Tuesday, 6. January 2009, 04:23:32
she stood there with blond hair,
short and blue eyes so clear.
a tattered notebook at her side
and I wondered what it might hide.
she looked down and around;
searching nothing seemed found.
only the scribbled-on shoes she wore
received a solid glance worth more.
I longed there for her stare.
I was left wanting; bear.
I was helpless without those eyes;
I could only gaze; analyze.
she soon left, I was bereft.
with a turn and with deft
I too went on my lonely way.
not having bothered to say “Stay.”
If you haven't seen it before, now you have. It will be proceeded by another bout of shameless emotionalism.
On my way back here, I was feeling pretty awful. I have times in my life when I think "now would be a good time to cry." This was one of those times. I can't cry though, even though I feel horrible and I'm alone, and I'm aware of all this, I still can't cry. It was the second time I listened to Believe (Yellowcard), and the first time I actually listened to the lyrics, that I started crying. I like the song, but it's irrelevant here. It could've been anything. The point is, I need music, or a movie, or a speech... something external to myself. I guess that rules out acting.
If you're wondering why I was feeling so awful, and you're probably not, it's cause I was driving away from everyone I love to a room where I sit by myself and type on my computer. I don't regret my decision, but that's not a whole lot of solace at times like this. And it happens every time. This is the worst part, by far. Worse than the early mornings, no sleep, cold, wet, heat, stupid jobs, waiting, all of it. It'll pass though, as with all things earthly. Once I'm back at work, I'll get to focusing on all that other stuff I just listed and then it'll be gone, until next time. I'll close with the verse on this thing my sister gave me, cause it's nice:
You have been my defense and refuge in the day of my trouble
Psalm 59:16