April Fool's Day article
Tuesday, 1. April 2008, 18:19:21
Union Cycliste International (UCI) is the governing body for elite road and track cycling. It was only a matter of time before we got this latest bit of news from the UCI website:
http://www.uci.ch/templates/UCI/UCI5/doping/placebos
The UCI, WADA and the IOC have finally agreed on something, to ban the use of placebos in the sport of professional cycling and in sports in general. For many years there has been overwhelming evidence that placebos are among the most effective performance enhancing substances, rivaling steroids and even EPO in their efficacy.
Former WADA chief Dick Pound told reporters today “This is my legacy, a culmination of many years of work and I’m proud to have finally been part of this agreement between WADA, the IOC and the UCI in this War on Doping”.
Dick went on to say, “The medical evidence to support the performance enhancing effects of doping is irrefutable. Athletes taking placebos have an unfair advantage. They are cheats”.
John Fahey the new WADA chief commented. “That Dick has gotten this agreement between the UCI and WADA is astounding”.
So just how will the policy of banning placebos use be implemented?
Pound explained, “The WADA policy as far as placebos goes will be exactly the same as the policy of nutritional supplements, i.e. the athlete is responsible for what they ingest. If the supplements are contaminated with banned substances and the athlete tests positive then they will be banned even if they can prove the contamination is from the supplements. Hence the athlete who is found positive for taking placebos will be banned, even if they don’t realize they have taken placebos.”
The discredited Doctor Fuentes has been highly critical of this latest drug policy. Fuentes was recently discovered to be selling stockpiles of vast supplies of placebos that he used during testing of his blood doping products.
Pound summed up “This is the year of the Olympics, the greatest sporting event on the planet. Athletes taking placebos are cheats and they must be banned from all sports. The Games must not be tarnished by athletes. No one wants to see athletes in the Olympics Games.”
http://www.uci.ch/templates/UCI/UCI5/doping/placebos
The UCI, WADA and the IOC have finally agreed on something, to ban the use of placebos in the sport of professional cycling and in sports in general. For many years there has been overwhelming evidence that placebos are among the most effective performance enhancing substances, rivaling steroids and even EPO in their efficacy.
Former WADA chief Dick Pound told reporters today “This is my legacy, a culmination of many years of work and I’m proud to have finally been part of this agreement between WADA, the IOC and the UCI in this War on Doping”.
Dick went on to say, “The medical evidence to support the performance enhancing effects of doping is irrefutable. Athletes taking placebos have an unfair advantage. They are cheats”.
John Fahey the new WADA chief commented. “That Dick has gotten this agreement between the UCI and WADA is astounding”.
So just how will the policy of banning placebos use be implemented?
Pound explained, “The WADA policy as far as placebos goes will be exactly the same as the policy of nutritional supplements, i.e. the athlete is responsible for what they ingest. If the supplements are contaminated with banned substances and the athlete tests positive then they will be banned even if they can prove the contamination is from the supplements. Hence the athlete who is found positive for taking placebos will be banned, even if they don’t realize they have taken placebos.”
The discredited Doctor Fuentes has been highly critical of this latest drug policy. Fuentes was recently discovered to be selling stockpiles of vast supplies of placebos that he used during testing of his blood doping products.
Pound summed up “This is the year of the Olympics, the greatest sporting event on the planet. Athletes taking placebos are cheats and they must be banned from all sports. The Games must not be tarnished by athletes. No one wants to see athletes in the Olympics Games.”
WIDGETIZE
Michelle # 10. April 2008, 11:02
nobody should be taking anything, ever. unless it's been approved as being fair.