Writer's Block

"So what do we do now?"
"We fight."
"Fight?"
"Yes, to the death."
"We WHAT?!"
"That's what it says."
"But...but..."
"En garde, Mike!"
"Hey, put that butter knife down! Yeeaaarrgghhhh!"

"Nice going, Pete. Really smart move."
"Thanks. I knew I had to strike fast before-"
"Don't thank me, you stupid twonk!"
"But...the rules?!"
"What part of 'role-playing' is confusing you?"
"I was playing an outraged knight, betrayed in love and facing his rival in a duel to the death."
"Yes. And?"
"Well, he has more hit points than me so it was important I got in the first blow, and made it a good one."
"Yes, and ordinarily we'd use a 2D20 roll, combine that with your Speed and QuickStrike attributes and subtract his Awareness and Defence stats, then work out whether you'd hit and how much damage you'd done. Not grab the butter knife and stab him with it!"
"Ah."
"You see the problem."
"Yes...sorry, Dave."
"You don't have a high enough Butter Knife skill to attempt a first strike with it - didn't you learn anything from last week?"
"It was a bar brawl scene - whacking Barry over the head with a chair was appropriate."
"Yes, but hardly feasible when you're playing a halfling and he's a giant. Did you wait for the dice? No, you just whacked him."
"I...er..."
"Well, now I've got to try and clean another mess up. Where's my Acts Of God list? Ah, there it is. Let's see what's in the Accidental Slaying section..."
"Please, not again!"
"...rolling the dice now...quit whining, Pete...and...12! Hey, you'll like this one, Pete!"
"I...I will?"
"A lightning strike! A sudden bolt of lightning frying Mike alive, and merely mildly singeing you. Of course, this destroys all his magic items that I know you were coveting, but you can't win them all."
"Mildly singeing?!"
"Oh, you'll hardly feel it, trust me. Hold out your hands."
"Well...ok."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttt!
*thud*

"And another win for the Dungeon Master!"