the way you teased me like you were hunting me down. I loved the way you projected yourself. I loved how you always told the truth. I loved the way you held my hand. I loved the way you wouldn’t let go, even after a minute or two. I loved the way you tricked me and that sneaky smile you’d put on. I loved the way you treated me, the way you corrected me when I was wrong. I loved the way you taught me when I didn’t know. I loved the way you praised me for all my work on the right road. I loved the way you called my name. I loved the way you whispered in my ear how much you loved me.
You are my husband…my only hope. I’d want to post you in the sky as the brightest star. I’d want you to shine your love for me, more beautiful than a shooting star. I love the way you jump around, hyper but kind. I love the way you evaluate everything, from everyone’s thoughts to everyone’s cries. I love the way you write, with your delicate fingers so determined. I love the way you read, your mind focusing, alerted. I love the way you look at me from far away, and smile. I love the way you appreciate me more than every while. I love the way you kiss me, as your lips touch mine. I love the way you sink your tongue within my cold lips, sucking in all the life. I love the way you ask me if I am all right, making me feel like a wife. I love the way you symbolize so much, for a meaning of such few. I love the way you tell me that you love the way I look at you. I love you when you make me feel special. I love you when you take all the loneliness away. I love you when you are yourself. I love the way you love me.
Friday, 7. November 2008, 19:36:52
Don't Leave
People only stopped and stared.
But I knew that you weren’t one of them.
You looked at me…
So deeply I would want to sleep.
In your arms I feared…
I’d never be able to weep.
You made me want to cry.
You made me want to hide.
You made me want to laugh, and joke, and smile.
When I thought that I was alone for life…
You came and changed this thought of mine.
I felt like an angel in your arms.
Baby please…don’t leave my heart.
You used to talk to me, and told me I meant your life.
You told me that I owned your body, heart, and mind.
I couldn’t breathe.
I felt you holding on to me.
But something’s distant here.
I feel you breaking me.
Forgetting everything…
So sad, upsetting…
That we’ve to spend all our time like this.
When I thought that I was alone for life…
You came and changed this thought by time.
I felt like a wife in your arms.
Oh Baby please…don’t you…
Break me or leave me…
I can’t stand the pain…
If there’s one thing I’d remember…
It’s that you wouldn’t dare hurt me.
When I thought that I was alone for life…
You came and changed this thought by time.
I felt that, my husband so caring, so strong…
Would be my, protector from now on.
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