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Diane Solver

" a heart that has a firm faith will not be frightened with obstacles. For it knows well that God's love will not abandon those who trust in HIM. "

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about me

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Thanks for viewing my blog!


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I write

There are things that you cannot turn back the way it was. When you already lost it, then that was the time you'll realized that it is worthy.. That you came up with the wrong decision.. That you came up with the wrong one..

We cannot turn back the time. I hate frustrations. I hate disappointments. I often commit mistakes. And I hate thinking about ''what if?''. I hate thinking about the past. My English teacher in 1st yr. told me not to get tired of writing. When my brain is filled with nonsense things and when I can't stop thinking about it, I write. Just to throw all my thoughts and feelings in a paper. This is the only way that I can shake off everything. My fears were gone, my disappointments can be vanished.

Yeah, all I can do is this nonsense thing. I'm not a writer, but for the sake of mind peace.. I write.

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A man and a barber

A man and a barber talking:

Barber: I believe God doesn't exist because there is suffering in the world.

The man didn't talk to avoid arguments. The man went outside the shop and saw a beggar with long hair. The man went back to the shop and said to the barber:

man: You know barbers don't exist.

Barber: I'm a barber, how can you tell that we don't exist?

Man: If you exist, there should be no one with long hair.

Barber: They don't come to me that's why they have long hair.

Man: Like God, people don't go to Him that's why there is suffering.

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I asked God...

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said ''no''. He said it was not for Him to take away but for me to give it up.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said ''no''. He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation. It is not granted. It is earned.

I asked God to grant me happiness. And God said ''no''. He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked God to spare me pain and God said ''no''. He said that suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make handicapped people whole. And God said ''no''. He said that their spirits are whole. Their body are temporary.

I asked God if He loved me, and finally God said ''yes''. He gave me His only Son who died for me and I will be in heaven someday because I believe. :smile:

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A Reflection on Psalm 16

Lord, be close to me for you are my God. Only Your nearness gives meaning to my life; for You are the God of my life. Those who want to live in your presence will know the meaning of love. I will never run away from your presence. The very thought of it makes me unhappy. Lord you are infinitely loyal. You hold my life in your hands. I will thank you again and again for your undeserved attention. Your great love has made me all that I am. You will never abandon me. My heart is filled with your greatness. I have never felt such deep peace.

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Unheard

I'm longing for a single touch. For a tight hug which I dreamed that you will once give me. I'm longing to be in your arms, be kissed by your lips and feel your tender love as you watch me sleep all night.

I dreamed to be with you all the time. To hung out ang spend some time together as you try to talk about things that I couldn't understand. To look at your eyes and show my innocent smile as feedback. I know you'll be happy to hear me laughing as you tickled my delicate skin. And how I try to squeEze your fingers unforcely.

I want to hear you sing some love songs for me until I fell asleep. How your melodic voice can break the stillness of the night. I want to feel the warmth of the blanket. The softness of the pillow and how your hands touch my forehead until my eyes closed unknowingly. I know you will care a lot and I can only give so little in return.

I'm really excited to see you! And while I'm waiting here inside, I will do my very best to hold on tightly. I want to experience walking in the grass. To run as far as I could! And to eat all the foods that you will offer. I want to see what's there outside. And mostly, I want to see you.. To feel your unconditional love while I'm growing up. To have you beside me as I try to figure out the things that I can't comprehend. I know you'll be a great teacher. I know you'll be a great MOM.

I wonder what will I gonna call you. Do you love to hear me saying ''mama?" or "mommy?" I know you do. How I wish I can make you happy. Don't worry, I'll be a good child. You don't need to worry about the things that you can't give for me. I understand.. Your love is more than you can give for. It's enough.

But before I came out, you decided to cut the tie that bonds us. I couldn't do anything to fight for myself. I couldn't use my power to defeat for my life. I can't understand why you didn't let me see the light. I can't understand why you didn't let me go out. Do you hate me? For what reasons? Is it because I expected a lot when I were still inside?

And now I'm gone. All my desires for life had vanished. All my fantasies couldn't be in a reality. It's just like a bubble floating in the air. I wished I could say some words before I go. I want to say this to you;

"Sorry mama because I came at the wrong time. I'm sorry because I came when you less expect it and I know that you're not ready. I'm sorry because I was the reason why you became so depressed. Thank you because I've learned that it's not easy to be human. And it will not be easy for you to have me as your child." :frown:

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It's blue..

I love sunny days. It's nice to see the sun rising into glorious mornings. When I look at the sky and it's blue, then I'm happy. It somehow makes me feel fine. I love to hear the birds singing. When I'm sad, I will just think of them and ask, "why is it that those birds are happy?"

if they can.. I must!

Community Health Nursing

All things come to an end. It’s nice to know that we’ve already finished our Community Health Nursing and we will be on our hospital duty. I will surely miss those days waiting at Talisay Public Market and riding in a jeepney on way to Brgy. Caawigan. I would probably missed walking up on a hot, sunny day… or marching up on a cool, cloudy day when the sky is gray. I would miss my shoes almost covered with brown mud. And most of all, I would miss them.. the people.. my adopted family. I will never forget the first day that I visited Lolo and Lola. I remembered their smile welcoming me in their small house, being so lighthearted that made me so comfortable like I was at home. I would miss those days talking with them… conversing with their health problems and their family story. I would never forget how they made me realized that people are really good at heart. And that nothing pays more than love and happiness.

I’ve found real humility with those small people. They can easily be talked to unlike to those in the upper places. They are contented living in a simple life, being good despite of poverty. I admire those people who can live with dignity, with nobleness, and who can remain good even when they are down and needy. I will never forget their smile during our program. We are all happy to see them happy.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

I was glad that I experienced on how to be a community health nurse. It’s nice to listen to people and be with the community. It’s true that if you want to be happy, you should make at least one other person happy. We’re glad that we’ve made them happy even for a short period of time.

Like a bird

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body; what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

I looked at the birds feeding at the grains of rice I’d scattered on the soil. They eventually came near the place where I stood, and eat the grains fearlessly together with the chickens. The chickens greedily hurt the small birds causing them to move some distance. Then, I thought, that even other creatures can be selfish and unkind to small ones. Why does weak creatures always been under the power of the great? Can’t they live equally in this world?”

“Pahagad maluto…” (begging for rice). I remember the person who always say this before. He had no home, no shelter, no roof or regular place to stay in. he sleep anywhere during hot or rainy days. He lived the same way like animals feeding for left-over foods given by some people. They call him “Berto” and since I was a kid, he’s already there. He was “blessed” by being mentally retarded person. One of such people who suffered the worst way of life, being unwanted by the society.

People in our town knew him toowell. He always beg, walk along the roads or in every store or house that he thought would be kind to offer him some sorts of throw-away foods. Foods which can fill his aching stomach. From door to door, he was treated badly and sent him away without receiving anything. Some people chased him, and it was one of those sad days, when hands were closed to help him. He sat in every corner where he can feel more comfortable during cold days. But life goes on. And I wonder how he survived. Perhaps, he has his own world, the world far from the reality. A place where people couldn’t hurt him and where life can be simple, so beautiful.

He seldom talks or says some words. And as he begs, whether he had received something or not, he always smiled in return. Some people hurt him, spit on him or throw some stones for him to go away. But he didn’t fight nor save himself from the cruelties of other people.

I didn’t saw him since I graduated high school. I didn’t walk along the street where I always saw him waiting for nothing, or maybe, waiting for the day turned into night. I don’t know where he is now. He had vanished, went somewhere like how birds flew from place to place. He was just one of many mentally retarded people who was abandoned by the society and neglected by others. I know that he is happy living in this world like other creatures, specifically like a bird whose life is in the hands of God the Almighty.

I’ve learned in the first year of my high school life that those unwanted people, those mentally retarded are more blessed than the normal one. They are not guilty of their sins. They are innocent or unaware about the things that are happening. And therefore, they are more closer to God than anybody else.

Where is christmas?

''Hohoho! Merry christmas''

''hey mommy is that the true santa claus?'' asked by a girl looking at the big belly man in costume. ''no honey, he's not'' answered by the mother. ''so where is santa mommy?"
the mother kneeL down, faced her child and point her finger to the girl's chest. ''Santa lives there, at your heart sweetie, and he will be with you all the time"

Krisa came near the two, grabbed the white skirt of the mother to get her attention. The woman immediately take off the dirty hand and said, ''oh, what do you need?" The little girl opened her dirty palm. The mother sighed, get her walet, took 50 pesos and gave it to the poor girl. ''ok, you can go'' The girl walks slowly while folding the money and securing it to her pocket.

The mother hold her childs arm and said, ''let's go home honey''
The child then asked, ''does santa gives gift even to the beggars mommy?"

''oh by the way sweetie, what gift do you want for christmas?" the mother changed the topic to stop the questions of her child. ''i want a new doll!"
''then, lets buy a new one!"

Other street childrens came near to Kriza and cornered her. ''hey oops, how much did you get from the rich lady?!" Kriza opened her palm ''just 10 pesos. I'll buy lugaw and tinapay for lola'' Kriza said. ''ok, your so slow. Just ten for the whole night?!" The group laughs.
Kriza immediately leave her peers and went home.

At their small house, her grandmom was lying very sick.
''lola, i'm home.. I bought lugaw for you..'' she sat at the floOr where the old woman was lying at. There were just some old papers and rugs that served as a cover and blanket to the sickly dying body. ''lola here's the soup'' the old woman opened her blurry eyes and said, ''what time is it my dear?"
''it's quarter to 12 lola, why?"

"it's christmas.. Will you come near me?''
Kriza lay down. The old woman hugged her. Kriza's heart beats fast. Then she heard her lola's dying voice whispered, ''merry christmas''
her tears fell down as she answered.. ''where is christmas lola.. Where is christmas..'' :frown:

Accepting things

I thank God that He gave me the strength to accept things which cannot be changed. And I'm happy that He gave me the courage to hold on and be brave to face it. Not all things can be perfect. I've learned that we must be contented and satisfied with what we have. For what God wants for us is greater than what we preferred to be.

My definition of love

Great love happens when you give your heart to someone who cannot give it back. It is not necessary to be loved in return. Love is infinite. It cannot be counted nor measured. It is offered with wide acceptance and equality to both the people you love and you hate. The purity of heart is seen through the principle of self-giving and self-sacrifice.

''Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
John 15:13


EVERY HEART

Every heart has its own goodnes
A heart full of love and kindness
It may sometimes be hidden
It may sometimes be veiled
But I know that it's out there
And can never be sealed.


Every heart resembles a mirror
Reflects one's character,
As well as the soul
It shows truth behind every person
And it cannot be hidden when we were alone.

Every heart is a penetrable stuff
That can carry hideous despair or doubt
It can handle affection called 'love'
A blessing given by God above. :smile:

Quotations



Me and my mom





MY PRECIOUS JEWEL

I want to share a story
About someone whose special to me
She's kind, thoughtful and loving
So industrious and caring

She's always there to guide me
When I'm sad she makes me happy
When I'm alone she's there
Giving me a tender loving care

When I'm hurt, she wipe my tears
Serving me throughout the years
She didn't accept any salary
But she still serving me for free

She's the one who gave my name
Who gave birth and beart the pain
Who taught me on how to walk
Til I learned on how to talk

She was there with my 1st award
With my lil' achievement as a child
She helped me to stand on my own
But she still there when I'm alone

I am blessed because I have her
A loving mom, a friend and my teacher
For me she's my guardian angel
Or just call her MY PRECIOUS JEWEL.
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December 2009
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