Walk in Beauty

• I am not very competent in handling the English language. For reasons unknown to me some native speakers of English seem to have got the impression that my skills in their language are much better than they really are. So I think that a warning may be appropriate. Some of the oddities in my texts may simply be caused by my linguistic limitations. And there is a rather high risk that I misunderstand what I read.
  
• Everything that I write is my personal opinion. I do not believe in objectivity. As an ideal, yes, but not as something that really is possible for a human to reach. I am subjective. And I know that I am.
  
• My character has flaws, some of which may be serious. While I may not quite be the arrogant, self-righteous, narrowminded, ignorant hypocrite and opportunist that some would like to believe, I am not an angel either. Beware. You may get hurt if you allow yourself to be defenseless towards me.
  

You know a wishing-well from real life? This wishing-well has no water in it and you cannot throw coins into it, so it will have to work on something else.

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The great German gymnast Eberhard Ginger was interviewed at the end of his illustrious carrier and in a rather arrogant manner the journalist confronted him with the fact that he had failed miserably on some occasions when the expectations had been especially high. This interview was in the early 80'es and in those days there was a high moral pressure on West German elite athletes to gain results of the very highest order, especially in those sports where East Germany and the Soviet Union were strong.

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It has always been a mystery to me why those people who love me, do so. Well, not in every individual case. There is at least one person whose love for me seems to be quite logical. From the first time she focused on me at a very young age she has always seen unconditional love in my eyes and heard it in the sound of my voice. The same is to a lesser extent true of a few others, but the general picture is still the same:

In most of those cases where people have loved me I have no idea why they did. (And in some cases still do.) And I am not always an easy person to love. It's a sad fact that quite a few people one way or another have had sorrow and pain because of their love for me.

But then perhaps it is really not my business. Those who love me, do it for whatever reason they may have, and that is quite alright. Perhaps it has very little to do with my being what and how I am. Perhaps they simply love me because they love me.

Elizabeth Barrett wrote about that attitude in a poem to Robert Browning:

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile — her look — her way
Of speaking gently, — for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry, —
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.