RICK'S PLACE

An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving when she got pulled over by the police, who asks her, 'Ma'am did you know that you were speeding?' Irene turns to her husband, Mick and enquires, 'What did he say?' Mick yells out, 'He says you were speeding!' The policeman said, 'May I see your license, please ma'am?' Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, 'What did he say?' Once more, Mick, shouts out, 'He wants to see your license!' Irene gives the policeman her driving license. The cop retorts, 'I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and had the worst date I have ever had.' For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, 'What did he say?' Mick yells very loudly, 'He thinks he knows you!'

An absolutely stunning tilt-shift video of various trains passing through the Swiss villages of Sisikon and Göschenen. This project was filmed by Andi Leemann and Jeri Peier using two EOS 5D Mark II cameras, a Canon 90mm TS-E f/2.8 and a Canon TS-E 24mm f/3.5 combined with a 1.4x converter

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES!

All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at little or no cost.
Workloads getting to you?
Feeling stressed?
Too many priorities and assignments?

Here is the new low cost, company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)
Fig 1.



Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.
Fig 2.



Apply as shown in Fig 3.
Fig 3.



Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

Cheers!

the fellow who took these photos and so many other fantastic ones is a friend here on Opera and you really should check out his great work! He has posted a gazillion beautiful images for us to enjoy.



http://my.opera.com/garytmarsh/blog/

This explains why I forward jokes.






A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.



When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.' The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.



When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also, to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, and that you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
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my yahoo group..sign up to receive fun daily emails,jokes and have access to 500+ jokes plus thousands of special images I've archived ..you'll find funny,scenic,wallpaper,animals,gif and scads of stuff

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cosmos_Jokes_n_Stuff/