My OperaI am an Aspergian (4)
Saturday, May 19, 2007 5:30:58 PM
‘Clothing and personal hygiene - people with AS tend to be less affected by peer pressure than others. As a result, they often do what is comfortable and are unconcerned about their impact on others.’ To be comfortable is most important in clothing, since people with AS have sensory issues. I don’t wear any jewelry or watches, no body art, which is supposed to be an external part of my body for prolonged period of time. I usually wear simple white t-shirt. Even sleeping under blanket is uncomfortable. The bed-sheets and the cover are uncomfortable. That’s one of the reasons why to fall asleep takes me at least an hour and I also change the sleeping positions many times during the night. I also have hard time to overcome the unsettling feeling when I put on the sun glasses. Specially when I was small, I lied down on the floor with the glasses on and tortured myself to leave them on until I got used to it.
‘Reciprocal love and grief - since people with AS have difficulty emotionally, their expressions of affection and grief are often short and weak.’ I have never been in love in my entire life. AS has often been considered to be incompatible with love. That’s what bothers me most. Am I going to live my life without knowing what it is like to be in love? First of all, I need to revere the person for his/her personality to appreciate the company. I take these things strongly from the logical point of view. What is the point of being in grief if I cannot change what happened? The grief goes away, eventually. It’s only our choice if it is going to last years, days, or seconds.
‘Lack of participation in chitchat - they are not generally interested in, and do not participate in idle chat and gossip.’ Once I heard my schoolmates at the university gossiping somebody I knew too. While listening to it, I realized they were right about him. But it would not strike me before I heard them talking about it. It is not that I would not know about it, but I just never saw the point of thinking about it. Actually, I find a small talk annoying. For example, I never ask people how they are. I’ve never seen the point of doing that. I see them alive in front of me; they are apparently OK, so why should I ask that? Also, I don't like being asked how I am. I don't think about how I am. My answer is always the same: "I’ve never been better". Most people after some time stop asking me how I am, since they know my answer already. However, there are some who enjoy asking me that question every time because they are happy to hear somebody so positive.
‘Preference of routine - they prefer routine work, and are not able to cope well to changes, even small ones. Such disruptions from routine can cause stress and anxiety.’ When the day is somehow special that I am supposed to perform something out of routine, I usually don’t do much work that day. If I start doing something I want to be doing it until I finish it. I hate interrupting things. Therefore I wake up at the same time of day, have lunch at the same time, and go sleep at the same time. That way it is easier to organize the day. When I lived with my parents we used to have the same kind of soup at Sundays. I didn’t like when my mother tried to change it. When I am used to something I know what to expect. When I agree with somebody to go to movies I program myself for that event. I don’t like when the person cancels the agreement, because then I have to reprogram myself again.
‘Coping with criticism - people with AS are compelled to correct mistakes, even when they are made by someone in a position of authority, such as a teacher. For this reason, they can be unwittingly offensive.’ A friend of mine told me that I am eager to correct people. I had to be apologizing for doing that, many times. I just don’t see why it should be inappropriate.
‘Formal mannerisms and etiquette - their etiquette is formal, even within the family. Their speech may be interlaced with "thank you" or "please" or "good evening" more than necessary.’ I do that all the time. People I know for years asked me to be less formal with them.
‘Reciprocal love and grief - since people with AS have difficulty emotionally, their expressions of affection and grief are often short and weak.’ I have never been in love in my entire life. AS has often been considered to be incompatible with love. That’s what bothers me most. Am I going to live my life without knowing what it is like to be in love? First of all, I need to revere the person for his/her personality to appreciate the company. I take these things strongly from the logical point of view. What is the point of being in grief if I cannot change what happened? The grief goes away, eventually. It’s only our choice if it is going to last years, days, or seconds.
‘Lack of participation in chitchat - they are not generally interested in, and do not participate in idle chat and gossip.’ Once I heard my schoolmates at the university gossiping somebody I knew too. While listening to it, I realized they were right about him. But it would not strike me before I heard them talking about it. It is not that I would not know about it, but I just never saw the point of thinking about it. Actually, I find a small talk annoying. For example, I never ask people how they are. I’ve never seen the point of doing that. I see them alive in front of me; they are apparently OK, so why should I ask that? Also, I don't like being asked how I am. I don't think about how I am. My answer is always the same: "I’ve never been better". Most people after some time stop asking me how I am, since they know my answer already. However, there are some who enjoy asking me that question every time because they are happy to hear somebody so positive.
‘Preference of routine - they prefer routine work, and are not able to cope well to changes, even small ones. Such disruptions from routine can cause stress and anxiety.’ When the day is somehow special that I am supposed to perform something out of routine, I usually don’t do much work that day. If I start doing something I want to be doing it until I finish it. I hate interrupting things. Therefore I wake up at the same time of day, have lunch at the same time, and go sleep at the same time. That way it is easier to organize the day. When I lived with my parents we used to have the same kind of soup at Sundays. I didn’t like when my mother tried to change it. When I am used to something I know what to expect. When I agree with somebody to go to movies I program myself for that event. I don’t like when the person cancels the agreement, because then I have to reprogram myself again.
‘Coping with criticism - people with AS are compelled to correct mistakes, even when they are made by someone in a position of authority, such as a teacher. For this reason, they can be unwittingly offensive.’ A friend of mine told me that I am eager to correct people. I had to be apologizing for doing that, many times. I just don’t see why it should be inappropriate.
‘Formal mannerisms and etiquette - their etiquette is formal, even within the family. Their speech may be interlaced with "thank you" or "please" or "good evening" more than necessary.’ I do that all the time. People I know for years asked me to be less formal with them.
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