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RSMurthi's DigiDips & SoundToyz

Links to cool stuff, arty fare, freebies, fab finds, great stories and music gadgets that keep the world sane and sound.

Sounds like P.G. Wordhouse!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers to "take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition".

These are the winning entries:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Winners of The Washington Post's yearly "alternate meanings for common words" contest:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Che Guevara Store is always open!



So, how did a monomaniacal Marxist terrorist become a universal cultural icon, or worse, a merchandising miracle? Well, you're not gonna get the answer by scratching your head or watching 'The Motorcycle Diaries'. You need to czech out theCHEstore.com for that! And while you're at it, get a load of this.

Bob Dylan on Robert Johnson



From Chronicles: Volume One: 'From the first note the vibrations from the loudspeaker made my hair stand up. The stabbing sounds from the guitar could almost break a window. When Johnson started singing, he seemed like a guy who could have sprung from the head of Zeus in full armor. I immediately differentiated between him and anyone else I had ever heard. The songs weren't customary blues songs. They were perfected pieces-each song contained four or five verses, every couplet intertwined with the next but in no obvious way. They were so utterly fluid. At first they went by quick, too quick to even get. They jumped all over the place in range and subject matter, short punchy verses that resulted in some panoramic story-fires of mankind blasting off the surface of this spinning piece of plastic. "Kind Hearted Woman," "Traveling Riverside Blues," "Come On in My Kitchen." Johnson's voice and guitar were ringing the room and I was mixed up in it. Didn't see how anybody couldn't be. I copied Johnson's words down on scraps of paper so I could more closely examine the lyrics and patterns, the construction of his old-style lines and the free association that he used, the sparkling allegories, big-ass truths wrapped in the hard shell of nonsensical abstraction-themes that flew through the air with the greatest of ease. I didn't have any of these dreams or thoughts but I was going to acquire them. I thought about Johnson a lot, wondered who his audience could have been. It's hard to imagine sharecroppers or plantation field hands at hop joints, relating to songs like these. You have to wonder if Johnson was playing for an audience that only he could see, one off in the future. "The stuff I got'll bust your brains out," he sings. Johnson is serious, like the scorched earth. There's nothing clownish about him or his lyrics. I wanted to be like that, too. Eventually the record came out and it hit all the blues lovers like an explosion. A few researchers got transfixed on him and went looking for his past, whatever was left of it, and a few found it. Johnson recorded in the '30s, and in the 1960s there were still some folks around in the Delta who had known about him. Some even, who knew him. There'd been a fast moving story going around that he had sold his soul to the devil at a four-way crossroads at midnight and that's how he got to be so good. Well, I don't know about that. The ones who knew him told a different tale and that was that he had hung around some older blues players in rural parts of Mississippi, played harmonica, was rejected as a bothersome kid, that he went off and learned how to play guitar from a farmhand named Ike Zinnerman, a mysterious character not in any of the history books. Maybe because he didn't make records. He must have been an incredible teacher. Those who knew said that Ike showed Robert the rudiments of how to play like just about anybody and that Johnson did the rest on his own, that he mainly listened to records and got all of his approaches off those records. You can still hear them, the original records, the songs that were prototypes for all of Johnson's songs. This makes more sense. Johnson's even got a song called "Phonograph Blues" that's an homage to a record player with a rusty needle. John Hammond had told me that he thought Johnson had read Walt Whitman. Maybe he did, but it doesn't clear up anything. I just couldn't imagine how Johnson's mind could go in and out of so many places. He seems to know about everything, he even throws in Confucius-like sayings whenever it suits him. Neither forlorn or hopeless or shackled-nothing hinders him. As great as the greats were, he goes one step further. You can't imagine him singing, "Washington's a bourgeois town." He wouldn't have noticed or if he did, it would have been irrelevant. More than thirty years later, I would see Johnson for myself in eight seconds' worth of 8-millimeter film shot in Ruleville, Mississippi, on a brightly lit afternoon street by some Germans in the late '30s. Some people questioned whether it was really him, but slowing the eight seconds down so it was more like eighty seconds, you can see that it really is Robert Johnson, has to be-couldn't be anyone else. He's playing with huge, spiderlike hands and they magically move over the strings of his guitar. There's a harp rack with a harmonica around his neck. He looks nothing like a man of stone, no high-strung temperament. He looks almost childlike, an angelic looking figure, innocent as can be. He's wearing a white linen jumper, coveralls and an unusual gilded cap like Little Lord Fauntleroy. He looks nothing like a man with the hellhound on his trail. He looks immune to human dread and you stare at the image in disbelief.' More

Excerpt from Ron Wood's book



From Daily Mail: 'On Charlie's say-so, we gave this little rocker his first break. When he stepped out on to the stage we were a bit surprised because he was wearing a raincoat and stockings. The crowd was startled too, and started lobbing fruit and vegetables at the guy. "That's the trouble with conferring a title on yourself before you've earned it," said Keith Richards. That's how Prince became a star. Five years later, I guested for him at Wembley Arena. Backstage, I found a little girl who looked lost and asked her if she was all right. She said she was. I said: "Do you need help finding your parents?" She said she was fine. Turns out it was Kylie Minogue.' More

Hugh Laurie's house woes



So Hugh Laurie, the star of the almost always brilliant TV series House, is cranky, miserable, pill-dependent, suicidally solitary and wracked by repressed guilt? Sounds a bit like actor imitating character. From Daily Mail: 'Tortured by his feelings of unworthiness and his obsession that his American accent is not up to scratch, Hugh's famed melancholy has reached new and darker depths. New actors and crew working with the star on the set are routinely given advance warning by Fox TV producers that they can expect the show's leading man to be morose and sullen. By the end of the day, he regularly cuts a desperate figure, his head in his hands, sitting on the pavement outside the lot where the highly successful series is made.' More

Extract from Bob Dylan's Chronicles: Volume One

How the greatest live rock album got made



From Skydog: The Duane Allman Story by Randy Poe:

"With two studio albums under their belt, the Allman Brothers were about to fulfill one more of Duane's dreams. In 1970 he had told disc jockey Ed Shane, "You know, we get kind of frustrated doing the records, and I think, consequently, our next album will be... a live recording, to get some of that natural fire on it." The live recording that Duane had hoped for would eventually consist of performances from Friday, March 12, and Saturday, March 13. The band actually played three straight nights at the Fillmore, beginning on Thursday. Ads for the show read: "Bill Graham Presents in New York-Johnny Winter, Elvin Bishop Group, Extra Added Attraction: Allman Brothers." Extra added attraction indeed. No matter that Johnny Winter was billed as the headliner-by the final night, the Allman Brothers were closing the show.

Tom Dowd was back to produce the album, but this time he was flying by the seat of his pants. He hadn't even planned to be in New York when the live album was being cut. "I was supposed to be in Europe," he told Hittin' the Note's Bill Ector. Dowd had been in Africa, working on the film Soul to Soul. From there he planned to vacation in Rome, but when his plane touched down, he discovered it was snowing. "I looked and I thought, 'I don't need Rome in the snow.'" So Dowd caught the next plane to Paris, eventually arriving in New York at the crack of dawn on March 10.

After checking into a hotel near the Atlantic Records office, he slept all day. The following afternoon he called Jerry Wexler to let him know he was in town. "That's great," said Wexler, "because the Allman Brothers are recording tonight at the Fillmore." With such short notice, Dowd had no time to speak to Duane or any of the other band members. He took a taxi down to the Fillmore East and hopped into the truck that housed Location Recorders' mobile studio.

"The band didn't even know I was back," said Dowd. "I'm sitting in the truck and prompting the engineers. So the band comes onstage and all of a sudden I hear horns, and I like to nearly wet my pants! I went out of that truck, I mean, I came tear-assing down. And when they came off, I grabbed them and said, 'Get the fucking horns out of my life. They are out of tune, they don't know the songs - whose stroke of genius was this?’ "

When the band finally calmed him down, they asked Dowd if they could keep one horn player and Thom Doucette on harmonica. He agreed, but the initial show was a lost cause. "The first show, half the tracks that I could have used were wasted because I had horns on guitar parts, and they were terrible. It was pretty grim," said Dowd. "So that night, in order to make a point, we went up to my studio with the tapes under my arms, and I played the whole concert back to them. They were sitting there and said, 'Yeah, you're right.' When they did the next night, I didn't have to worry about the horns."

Although the eventual album would include tracks from both the 12th and 13th, Dowd felt the contributions by saxophonist Rudolph "Juicy" Carter-who had been featured on some of the second night's performances-weren't quite gelling with the band. By Saturday's gig, Carter was sitting out. In fact, for a while on Saturday - thanks to someone phoning in a bomb threat - it looked as if everybody might be sitting out. But after the Fillmore had been searched, the show resumed. Much of what was recorded during the post-bomb-scare set on the night of the 13th became the material on At Fillmore East.

Technically, the Allman Brothers' late show actually took place on the morning of March 14. By all accounts, the band didn't hit the stage until sometime after 2:00 a.m. Recollections of the duration of that final set vary greatly, depending on who’s telling the story-but it's safe to say that it went on for well over three hours. The final encore (which didn't make it onto the original album) was "Drunken Hearted Boy," featuring Elvin Bishop on guitar and vocals, Steve Miller on piano, and Bobby Caldwell on percussion. At the end of the song, Duane said, "That's all for tonight." But nobody wanted to go home. As the crowd continued to cheer for more, Duane - in semi-disbelief - told them, "Hey, listen. It's six o'clock, y'all." When the cheers continued, he tried a different tactic: "Look here, we recorded all this. This is gonna be our third album, and thank you for your support. You're all on it. We ain't gonna send you no check, but thanks for your help." And with that, the Allman Brothers' three-night stand at the Fillmore East was finally over."

Excerpt from Skydog: The Duane Allman Story



From Skydog: The Duane Allman Story by Randy Poe:

"After Duane had finished his two-concert tour with Derek and the Dominos, he met up with the rest of the Allman Brothers Band in Columbia, South Carolina on December 4th. The band opened for Johnny Winter And (the albino virtuoso's oddly named group with fellow guitarist Rick Derringer) at the Carolina Coliseum, and then moved on the next day to the Music Factory in Greenville, North Carolina. Dates at the Fillmore East were scheduled for the 12th and 13th, so Duane headed on to New York for a radio interview to promote the shows.

On December 9th, Allman arrived at WABC-FM to chat with disc jockey Dave Herman. The general idea for the evening was to discuss the Fillmore concerts, talk a bit about the Allman Brothers and Derek and the Dominos, spin a few records, and take phone calls from the listeners. But the interviewer's best-laid plans instantly flew out the window when Duane showed up late and out of it.

"I'm drunk, man," he told Herman. When Allman attributed his current state to a bottle of Jack Daniel's, the interviewer calmly asked, "Black label or green?" "Black label, of course, Allman responded indignantly. "I'm from Tennessee, man. My grandfather washed his feet in Jack Daniel's."

For the next hour, Dave Herman had his hands full. Allman, who usually spoke slowly and articulately, was in overdrive. One has to suspect that much more than Jack Daniel's was at play. Duane did manage to subtly plug the upcoming dates by bragging about Betts ("If you’ve never heard him play, come down to the Fillmore this weekend, man, and hear him. I'm the famous one, man. He's the good player."). But there were other, more personal things on his mind.

In the most brutally honest statement he would ever make during any interview, Allman talked openly - perhaps much too openly - about his recently failed relationship with Donna, and about his daughter, Galadrielle. "I got rid of my old lady and my kid. I said, 'No old ladies, no kids, man. Just guitars.'

"She's a teenage queen," Duane continued. No doubt sensing that he was losing control of an interview that was quickly turning into a monologue, Herman interjected, "Who's a teenage queen - your kid or your…?"

"My old lady," Duane responded before Herman could even finish asking the question.

"My kid is a kid. She's mine. She's part of me. You can see me in her. I look at her and say, 'Hey, me. How you doin'?'

"Children are good, man, if you love 'em - if you've got time to do it. It's not good if the old lady ain't nowhere, man. And my old lady…she's just, 'Do you love me, son?' 'No I don't love you. I just seen you. You come by the gig and asked me if I'd ball you, and I said, 'Okay, yeah.' And then ten months later, 'I’m pregnant. What'll I do? What'll I do?' I said, 'I don’t know what to do. So she comes down and she gets a crib, see, she gets an apartment and she says, 'Duane, here's your home! Here's your home!' And I said, 'Well, I’ve been looking for home. This must be it!' So I run on in the door, man, and right away I start getting pulled at and shoved at man. I don't want none of that, man. I don't want none of that. So I says, 'Okay, here's your bucks. Here's your car. Here's your trip. Hit the road.' So, it's just me and my old guitar."

Listening to the interview decades later, it is still a spine-chilling experience. Had Allman been a superstar at the time, his cruel confessional most likely would have been career wrecking front-page news in the tabloids. But in December of 1970, as far as the mainstream media was concerned, Duane Allman was just another guitar player in a rock 'n roll band.

Despite everything, the conversation wasn't short on levity. Duane was talking a mile a minute, explaining in an almost incoherent fashion about the formation of the Allman Brothers Band when Herman jumped in. "You do a two and a half hour interview in ten minutes," he told Allman. When the disc jockey added that he thought "people from the South are supposed to talk slow and mellow," Duane responded, "Oh, I am - but you get up here, you have to talk fast or somebody'll talk in front of you."

When phone calls started pouring into the station, one listener spoke of seeing the Allman Brothers open for Blood, Sweat & Tears at the Fillmore East the previous year, and then asked Duane what he thought of the group. After a lengthy silence, Allman finally responded, "My mother told me when I was a child, 'If you can't - don't.'"

Moments later, the interview was finally, mercifully, over. Through a haze of alcohol and whatever else was in his system, Duane Allman had once again found a way to - in the words of Paul Hornsby - "show his ass." This time, however, it wasn't in the privacy of an Hour Glass recording session. It was on a radio show with thousands of listeners.

Perhaps Duane just got drunk and high that night for the hell of it. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time. Maybe all the Christmas decorations in Manhattan were a reminder that the anniversary of his father's murder was fast approaching. On the other hand, the upcoming Fillmore dates could have played some small part in his having gotten completely shit-faced before going on the air. On the 12th and 13th, the Allman Brothers would be second on the bill behind Canned Heat. Remarkably, Duane's old nemesis, Dallas Smith, had finally figured out how to make a blues-rock record. His production of Boogie with Canned Heat with its hit single, "On the Road Again," had turned Smith into a bona fide rock producer of no small renown. The irony wouldn't have been lost on Duane that the musically superior Allman Brothers Band had to open for a Dallas Smith-produced act."

First Indian-American governor elected in the U.S.



From NYT: ' Bobby Jindal, a conservative Republican congressman from the New Orleans suburbs and the son of immigrants from India, was elected Louisiana’s governor Saturday, inheriting a state that was suffering well before Hurricane Katrina left lingering scars two years ago. Mr. Jindal, 36, defeated three main challengers in an open primary, becoming this state's first nonwhite governor since a Reconstruction-era figure briefly held the office 130 years ago. With more than 90 percent of the vote counted, Mr. Jindal received 53 percent, above the 50 percent-plus-one threshold needed to avoid a runoff in November. He will be the nation’s first Indian-American governor when he takes office in January.' More

Trick or treat from Radiohead?



So, the poor sods who spent decent money (if you're young and jobless, any amount you spend is a downer) to download tracks from Radiohead's new album In Rainbows are pissed off that they've ended up with nothing more than crappy 160kbps MP3s on their hard drives? Not only that, adding insult to their injury is the band's announcement that the putatively Web-only album will be available commercially in expanded CD form next year. So, is that ethical? What gives? More / Free rules!
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