T N McCoy

Posts tagged with "commercials"

Random Thoughts Circa Today

Monday, 19. January 2009, 21:31:49

Why do insurance companies peddle their wares claiming they 'protect your life?' They do nothing of the kind. Vaccinations, insulin, antibiotics, Doctors, Nurses, bullet-proof vests, etc. protect your life. Life insurance is essentially gambling. With you're premiums, you're betting that your funeral and heirs will be taken care of financially, but it won't cost you much, and you can spend the bulk of your money any way you want during your life. The life insurance companies are betting that you'll survive long enough to cover most of the policy's face value and allow them to invest your premium money for income. All in all, the companies don't plan on losing, and you have the usual incentives to prolong your life [who really wants to die?] So, it isn't surprising that the insurance companies will play hardball with some estates for people who have suspicious deaths.

"Life is too precious not to protect." A decidedly misleading statement when you really think about it.
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How can a condensed soup brand advertise that it's so comfortably thick and cooked without extra water, thus improving the taste of a soup? Doesn't the manufacturer know that the can's instructions tell you to add a can of water? It seems to me that's a pretty feeble and misleading ad.
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TV commercials are often hilarious. The powers-that-be scheduling of each commercial during the prevalent three minute break can sometimes be laughable. For instance, there was an ad for Phillips OTC medicine for colon health, to help us with those sometimes difficult times in our digestive system.

So, naturally, the next commercial was for Pizza Hut---and not just plain pizza, but the 'Panormous' pizza [guaranteed to give everyone heartburn.] And often, this type of commercial is followed by a Jennie Craig or Nutri-Systems advertisement.

I think I'll insure my soup and pizza against being eaten.

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The Iron Chef v Presidential Politics

Saturday, 1. November 2008, 19:58:09

Iron Chef, Presidential Race, commercials, gold ...

Something's been bothering me for quite some time, and I think I've finally hit on it. The Presidential race reminds me of the 'Iron Chef!' In 'Iron Chef', there's an anchor off to the side and several teams of cameramen and interviewers in each of the kitchen areas. While the chefs are cooking and competing with each other, the interviewers ask them questions and otherwise bother them and listen to their boasts; and we're provided with video of their efforts. At times, especially near the end of the contest, we can sense the rush and increasing desire by the chefs for the interviewers to go away. All of this is in Japanese, and we need translators.

Finally, the prepared dishes are set up and described. Then the judges vote.

Now, move to the Presidential campaigns. All the news organizations have their anchors ensconced at their desks or walking around the news center, summarizing and overseeing their news teams. There are news/video teams all over the Country following the two campaigns and four participants. They cover their every move with cameras and microphones, and they report back through the anchor. Speeches and interviews abound. And as the campaigns enter their final few days, you can sense the rush and urgency from both sides. All of this is in political-speak, and we need translators [can you say 'spinners?']

Finally, the campaigns are over, and the people vote.

So then, the Presidential campaign is just another version of 'Iron Chef?' Maybe not as momentous, but at least similar in presentation.
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Do you want a digital message reminder? One is free if you buy a Buxton leather bag. But is it helpful? Based on history, I know that freebies rarely last very long in my house. If they aren't lost, they stop working. I have numerous tiny calculators in oblivion along with my missing socks. Others went directly to the round file.

Besides, I don't need help in remembering the shopping list of the woman in the commercial: Butter, milk, eggs. So who needs a digital reminder?
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I've never been able to keep plants. No matter how much I try or what I do, they all die on my watch rather quickly. One time I put a beautiful plant too close to a heating vent, and it dried out in no time, and I didn't have the necessary botanical knowledge to revive or save it---assuming it could be saved. My biggest problem then---besides placement in the room---is proper watering and occasional feeding. My thumb, like my wallet, is bereft of green.

Recently, I've been watching these commercials about something called an Aquaglobe. It's a long, slender glass tube topped by a big globe. You fill it with water, turn it over and stick it in the dirt of your flower pot. It keeps everything watered---or so the ad says, for two weeks. I don't really know.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'd want a blue or red globe sticking out of the dirt next to my plant [as long as it may wave.] Blue/red with white flowers? Ferns? Green plants? Yellow flowers? Cactus? Bonsai? Granted, the product may work, but the sight of it is obvious---unless that's the purpose. I wonder what damage could be done to the plant by broken glass? I know that breakage would certainly happen within a week of my buying one.

If you really like plants, you'll be caring for them on a regular basis with few problems. It's only us lazy or inept ones who can use it. If my allergies would allow it, I'd get plants again. And knowing my history, I might consider the Aquaglobe.

Speaking of allergies. Last Christmas I bought a real Christmas tree. Welllllll,,,,,, it was Christmas and it was a pine tree. It was only about 9 inches high. But it looked cute, and I didn't have enough room in the apartment or the energy to set up a full sized tree. No matter. My allergies started acting up, and it took me a week or two to fully realize the source of my misery. I threw the little demon away and my nose returned to normal.
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I don't use Cialis. When it takes a company half the commercial to tell you about the side effects---well, no way. If I ever need something I'll ask Bob. But as for Cialis, I don't have two movable, cast iron bathtubs to set on a platform facing the sea. Can you imagine that? What's so sexy about sitting in two bathtubs drinking wine? [If I hadn't seen the first part, I'd think it was a bathtub commercial.] It isn't a very good sale for togetherness by having the two principals setting up the platform and lugging a couple of immensely heavy cast iron tubs over the sand and up the walkway. I wonder? Do they have to sit there the entire 36 hours? I hope not. Anyway, I'll stick to oysters and champagne.
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I wonder if the woman on tv can get police help to stop Mr Mop and Mr Duster from stalking and harassing her? 'Baby come back!' By the way, how does a discarded duster come up with the coin to pay for three fancily-attired singers? Actually, I bought a swiffer recently, but I've had no requests from my mop for reinstatement. If it sent me a candy gram, I'd grab the box of candy before slamming the door.
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There seems to be a real desire out there to buy old gold and jewelry from all of us. As one buyer tells us, '...gold is at a twenty year haa-igh...' A different spokesman brags that his company '...has already given out $1 million to our customers...' A sentence or two later, asks viewers to '...call us today and get your share of the $1 million...' Huh? Does that mean the $1 million already given out is going to be brought back for redistribution to others? Whatever happened to literate copy writers? Is this another 'share the wealth' program? Oh well, at least I remember when Old Gold was just a cigarette brand.

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Random Thoughts October

Tuesday, 21. October 2008, 01:19:20

spoonerisms, crossword puzzles, Newspapers, puns ...

Campbell Soup's new commercial states that it's condensed soups are great tasting in part because they are made with less water. That sort of negates the name 'condensed', doesn't it? Besides, if less water is so great, why is it the directions on the can call for you to add a can of water?

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There are numerous drug commercials on tv these days---probably too many. And I saw a personnel ad about them.

'Fast speaker needed. Must be able to spout hundreds of drug side effects in thirty seconds while sitting at a desk and not moving a muscle---and yet making the product seem like the best thing since sliced bread---if you forget about the 1001 side effects. Things are made easier by having the person sitting across from you [supposedly listening] sit frozen and without batting an eyelash.'

So, did that ever happen to you? Did you sit across a desk from a doctor who spoke to you like a robot? And did you sit frozen and stare at him? That guy listening doesn't seem to react to any of the side effects!

Some of these medical commercials are so out of touch with reality you have to wonder about the product itself. I have to laugh when hearing them state all the side effects. After listening to them---spouted by fake doctors or woman friends---one has to wonder why we should be taking them in the first place.
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I'm really tired of unwelcomed advertisements. I work on three crossword puzzles every day from several web sites: USA Today; Boston Globe; and LA Times. The latter two are fine, but USA Today is driving me crazy.

I go to the 'Life' page and the top part is covered by an advertisement. Sometimes I can close it, sometimes I can't. When I reach the crossword puzzle link I click on it. But the big block of ever-changing design for the puzzle has a video ad in the center of it. I have to listen to it until the end, then it turns into the puzzle.

Friday I went there, and I found an ad in lieu of the puzzle! I had to listen to it as it ran and disappeared. Only after that did the puzzle appear.

I'm sorry for the newspaper declines. That's life, and the companies are just going to have to deal with it without stomping on my toes. I don't believe I should have to be constantly inundated with ads in whatever I want to do on the net.

Even television has gone computer in its advertising. Sometimes, the whole bottom of the screen becomes a pop-up ad. Nothing like messing with the program on at the time, is there? I can't tell you how many times I thought someone was running out onto the racing lane during a NASCAR event. It's bad enough we have to endure commercial breaks, but men running out on the lanes and changing tires is a little too much.

I predict that there will be a time in the near future when the balance will tip. The ads will exceed the programs. They're like taxes. I can understand a reasonable amount of both, but the powers-that-be just go overboard on a regular basis no matter what they promise you.
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According to fun-with-words.com , 'Spoonerisms are phrases, sentences, or words in language with swapped sounds. Usually this happens by accident, particularly if you're speaking fast. Come and wook out of the lindow is an example.'

I find them in daily life quite often, and they're always lood for a gaugh. Like puns, they should NOT be occasions for groans. Some of the groaners out there are the biggest users of puns: Headline Writers, for example. Spoonerisms and puns are part of our life and examples of the mind moving slower [or faster, depending on the source] than the mouth due to some previous comment that hasn't quite left our consciousnesses.

'Spoonerisms' are so named after the Reverend William Spooner [1844-1930], a Dean and Warden of New College, Oxford University, England. He was plagued with these 'verbal slips' of the tongue on many occasions: 'fighting a liar' for 'lighting a fire'; 'nosey little cook' for 'cosy little nook'; 'you've tasted two worms' for 'you've wasted two terms; and so on. At a naval review, he extolled 'this vast display of cattle ships and bruisers' or take his aside to a new bridegroom: 'son, it is now kisstomary to cuss the bride.'

These verbal twists are essentially phonetic transpositions because they are more switched sounds than simply switched letters. In fact, large portions of words can be switched, for example: 'manahuman soup' for 'superhuman man.'

And there's no chance of running out of ammunition. English has over three times the words as any other language, so it's not surprising that so many 'verbal slips' can be created---not on purpose, mind you, but created nevertheless.

The 'words' web site also records that 'Radio announcer Harry Von Zell once introduced the president as Hoobert Heever. And Lowell Thomas presented British Minister Sir. Stafford Cripps as Sir. Stifford Craps.'

So please, friends, go out and spake some moonerisms. You'll enjoy life a little more.

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