I am addicted. Addicted to cigarettes, I am also intoxicating myself whenever I can with alcohol and I am occasionally using weed. My life "flows" without me noticing it and I am stuck.
Does the second sentence specify that I've got a problem? Psychologically - if I am thinking about it, and then even writing it, this should be highlighted - somewhere in my head I am telling myself that I need a kick, a push to sort things out and start living my life.
Everything is available these days. You can google everything, or everyone.
YOur boss knows everything from your facebook profile, your family and friends know where you are every minute of your life. There just isn't enough space.
That's why I have got two blogs. This one is totally unspecified. You should not be able to lik "me" to the real life person when you read it. And that's why I mostly put depressing stuff here...
It's like the case of having your own hiding place, instead of going to a therapy...
Something's up. It will happen or not. I don't want it to happen, but it's not my choice. I was scared of the consequence of this, but now it hit me that I have nothing to say here whatsoever. I will be left alone. I am left alone already. We just live together...
Nothing interesting happened at work this week. I still hate it and can't wait to go on holiday...
My herbs started growing now!!!! I have loads of green friends outside XD. I need to find a present for my friend tomorrow. It's his birthday and I am rubbish in male presents:| gEEEEz It will probably end up with a book anyway... as always...
Emo is not really my kind of music. Somehow I thought about these lyrics when sitting at home today.
When we need attention - there is noone near. I know it for a fact. It is much better now, then it was before. I think I am borderline, or maybe was. Now I can see when I am not feeling too well and I notice the signs and I can stop myself from thinking black... It used to be very hard.
Now when it's raining outside - I am glad to be there and absorb every rain drop. Although it makes me wet - it doesn't affect me...
Winer is gone now. My herbs are growing and cat get's all crazy about the smell. He is sleeping. All day long. The rythm of his breath... I am feeling abandoned again. Should I prepare a love potion? Would it work? Would I like it after a while? does it feel good to make someone feel what you feel to them? Should you not wait? Should I not be a good girl?
Winer is gone now. My herbs are growing and cat get's all crazy about the smell. He is sleeping. All day long. The rythm of his breath... I am feeling abandoned again. Should I prepare a love potion? Would it work? Would I like it after a while? does it feel good to make someone feel what you feel to them? Should you not wait? Should I not be a good girl?
I've dissapeared for some time. It is so hard to get on track again. So many things have changed in my life - I have to start new blog. I need a fresh point.
My Opera
