Writer's Block

"Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers" said Aldernak.

Sophie raised her eyes to the ceiling for a moment, then stared at him contemptuously.

"Didn't like that one, eh? Hang on...". He flicked through a book hurriedly. "Ah, here we go". He cleared his throat.

"Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes."

The eyes glared back at him.

"How long are you going to do this?" said Sophie.
"Until it works. You see this..." he waved a book at her "...it says the lines are guaranteed. Guaranteed! I just need to find the perfect one...ah!"

"You know what I like about you? My arms".
"Dammit, Aldernak, stop this!"

He skimmed through a few more pages. "Maybe I'm being too subtle. How about this?"

"Anything drugs can do, I can do with my tongue".
"Let me go, you idiot!".
"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"
"Aaarrrgggghhh!"
"With one touch, I could make you make sounds that only a dog could hear".
"Screw you!".
"Hey, are we getting somewhere?"

Sophie struggled once again to free herself from the chair. Was it her imagination, or was one of the ropes starting to loosen?

"When I get free, Aldernak, I'm going to shove that book right up your backside!"
"I'm sure I'll find the right line soon and everything will be fine. Ahem".

"Wanna go halves on a b...no, that one's a bit too much. Er..."

*flick, flick, flick*

"Hi, I make more money than you can spend".
"Aldernak, you don't have any money".
"Hmm...sadly true. Maybe I should try several lines in rapid succession...".

He turned away to scribble in a notepad. "Now, let's see, do I start with the innocent ones or the dirty ones..."

After a desperate but determined wriggle, Sophie finally freed her right arm. She looked anxiously over to where Aldernak was, saw that he was engrossed in his scribbling, and carefully undid the rest of her bonds.
She stood up, massaged the feeling back into her limbs, picked up the chair and then walked over to stand behind Aldernak.

"Okay, I'm just about ready here, you won't be able to resist this lot!"

He started to turn.

"What the-?"

CRASH!

She looked down on his unconscious body.

"Idiot".

Then she got the little book, and shoved it...