I am an Aspergian (1)
Saturday, 19. May 2007, 17:35:05
I was always different. But I didn’t know there was a diagnosis for it. It’s called Asperger syndrome (AS) or high-functioning autism (HFA). They are types of autism spectrum disorders. Autism spectrum disorders range from classical autism to milder forms like high-functioning autism and Asperger syndrome.
The difference between Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism is that individuals with Asperger syndrome don't have a language delay. In autism, single words aren't acquired before two years of age. My mother says that the first words in my case were acquired at one and a half years of age (depending on what she considered as words), while I started to speak fluently only around three years of age. I also started to walk much later than other children, at two years of age. Children with AS usually have a history of developmental delays in motor skills.
Wikipedia says: 'AS individuals lack the ability to recognize and understand the thoughts and feelings of others. They are unable to interpret or understand the desires or intentions of others and therefore it is difficult to predict what to expect of others or what others may expect of them. This often leads to social awkwardness and inappropriate behavior.'
When I have first read the description of AS, I felt relieved yet also frightened, that I was actually reading my life story. Although, considering this language delay, I may have HFA, since language delays are prohibiting a diagnosis of AS as defined by the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). I am somehow on the boundary and moreover there is some consensus in the scientific community that the absence of language delay criterion for AS should be eliminated. Anyway, to answer this question I need to pursue the official diagnosis and I will.
So far I took all three most common tests available online and in all of them I came out as ‘very likely to be an aspie’. The most important thing for me to believe that I am one of them is the fact that all of my differences from neurological typical (NT) people suddenly started to make sense. Suddenly there was an explanation for all of it.
As a child I was a difficult case for my parents. If I was their first, I guess they would not think of having any other one. I used to cry all the time and was always problematic in company of other children. While being alone I was very calm. I could spend hours playing with a belt wringing it in and out. Repetitive behavior profiles in AS and HFA.
I never liked games and sports where I had to play with more people. I like sports where I can rely only on myself. Although, I never really excelled in any. I like to do bicycle touring, where I can be alone in middle of nowhere. I like swimming, where I put on glasses and head into water and close like that from the outside world. Swimming was one of my last obsessions. Aspies have often narrow interests or preoccupation with a certain subject. I used to swim seven days a week for two hours without break. In secondary school I used to do karate. But the trainings were not enough. I went to library and studied the techniques into smallest details. I attended a competition in karate kata for beginners, where I fought with imaginary enemy (of course I didn’t like fighting with real people) and won the first place. Right after that I lost my interest in doing karate and focused on completing the secondary school and then doing the master's at the university.
The difference between Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism is that individuals with Asperger syndrome don't have a language delay. In autism, single words aren't acquired before two years of age. My mother says that the first words in my case were acquired at one and a half years of age (depending on what she considered as words), while I started to speak fluently only around three years of age. I also started to walk much later than other children, at two years of age. Children with AS usually have a history of developmental delays in motor skills.
Wikipedia says: 'AS individuals lack the ability to recognize and understand the thoughts and feelings of others. They are unable to interpret or understand the desires or intentions of others and therefore it is difficult to predict what to expect of others or what others may expect of them. This often leads to social awkwardness and inappropriate behavior.'
When I have first read the description of AS, I felt relieved yet also frightened, that I was actually reading my life story. Although, considering this language delay, I may have HFA, since language delays are prohibiting a diagnosis of AS as defined by the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). I am somehow on the boundary and moreover there is some consensus in the scientific community that the absence of language delay criterion for AS should be eliminated. Anyway, to answer this question I need to pursue the official diagnosis and I will.
So far I took all three most common tests available online and in all of them I came out as ‘very likely to be an aspie’. The most important thing for me to believe that I am one of them is the fact that all of my differences from neurological typical (NT) people suddenly started to make sense. Suddenly there was an explanation for all of it.
As a child I was a difficult case for my parents. If I was their first, I guess they would not think of having any other one. I used to cry all the time and was always problematic in company of other children. While being alone I was very calm. I could spend hours playing with a belt wringing it in and out. Repetitive behavior profiles in AS and HFA.
I never liked games and sports where I had to play with more people. I like sports where I can rely only on myself. Although, I never really excelled in any. I like to do bicycle touring, where I can be alone in middle of nowhere. I like swimming, where I put on glasses and head into water and close like that from the outside world. Swimming was one of my last obsessions. Aspies have often narrow interests or preoccupation with a certain subject. I used to swim seven days a week for two hours without break. In secondary school I used to do karate. But the trainings were not enough. I went to library and studied the techniques into smallest details. I attended a competition in karate kata for beginners, where I fought with imaginary enemy (of course I didn’t like fighting with real people) and won the first place. Right after that I lost my interest in doing karate and focused on completing the secondary school and then doing the master's at the university.
WIDGETIZE
JENNIE # 16. June 2007, 01:38
Anonymous # 29. June 2007, 23:08
Hi man, just visiting from WP. Ahh, we could be twins! your stories fit me like a glove.
nice blog!
see ya!
Vassago # 30. June 2007, 16:00