GROPE MY WAY

Oh, my gosh!
I slept for 11 hours today! This is unbelievable!
I usually sleep like.....for 7 hours, and recently I sleep for 4 hours because of my schedule.
So, I guess I was too tired to ignore my alarmclock

Well, it's good to have enough rest, but don't you have headache after that?
I always suffer from headache after long sleep.
And it confines me on the bed extra few hours....
This is not good....
'Cuz, I cannot do what I have to do.

Yes! There are too many things that I have to do right now,
and they are more that I can handle in this limited time.

Ooops! It reminded me of a so-called thank-you letter to the interviewer!!!
Ok, Let's do it!!

A long time ago... (I think it was a month ago, though),
I asked my friend to refer me to any lawyer who's looking for an intern.
Because of my status, I, at that time, was looking for a voluntary intern position.
(I didn't know that school would get so intense and busy ;( )

Then, I received an email from this friend, saying that one lawyer looked forward to interviewing me.
At that point, I was not sure if I should take this chance because I barely have enough time to go out.

But, this is the chance which doesn't happen so often.
I know that many lawyers want to have "free" interns for economic reason.
Some friends say it is not favorable to work for free, espacially when it requires hard-work.

They are right, but money is not my reason that I want to work in a law firm,
I want to work to establish my work experience.

If you are here in US, you know how important work experience is to get a job.
Besides, I will have maximum 1 year to get a job and to find a sponsor for visa.
So, even if it'll be tough and rough to me, I believe that I should take a shot!

Therefore, I asked my friend to forward my resume to the lawyer.
I'm waiting to a confirmation for interview time & location.
Probably, it will be on day after tomorrow.

That's so quick! I know. I'm kinda nervous because I haven't prepared for it yet.
So, wish me luck!!!

It's been almost 1 month since I post last.
I've been struggling with my study and establishing (or fixing?) my existing friendship such a long time!

Well, I think my study has been going OK, not so great as I thought it would be, though
I'm taking 6 classes right now, and most of them are advanced level.
So, they requires students a lot of work, probably, a lot of work and energy to complete.
If I did as I had done before, I would not have been able to get them done by deadline.
but, fortunately, I have had them completed before the due, so far.

On the other hand, my friendship is not in good shape.
The friend I talked about before is getting more weird as time passes by.
I asked him whether or not he has been avoiding me because he seemed to do so.
But, he said NO,
and if I felt that way according to his behavior, he said it was my psychological problem, not his.

However, don't you feel abondoned if someone frequently change his mind right in front of your face
in order for him to say good bye to me and for him to go different direction from mine?!
The very reason for this is that he did such an unusual action every time we had the same class.
If he had done once in a while, I would not have wondered if he was still my friend.
Now that he does so all the time, there is no uncertainty that he has tried not to talk to me.

What is worse is that I have suffered from not only bad feeling but also physical malfunction.
My hands tremble anytime I have classes with him.
I feel sick and have nausea during the whole period of class.
I almost burst into tears during class.

This is more than I can handle.
My body refuses to be in the same physical space with him.
Because such symptoms disappears right after I leave the room.

Here is my question: Is my way of thinking unusual?

Unfortunately, my vacation is almost over.
I still have 1 more day before the spring semester begins, but it's not enough.

I wanted to do many stuff but I couldn't actually.

Well, I went to movies & shopping, so I had fun, not to mention.
However, I have suffered from some kinda anxiaty from some unexpected events as well.

One was caused by UPS company.
The lady whose package was missing because of the UPS driver called the cop,
and I had to spend quite some time calling UPS and obtaining proof that I had nothing to be blamed of.

Another was by my friend.
I have dated (I think we've been dating within American definition) with my friend,
and at the beginning, he seemed to like me alot.
Well, I like him alot, too.
But, since both of us seemed to know how we felt each other, he changed his attitude to me.
He became less understandable, passionate, and interesting in me.
But still, he calls me almost everyday.
So, now I'm not able to understand him, I mean, what he wants....
It's so confusing me alot that I can't stop trying to figure it out
even if I know I won't be able to find an answer right away.
This is very exhausting..... orz....

There are more to say, but my mind is not functioning properly.
I think all I'm dealing with are too much for me.
I know I have to have them end in the future, but I just can't do it now...
I'm just escaping from them, but I believe I should try to be calm for a while...

Besides, while I've been coping with them, my best adviser (best friend) was out of town,
so, that's why I wasn't capable of manipulate the situation well.

Thank GOD, she came back to NY...
I hope everything would be settled.
It doesn't have to be ended in my favor, but I just want such problems to come to end...

I can't believe that I haven't updated my site so long time.
This is because of UPS....

I had a bg problem with UPS and tenant living right below my apt.
UPS lost her package and istakenly reported that her package was delivered to me.
UPS put my signature (which I made for my package) on her delivery report.
So, I had to talk to UPS almost every day, and the tenant to make sure my innocence,
as well as lawyers and my friends who knew laywers.
I haven't talked to her for 1 week, so I hope this problem was solved.

So, the last week of 2005 wasn't pleasant.
However, my start of 2006 was good.
I enjoyed it with my close friends, drinking, chatting, taking pictures, etc...
Besides, I got Japanese traditional New Year's money-gifts, which is passed from older people to young.
I know I'm 26 years old, but still I am lucky enough to receive them ;P

Then, I went to movie with my amigo today as well as Toysarus, big park in the city, etc..
It was little cold out there but still fun!

I have more plans to do, going to parties, skating, movies, etc...
I hope they would be great.

Considering all of this, I feel my 2006 would be wonderful.
At the same time, your 2006 will be also fantastic!

Then, we all can enjoy our lives!!!!
Have Fun, Guys!!!