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Writer's Block

where my strange imagination roams free...

Grumpy

Thursday, 25. December 2008, 23:50:00

, ,

Damn, this thing's heavy. Why's nobody happy with a book or a small toy anymore? If I had my way, they'd all get coal and be glad to have it, none of this games console rubbish. And why do they ALL need one? Why on earth am I supposed to deliver 3 PS3s to the Westenra kids - can't they play together? Share? But no - Muggins here is meant to lug 3 of the things across a slippery roof in the dead of night just so three spoilt brats can hide in their bedrooms all day.
It would be different if I was still in charge of the lists - she lets them get away with anything. How many on the naughty list this year? Six. Six out of billions - is she mad?! No, maybe I shouldn't blame her - not after that nasty incident with Johnnie Cochran.
And as for those anti-discrimination laws - did they ever think about me? That's my whole business! It's bad enough delivering to the snotty kids without having to deliver to the snobby parents too! Suits, jewellery, toasters, tvs - they're all in the sack these days. It's no wonder the elves are calling in sick more often when their workload increased six-fold overnight.
Well, we've had enough. Did you really think we'd sit back and accept this indefinitely? Really? Well, shove this up your stocking!

---------------------

"...leaving thousands dead across the world and many more injured. A previously-unknown terrorist organisation, Al-Santa, has claimed responsibility for these atrocities and issued a list of demands. An emergency UN Summit has been called to discuss..."

Yo-YoEn Garde

Comments

Dacotah 26. December 2008, 00:07

Oh my, touching Christmas tale there Mart. :D

theoddbod 26. December 2008, 00:44

Yes, just the usual traditional Christmas fare. Very heart-warming :D

Dacotah 26. December 2008, 02:50

:D
*Waiting for part 2*

funz81 26. December 2008, 04:43

Al - Santa? :lol::lol:

funz81 26. December 2008, 04:44

That's heart-warming? :eyes: and it's another serie? :eyes:

Chas4 26. December 2008, 06:05

I think this was the first year in a while that I had a least one item on the list

Seems like Santa was not happy

keep up the good stories :yes:

Zaphira 26. December 2008, 07:15

Hahahahaha! :lol: I love it!
Fantastic that he keeps making lists! :yes:

Spaggyj 26. December 2008, 09:09

Very Futurama :lol:

Furie 26. December 2008, 09:46

Love it. :D Not just me trashing Santa this year.

theoddbod 26. December 2008, 10:45

:D

It's not going to be a series, but I intend to do a story every Christmas that may involve a twisted Santa. Not sure I could spin out an 'Al-Santa' series. I think elf suicide bombers would be a bit too much, for example :left:.
Last year it was Santa vs Reindeer, this year it's Santa vs The World :ninja:

Furie 26. December 2008, 10:55

Next year, it's Santa vs Vista. :lol:

julka 26. December 2008, 11:09

:smile:

Cois 26. December 2008, 15:48

:lol: its so festive!

theoddbod 26. December 2008, 17:23

Next year I think Vista will have been quietly swept aside like Windows ME.
I'd think maybe of something like Santa vs Santa p:

Chas4 26. December 2008, 17:37

Vista will be SP2 by next Christmas and we may be talking about Windows 7

flamingo-rinse 26. December 2008, 19:52

Next xmas it'll be Windows 8 we're 'looking forward' to, Vista is already on the skids :yes:

flamingo-rinse 26. December 2008, 19:53

Oh sorry Mart - a most enjoyable twist to the xmas theme, thank you :smile:

Chas4 26. December 2008, 21:20

Windows 7 is after Vista, Windows 8 may be in about 10 years

Furie 26. December 2008, 22:27

No-one understands WIC comedy. :lol:

SqueakeyCat 26. December 2008, 22:31

well i hope that if they come out with a new Windows Program, they at least take the time to make sure the damn thing works properly first, instead of sending it out there 1/4 of the way done and NOTHING working properly.

nice post, mart...love it...but i could definitely make you a second part for it, very easily

Furie 26. December 2008, 22:35

You don't know much about software development eh? There's a team set aside to put the bugs into each release. :up:

rose-marie 26. December 2008, 22:36

:lol: Funny that Santa has a wish list of his own p:.

Chas4 27. December 2008, 00:49

Microsoft can write software that works gasp :wink:

theoddbod 27. December 2008, 02:44

Nothing wrong with Visual Studio :D. My worst computer experiences all seem to involve either Novell or Symantec these days.

@rose-marie : and why wouldn't he have a list? Nobody's been getting him presents, and every Christmas he's out doing obscene amounts of overtime just so you can have a new pair of sneakers p:.
He was bound to snap eventually :left:

@Mik : WIC? I sense a Homer: Doh! moment coming when i work out that acronym.

@SqueakeyCat : i could certainly write more either set after or before this story, but i'm not sure i'd like the turns it would take. I don't often write follow-up pieces, especially when i've got several others to finish.

@everyone else : Thanks for reading :D I hope you enjoyed it - sorry there's been such a long pause awww

SqueakeyCat 27. December 2008, 03:12

np odd...

and i agree, it could take on some nasty turns if it were expanded

flamingo-rinse 27. December 2008, 06:19

Windows 7 is after Vista, Windows 8 may be in about 10 years

:lol:

Whale Interpretive Centre, possibly - nice one Mik :smile:

Women, Infants & Children??

Windows Imaging Component??

Chas4 27. December 2008, 06:46

Windows Internal Committee?

Furie 27. December 2008, 10:15

Windows
Is
Crap

C'mon people, have you never read the loading screens when the PC boots? It's in there.

julka 27. December 2008, 11:46

Originally posted by Furie:

Windows
Is
Crap



I know it is very easy to say that, but I don't think it's true.
(I am an IT person - have been studying programming - so I know a bit about it).
No other operating systems, but Windows can be used my masses of people, who don't have a clue about programming and how things work...

And I - personally - like Vista. For the looks.
It all depends what you expect of your computer...


PS. Apologies about the offtopic.

rose-marie 27. December 2008, 13:26

Nobody's been getting him presents[...]

Hey... I always leave a little something for Santa. I've deserved my shoes :happy:.

Furie 27. December 2008, 14:17

Trust me, it's true. p: I'm an end user these days and never had so many problems with anything else. And then there's the paperclip...

Chas4 27. December 2008, 16:30

http://www.deanliou.com/WinRG/WinRG2.htm

Have fun with that version of Windows

theoddbod 27. December 2008, 16:43

Windows isn't so bad. It's when you start installing a dozen different programs that all want to run when you boot up that it starts to have fits. Never had any problems with Office or SQL Server or Visual Studio or Windows, really - I even survived Windows ME without too many problems, once I'd removed all the crap that Hewlett Packard preinstalled on it.

@rose-marie : what kind of little something? Cookies? Don't you think he's a bit bored with cookies by now? Perhaps he'd like a bit of Metallica blasting out while flying his sleigh all over the world - did you ever think of that? :bandit:

Furie 27. December 2008, 17:53

Surely making Santa a mixed tape is kinda creepy? :left:

SqueakeyCat 27. December 2008, 19:30

love it Chas....lmao

Chas4 27. December 2008, 19:37

SqueakeyCat If I recal right everything does somethin and the words go well.

SqueakeyCat 27. December 2008, 20:08

yep, they do go well with the comments...lol

rose-marie 29. December 2008, 12:56

:eek: I never left cookies for Santa! He has to settle for porridge :D.

theoddbod 29. December 2008, 22:55

Porridge? So it's cold when he gets it and he has to heat it up, then he either has to eat it in your living room or eat on the sleigh, thus running the risk of strewing porridge over a city when there's a strong gust of wind?
Why not a book to give him something to do while flying over the Atlantic? :irked:

Furie 29. December 2008, 23:47

Someone is giving his secret identity away. :left:

Cois 30. December 2008, 08:49

Rudolph was ever the blabbermouth :whistle:

rose-marie 30. December 2008, 10:52

For some strange reason, Santa always eats from the porridge while it's still warm... It's almost like he knows that it's there - and when it's there. :confused:

theoddbod 30. December 2008, 21:08

This can only mean one thing - Santa is your next-door neighbour! :sherlock:

rose-marie 31. December 2008, 00:27

:eyes: As long as it's not my upstairs neighbour :insane:

Furie 31. December 2008, 00:44

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake.
:insane:

Chas4 31. December 2008, 01:03

scary thought

flamingo-rinse 31. December 2008, 03:18

Originally posted by Rose:

As long as it's not my upstairs neighbour

:lol:...uhh wait...Eewwwww....thanks for that picture, Rose :eek:
I just don't want to think of Santa in...err...well, you know, and doing...you know....with what I expect would be a Reindeer which might possibly wearing makeup. And that big red nose...... p:aranoid:

rose-marie 31. December 2008, 10:26

Hey, if "she" is a reindeer, that would explain the stomping-with-clog noise from the ceiling! :eyes:

theoddbod 31. December 2008, 10:35

Have you never heard of 'Mrs Santa Claus'? Or are you assuming Santa has a closet preference for Rudolph? :insane:

Cois 31. December 2008, 10:54

Santa is Dannii? :sherlock:

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