Lil L's Thoughts and Ponderings

The people who live directly behind my house

1. Shut your curtains or blinds I really don't want to see you sitting on the sofa naked, pumping your fist or what ever it is you do all night, when I open or close a window.

2. Go to bed once and a while, turn your bloody lights off !

3. Shut your bedroom window, or stop playing shit music from the stereo on your upstairs windowsill at full volume.

4. In fact shut ALL of your windows, you know, now and again. There is no need for every single window in your house to be open even in the fucking winter. ARE YOU MENTAL ?!

5. Adjust your security light, it shines right in to my kitchen and is burning the retinas from my eyes. In fact don't bother as it saves me putting my lights on in the kitchen, dinning room, back bedroom, bathroom and upstairs landing!

Just a few helpful hints to stop you annoying the crap out of me.

yep .. and their lounge light has been on all last night, and again tonight!

Not sure which section this goes in, whether it's the Panic section or the rant section, but as it is more of a rant I will put it here.

Brace yourselves because I am really off on one!

I received a message from my cousin on Facebook, telling me that my uncle had passed away. However I was told to late and missed his funeral. - Which caused me great distress and still does. I've not slept and have virtually no concentration at all. I've had panic attacks, and cried a lot.

However, I have since learned that one of my cousins has been to my uncle's bank, told them that he is the only living relative and requested they close the account and give him the money... No mention of the 6 other living relatives he has!

I have also since learned that he was stealing money from my uncle while he was still alive, and has also taken money from my family, and his own parents!

What sort of lowlife steals from his elderly and infirm uncle, not only while alive, but after he has died. Needless to say I am very unhappy, and will be having words with my cousin, as I find his behaviour deplorable.

Stealing from a dead man. How low can you get ?!

I tell you what Zaphira, he has taken the piss all of his life. As I've got to go up and sort legal stuff out, He'll be getting a few home truths thrown his way.

Going to the bank to try and empty the account is not his style, he is a penny pincher and a draw opener.
I'm guessing he's mentioned Uncle's death to some one, and it was their idea.

Don't worry though I'll keep everyone rant updated

He's upset the whole family. They are all ranting.

Again, not sure which section this goes in, but as it's rant related, I'll put it here.

As you can see, I went back up north to sort out probate business.

I made there, sorted out some business, but hadn't been to the graveyard, or seen my Uncle Joe, to leave a contact number.

So after a long day travelling Cousin Ann was nice enough to let me stay over.
And I wish I'd slept in the car!

Stevie couldn't come with me as he was working, so Jon offered to come with and look after us all.
It was late, everyone was hungry, so we went to the shop.
Meanwhile Cousin Ann was telling the kids where EVERYONE was sleeping.

Alex and I were to have the bed & Sam and Jon were to sleep downstairs. No consultation. That was what SHE decided.

I was feeling a bit jittery, thumpy chesty and generally uneasy. No big deal, not a panic attack, just nervous and unsettled.
Gave myself the you're okay speech, took some deep breathes and made the best of it.

As we wanted the kids to be settled in a strange house, and Jon & I wanted to discuss the days events, before telling the children what was going on, WE decided the kids should have the bed so they could rest.
As Jon was worried because of the difficult day I'd had, he thought it better to stay near me incase I had a panic attack.
So we put inflatables on the floor, near each other but NOT touching. Put a blanket over them both as a bottom sheet. And had a top blanket each.

Sorted - no problem.
One uneasy & uncomfortable night later, it was time to see my UncleJoe, pop to the graveyard and head home.

Ann got up when we got up had breakfast with us, gave us some veg and a prayer plaque belonging to my Mam - (I'd wondered where it had gone as it wasn't in the house, and I really wanted it.) Waved us off.
And off we went...

Brother rang, and I told him I was passing Darlington. He rang Ann who said "thanks" and put the phone down. (Brother thought this was rude & abrubt, but took no notice.)

Later that day I called Brother & Ann to say I was home. Ann didn't answer. Assuming she'd gone to bed, left it for the night.
No answer from Ann for the next 3 nights.
I called Brother & left her a text message saying I'd called, and to thank her.

The next night the telephone rang.
I was accused of taking the piss. I asked what I'd done. As I didn't know.

Apparently I had "faked" a panic attack.
I said my chest was thumping and I felt ill, but wasn't having an attack. If I was she'd have known about it.

Jon & I in the same room was inapproprite.
Even though the beds weren't actually touching. And we were dressed I had t-shirt and pants on & Jon had Jeans on, but no shirt.
That was still grounds to accuse me of an affair. HER reason being we're close friends,
and also as I let the kids get some rest. I let them stay together as I thought it inapproprite to allow one of them to sleep with a friend and neighbour, they are after all still children. That was also grounds to accuse me.

After the abuse hurled at me, Ann put the phone down. I cried and screamed.
I called my brother explained what had happened. Then told Steve when he came home from work.

"You've taken the piss out of your friend and allie .."
NO emptying stuff out of MY mother's house before clearing it with me or my brother. THAT IS TAKING THE PISS!

I did what I thought was right as a 37 year old woman. Because it wasn't Ann's Law, I got a mouthful.

I've had several male friends stay over, and slept in the same room as them.
And SLEEPING was all that went on.
My parents were fine about it.
So I don't know what she's having a go at me for! She is NOT my mother. And I most definately DIDN'T fake a panic attack. Because I've got more sense and had fuck all valium left, so no way would I waste on a fake attack.

So yes 1 week later I'm still very angry.

( Also see panic blog for related comment. )

She had no evidence to accuse me.

Not only that but she upset 3 people, accusing me.
(1 being my husband, who agreed with me and then changed his mind to wonder if she was right!) - My fault again I told him what she'd said because I did nothing wrong, so there was no reason to hide it from him.

So not only have I had to deal with the shit she stirred up.

She almost ended my 14 year marriage because of it.

Then she calls me and acts as if nothing has happened!

If she has never had a loving, trusting relationship with a friend, be it male or female. She's had a shallow exsistance.

She won't be happy until I'm 65 yr old lonely spinster like she is.

I'm sick to death of it all I really am.
Bloody families

The neighbours behind my house

They still aren't happy with lighting the rear portion of my house, they now feel the need to hack lumps from my ceanathous, without even saying it was over hanging.
To make matters worse they butchered it, so had to walk round and Glenlivit helped me cut it back properly.

Tonight it was not only the "lighting" but incessant fireworks, that were shaking the house and scaring the cats.
I mean what did they do? Go to Walmart and ask for the biggest box they had or bought 16 little ones and lit them all at once?
And what is wrong with setting them off at a reasonable time rather than waiting till gone 11pm. It's not Bonfire night or new years for goodness sake.

Not only that but one of them is a pervert and hangs from the window just so he can spy on the young lady 2 doors down.

Re-build that factory before we is all driven nuts.

Well people outside the UK don't know what spazda is.

I tell you what I'm getting more and more pissed off as time goes on.

Every house over the back was letting off fireworks, but hardly anyone went trick or treating. when I was a kid it was age old tradition. Now people don't care anymore. It's heartbreaking.