WebMDave on Opera

From: james
Date: Mon, Mar 10, 2008 at 9:11 PM


Hey Guys,

Just wanted to fill you guys in a bit. I have been heavy burdened the
past few months. My heart has been very heavy and weighed down.
Nothing in particular brought this feeling about (no person, radio,
doctrine etc), but I started noticing things. I started noticing that
this entire world is a lie (i.e. celebrity immorality, corruption in
politics, hyprocritical laws etc.). How we know deep inside what right
and wrong is, everyone does. How we above all other creatures wonder
where we came from and have an inner being very unique. How, the human
eye, couldn't have possibly come about by pure chance. (Take a look at
your eye closely in the mirror, you will see EXACTLY what I mean) How
marriage is good and having multiple partners ruins lives. I see this
all the time with my colleagues. How when certain rules are followed,
life is happier, and when some rules aren't followed, we are
miserable. How we are unhappy even when all of our needs are 110% met.
How everyone seems to be worshiping something. How the sun is 400
times the size of the moon, but the moon is 400 times closer so they
appear nearly the EXACT same size when viewed from earth. But most of
all, how I had a horrible guilt in my heart for no apparent reason,
and how I couldn't even look myself in the mirror and see myself as
good. Believe me, I had rationalized God away, but I could not hide
from these facts. Simply stated a watch points to a watch maker. I
have realized that the whether to believe in God or not isn't an
intellectual question (just look around, look at your eye, its
indisputable) but rather a moral one. Even a child knows there is
something bigger than him/herself. So now you're thinking "So because
there are things we cannot explain, that makes Jesus God?" I am sure
that both of you are far more educated on Biblical things than I. I
would never have a Bible debate with you. However, if you look deep
into your soul, you will realize that you are a horrible grotesque
thing obsessed and enslaved to worshipping whatever God it is you are
worshipping. You know that Jesus is God. It fits too right with human
nature. Why is that nearly every curse word has J.C. or G.D. or a
variation of these? Not buddah, not Allah, not whatever. Why are we
offended when people talk about Jesus but not other religions. Why
when you read the Red Words of the Bible are you convicted? Why do you
know homosexuality is wrong (regardless of what you say)?

I started reading the Bible you guys gave me when I was 12 going to
SRCA. The words of Paul in 1 Corinthians were the first thing I read.
1Cor 2:14, 1 Cor 3:18-20 specifically. Evolution is crap. It was like
a knife shooting straight to the heart. I read more and more. I have
read the Bible for years and it was all dead words before, I felt now
they were talking to my soul. The Bible verses I had memorized in the
past, (partly thanks to you), started flooding my mind. Once again, I
didn't hear a pastor, or go to church or anything like that, I just
saw humans and daily life and realized the truth. I fought it for a
while, telling myself that I could never live how this Book told me
to. But the conviction was FAR too great, I couldn't live with myself.
I had already realized too much. To make a long story short, I finally
accepted. And failed and accepted again, and a few more times, but now
here I am. I tell guys at work now, and they take me for weird, but
its ok, I am so free! I used to think that Christians talking about
the feeling of Holy Spirit was a bunch of bologna, but once I truly
surrendered, I felt something like NEVER before. Not a cheap emotion
like listening to a song, it is such a strong and unexplainable
feeling. I have NEVER had this feeling in my life. It is the feeling
the God is real and so comforting and I can't help but smile. Shaina
always said she had it but, I thought she was full of it and she just
believed because she grew up around it. But oh no, its is truly truly
real. God wants our hearts, not works like Roman Catholics. That's
what we were made to do, that's why we're not happy. If we all
followed the 10 commandments, we'd be happy. The church you guys went
to are right, God does choose people. I.e. "No one comes to the me
unless the Father draw him" and many more verses. I would never brand
myself with a title such as "Calvinist" or something, because that
sounds militant and man made, but a lot of his principles are truly
Biblical. Because I wasn't looking for it, I was rejecting it! I
wasn't searching at all, it was completely overwhelming. Like a
sledgehammer in my heart. My life has improved so much and Shaina and
I have never been happier. I am not a slave to things anymore, and my
whole thought process has changed. I would gladly die for the gospel
any day of the week now. And you guys know me, surely not James right?
But truly I am realizing that we are nothing more than renters and
passersby in this world. Nothing matters except for adoring God. I am
sure that you both know this as you have searched and read and
searched and read for years, and never found your answers, or so you
thought. Maybe it was the thought process and a lack of humility.
Maybe it was that you thought the pastors knew less than you and it
irritated you. Maybe it was that you were using Christianity as a
vehicle though which to be better than others and have an answer for
every question. Maybe you were harboring a sin that you wouldn't own
up to, maybe to do with my mother. Maybe you had pride and arrogance.
I don't know, only you do, but what I do know is, is that in your
heart you KNOW there is God, and Jesus is HIM. I get bombarded daily
by Satan with horrible thoughts, but God keeps my faith steady. I
didn't write this letter to judge you both, but to give you hope out
of love and to tell you of the new wonderful and everlasting life I've
embarked on with my family. I am no good person, and have nothing to
offer God but a guilty conscience and a host of sins, but HE is truly
merciful. I am sure that I will still reap things that I have sown.
But that's how it goes. I'm not going to try to convert you or save
you from hell or anything, you know what is true. I am just saying
that I love you guys and this is where I stand in life if you care to
know. Maybe you don't, and that's fine. But I hope you will forgive
any wrong that I have ever done to you all. I don't want any grudges
harbored. This might be a bit corny writing something this deep in an
email. But the phone would be too akward, and I write much easier than
I talk. It would be best in person, but obviously we are far apart. We
are hoping to come up soon though. I want to get baptized at Shaina's
church and make it my home church as well. Guess what? I don't agree
with all their doctrines, Christians aren't perfect including myself,
but His grace is sufficient for us regardless of the minute
differences. The thing that I am really learning is that in order to
truly follow Christ, we must live every day a living sacrifice,
mortifying this flesh and live in the Spirit. I am alive for the first
time. Sorry to keep going and going, I am just so happy. Dad, you
consider yourself a free/introspective thinker, well think long and
hard and honestly on things, see what answers you get. Anyway,
attached is a song that I thought is really cool. Hopefully you all
will listen. We love you all- James



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Hi James,

Sally forwarded your email to me. Since I was mentioned in it, I
figured I'd respond.

I'd just like you to know that I love you no matter where or how life
leads you. You don't have to do, think, or be anything at all to earn
my love. You have it automatically, no questions asked.

As for the rest of your letter, it isn't uncommon for sons and fathers
to not see eye to eye and still have a lot of love going around. I
don't agree with my father on much. Dan certainly doesn't march to my
beat. Let's face it, James, when you lived with me I was woefully
inadequate when it came to measurably changing your thinking on
anything. The point is, you and I have always seen things a bit
differently. But I'm finally OK with that. All I've really ever wanted
for you is that you be happy. If you're happy, then I'm content, and I
gladly support you in whatever path you take.

All my love,
Dad





Mar 12, 2008 10:32 PM

Hi Dad,



I appreciate your response. But in other words you agree to disagree. That's fine I suppose. You know what's truth and I don't feel a need to try and convert you. Not my job anyway. It didn't come on a whim sending that last email, however. Honestly I was quite terrified, but I felt I had to. Really, I have been quite intimidated by you and Sally, especially you, my entire life. Even now. And you are quite wrong on you not changing my thinking. I have become a lot of who I am today because of many values learned though you. Your work ethic didn't go unnoticed, family values, financial wisdom, and many other subtle things. Honestly if God had not put me in your house, I would have probably been in jail or dead. Really! Problem is, when sin (or living outside how we were made to) gets in the picture and I end up living with you when I'm 12 instead of from the beginning, there's a lot of set rooted ideals already in a kid's head that will be there no matter what. Things as they should have been get distorted and you can't function normally as a family. But truly I have always been intimidated by you, it might be masked with conjured confidence, but its there. I think we are in many ways alike in that respect. Unwaivering and 100% sure and confident on the outside, but on the inside a war is raging and you feel like a scared child. You've always seemed so sure of yourself and confident no matter what was going on, or what you were believing in at the time. Whatever you were doing in life was right, and you had such conviction about everything. And so believeable Even now, I loath confrontation with you, and would do anything to avoid conflict. But then our relationship would be complete fluff, and there would be no love there. The only reason I speak is because I know you are lost and it is burning a hole right through me. You always wanted a deeper relationship with me, well now you got it, but truth shines light on nasty cobwebs. Even now I wouldn't reach this far out if I wasn't 100% sure of what I was talking about. It took every bit of courage I had to open this email. In fact I didn't. I had Shaina open it because I was too nervous. This isn't fun for me, I feel as though I'm acting out of character. But its healthy. The fact that you are a militant enemy of God proves you believe in Him and you are trying desperately to rationalize Him away with flawed logic and support. Don't you know God chooses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, lest they come to repentance? You are honestly the smartest and most well read person I know flat out, yet it just proves that no matter how much you know, if you harbor something from God, what you know means NOTHING. The only reason I can say that confidently is because I know myself. Hopefully you will one day become a fool again so that you can finally become wise. Every time I read about the elect falling away in the last days to the doctrines of men, I see this world and you. I will tell you thank you for instilling (unwillingly I might add LOL) Bible knowledge in me. You are probably embarassed about that part of your past, but it was all dormant in my head and now coming in handy every day. You were used whether you know it or not.



Anyway, not to drag on and on. But I know you more than you think I do. You keep many things in your head, but the bottom line is you'll never get the answers you want without asking the right questions. But that normally means huge life changes and thats never any fun. Highly worth it though :-) But what do I know, just an uneducated 23 year old LOL. I was influenced by you more than you'll know. Anyway, I don't want to have some huge e-battle or something. I'll leave this alone if you want, and leave it at that. If you so choose, we can just agree to disagree.



Love,

James





Mar 13, 2008 7:19 AM

Hi James,

Well, at least we're finally talking after such a long silence. That's
a good thing!

I'm sorry I still make you feel intimidated. You needn't feel that way
anymore. I have no illusions of having any parental authority over you.
You're a man in your own right -- my "daddy" days are over.

James, since you want it open and honest, here goes:

You said, "Honestly if God had not put me in your house, I would have
probably been in jail or dead." I have thought something similar to
this, but with a slightly different twist. The way I might phrase
things is, "If I had not handed over $30,000 or so to lawyers, paid
for plane tickets, driven thousands of miles, paid 2-3 times the child
support required by law, and done everything in my power to eventually
get custody of James, then he would likely have been in jail or dead."
I hope you see in difference in the two thoughts. I hope you see why
the difference matters. One thing that has always irritated me about
Christianity, especially fundamentalist Christianity like the brand
with which you have aligned yourself, is that people get all the blame
for the bad things in the world, yet those same people seem to get
none of the credit for the good things. You said, "If God hadn't..."
The fact is, James, if I hadn't loved you so much, you wouldn't have
lived with us ever. In fact, if I hadn't loved you, you wouldn't know
me at all. Other men advised me to just let it go. They told me even
trying to keep up a relationship would be nothing but heartache, pain
and torture. Quite frankly, they were right. The many challenges you
and your situation posed put quite a strain on things at times. Even
now I'm being preached down at by you, though I realize you don't see
it that way. Here's what you said as to why I am no longer a
Christian: "Maybe it was [...] lack of humility [...] you thought the
pastors knew less than you [...] you were using Christianity as a
vehicle though which to be better than others [...] you were harboring
a sin that you wouldn't own up to [...] you had pride and arrogance.
[...] The fact that you are a militant enemy of God... "

There are other possibilities that you left out, James. Maybe I just
finally broke free of religious indoctrination and delusion. Maybe
Christianity is bunk and I eventually figured that out.

The fact is, you didn't ask me why I no longer call myself a
Christian. You made assumptions and accusations. Frankly, without any
preamble, and after years of barely a word exchanged, I find your
approach a bit rude and presumptuous. You have only known me through a
child's eyes. And that child was incapable of serious conversation.
All I could ever hope to achieve with that child was restraining him
from self-destructive behavior.

James, I was a Christian for 30 years. I had what I believed at the
time was an encounter with God when I was 11 years old. After that
mind blowing experience I started reading the Bible like a fiend. By
the time I was 12, I was a counselor at a Billy Graham crusade held at
Shea's Theater in Ashtabula. I street witnessed, spent all my paper
route money on tracts, carried a Bible at public school, preached to
everyone, stuck Bible verse bumper stickers on everything I owned, led
classmates and fellow boy scouts to Christ. One of those scouts is a
Baptist pastor in Warren to this day. I started up Bible studies in
junior high school. For the next 30 years, I remained a Christian. I
wasn't always the best Christian, but I was still a Christian. I've
been the choir director, the sound man, a musician, a teacher, a home
bible study leader, an English evangelist to the Japanese, passed out
thousands of dollars worth of tracts and given mountains of money to
various Christian ministries. I've done all these things in dozens and
dozens of churches around the world. Sal, Dan, Alex and I even had a
traveling Christian band for awhile, playing Christian music in
churches and geriatric centers throughout Ashtabula County. We home
schooled Dan and Alex through elementary school, paid tuition for
three at South Ridge, and paid tuition for two at St. Johns. On top of
that, I've invested in and read piles of books, studied and researched
the history and development of Christianity, the evolutionary process
that resulted in the Bible, the development of theology, as well as
the writings of many of the greatest Christian theologians in history.
For years I was absolutely 100% sure of my position. I was
dogmatically convinced I was right. Then, over the course my last few
years in Christianity, when I was delving more deeply than I ever had
into Christianity's history and development, I started allowing myself
to think a little outside my self-imposed Christian box. You say "I am
100% sure." You would be more accurate if you said, "I believe I am
100% sure." Over the next 25 years, I can guarantee you will change
your mind about a great many things that you feel quite confident
about today. We all do.

I put up a short testimonial on the Internet that fills in a few more
details of my decision to abandon religion. You may have read it
already, I don't know. If not, here it is:
http://exchristian.net/exchristian/2002/04/sabbatical-or-my-anti-testimony.php.
Oh, and in case you also didn't know, that's one of my websites.

Again, if you're happy in religion, James, I have nothing against you
or it. I was fully immersed in that for most of my life. It still
drips heavily from my fingertips as I type. You said that the reason I
was a "militant enemy of god" is because I still believe in him. I'm
afraid I'm a bit more complex than that worn out Christian apologetic.
When I de-converted, I had no one to talk to, and I still had a head
full of theology. I posted my testimonial to the Internet and found
out that there were thousands of people out there who also need
someone to relate to on this topic. People with Christian spouses,
families, neighborhoods. People who no longer believed in
Christianity, but had no one to talk to except Christians. And all
Christians can do when confronted with an apostate is preach, and
that's not helpful. I don't go seeking out Christians to argue with;
they come to argue with me. I never bring the subject up -- they do. I
don't attack Christians, but Christians, because Christianity is an
evangelistic religion, cannot merely accept that not everyone
believes in their religion. If seeking out people to talk to is being
a "militant enemy" to the Almighty, then I guess that's what I've
become.

Regardless, I must finish with this: You brought this topic up, I
didn't. I would never do anything to discourage you, argue with you
or your family, or try to change the minds of your children about
anything you had taught them. I only wrote this much because you
wanted to go beyond "fluff." One problem with families who don't hold
the same views on religion is that there tends to be an artificial
rift, a place where no love is allowed to be exchanged with the evil
unbelievers. "Be not unequally yoked" and all that. (An aside: All
cults discourage contact with unbelievers and apostates. It's not a
very nice part of religion.) I am no longer a Christian, James.
Hopefully your love for us will continue unconditionally as mine
continues for you. Hopefully my not having the "right" thoughts and
opinions about religion in my brain will not rob me of the opportunity
to be a real grandparent someday. But, you hold all the cards on that.

Love,
Dad





Mar 13, 2008 6:19 PM

Thanks for the response again,



I knew this would go this way of you using intellect and knowledge of the Bible and plethoras of books to reason with me. I'm sure you think I am naive like the other billion people hearding like sheep to their "Salvation." I've read your "extimony" years ago. I've done my share of research too, although not nearly as in depth as yours. In fact, I had quite admired you and your website, and believed many things on there had a good point. I had labeled myself agnostic, even so far as to put it in my Marine Corps record online. I was completely contented living hedonistically fulfilling every pleasure of life. But everything was empty, garbage. I was woken up spiritually. I felt inside like the worst person in the world. Guilt. Why? I had the appearance of morality on the outside, but inside was dead. Look, I haven't even been to church yet. No one is indoctrinating me. This change came from ancient truths stamped into my heart at conception. I knew that yes, there is a God, and yes I am a horrible person. Then I thought, why do we KNOW things are wrong, such as murder? If murder is wrong then what about abortion? Adultery? Or anything? Seeing as you don't worship my God (although you still worship something...or someone), then would it be ok if I went to a house full of 100 1 week old babies and killed them all? There is no one to answer to right? No God. Yet abortion is legal as if the baby just 7 days ago wasn't a person. God's rules are for our best and keep us happy. To live outside of that means death and unhappiness. It is easy to be philosophical and rationalize God away when we have so much and the refrigerator is always full.



I am sorry you thought my approach was rude, didn't mean to come off as such. I am just sorry for you because you are unhappy, and thought blunt truth would be better. Maybe it was a bit blunt, or out of the blue, but not presumtuous or rude. At any rate, I didn't assume anything, I just said "maybe." I don't know your heart. I was just throwing possible scenarios out there.



I am glad you brought up your custody problems with me as a child. The fact you went into such detail in your email and talked to me for hours and hours about my mother with me as a child shows you are sensitive to it. But I already knew that. It is also a reason I named it in one of my possible examples. I recall that even in your "Christian" days you would scream and yell and swear at my mother unrepentantly on the phone. I know of some of the horrible things that went on between you and my mother over me that I don't care to mention. Some have to do with Sally and my mother, but its all really irrelevant. I get to see both sides. I remember being in Japan and you complaining about spending $400 (or whatever) a month on only ONE CHILD! When Dan and Alex didn't cost that to provide for combined. About how she probably spent it on her hair, or on her nails. I distinctly remember both of us laughing and calling her just the "gestational unit" implying that all she was good for is bearing a child but not raising one. This is still the "Christian Days." But I have come to the conclusion that sin has dire consequences. All the heartache you had was caused by yourself. I mean, when you divorce someone with a child for no other reason than you weren't compatible, and look for happiness elsewhere, you have to take in stride the consequences that follow. Yet, you are still justified being mad in your head about what you caused. You were/are mad at my mom for what you did. But you don't see it that way. Just like sins that I have committed have consequences on me and others especially my family. I don't care to elaborate there, but I'd be glad to if you think I am trying to point fingers and judge. Point being, the reason why I said you might have harbored some sin, is that well, maybe you did, but only you can tell, I don't know. I am just as broken of a person as you or worse believe me, that's why I don't say this because I am bitter or something, but to explain myself. Who would I be throw a stone when I am guilty of just as much. And if you think I am talking down to you, I'm sorry you feel as such. It seems as if you think anyone that challenges you is talking down to you. All you can see is that DAVE is being attacked. Its not attacking its loving! Even now you are so vain as to say that you won't have a relationship with your own grandkids unless I initiate it. "I hold the cards on that one" or something. You are too prideful. Good grief Dad! My kids aren't attatchments of me. They are people too. So if I never talked to you, my kids would never know you? That makes no sense. How prideful! Of course you can see them. My mother forces her way on us, and however annoying at times, I'd rather have that, at least we know of her affection. Unequally yoked my butt! You missed the point there. The Bible isn't "Follow this rule, follow that rule" just for rules sake. Its about a humility in heart to God. Its not like I'm becoming co-webmaster with you. Come on now. We talk about you guys often with the kids so they are familiar with you. And every single night, they pray for you guys. Not think about, pray for. You can see the kids anytime, and I look forward to seeing you and bringing them to see their Grandparents.



I understand what you think you believe and you'll probably have an answer for everything, but I thought maybe your own son saying something to you would maybe bring some conviction to you. Maybe a last hope or something. Maybe me being unrealistic, but maybe not. You spoke of all the great things you did in vain for Christianity. You missed the point that by grace are you saved, not of works. The guy on the cross next to Jesus didn't do much for God I am assuming. Yet he was saved. Now you are thinking, oh here we go...but I am serious as God is real. Anyway, if this is how you want it, ok. I will keep my "cult" to myself. I will keep my morals and whole reason for existance to myself. I will hide the reason why I am happy and free, and the reason why death is not on my doorstep from my lips. But its not religion, its reality. You used to say,"It doesn't matter what we think or feel, only reality is what matters." Here's your own saying and now I am living by it. Kind of funny how God works. By the way, you would have never had the desire in your heart to strive to bring me to your house unless God had put it there. And all the money you lost wasn't yours anyway. No delusion, just fact. I love you Dad, and we are looking forward to coming up.



-James





Mar 13, 2008 7:50 PM

James,

None of my conversation here was intended as a slam toward you. I was
talking about myself and why I think what I think. I don't expect
others to necessarily agree with me about anything. I do, however,
have my opinions, and I am not ashamed of them. I generally don't,
however, arbitrarily or quickly change my opinions just because
certain people disagree with me. I don't think most people do that.

Telling all the "stuff I did" as a Christian was only to illustrate
that I at one time really believed in the Christian message. I
believed I was saved. I believed I was indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I
didn't do all that stuff to prove anything to anyone, or to get extra
credit, or to work my way to heaven. I did those things because I
believed those things were the right things to do, motivated out of a
love for God. I did it because I felt good doing it. I wasn't perfect,
but I was forgiven -- right? Isn't that how the saying goes? And,
James, everyone in the United States is indoctrinated with
Christianity, just as everyone in the Middle East is indoctrinated
with Islam. It goes with the territories.

I haven't been slamming you, I hope, but you've been taking a
considerable number of pot shots at me. I really don't think this
conversation is about religion. It's about anger. You seem pissed at
me for a whole string of things. You are quite harsh and dogmatic in
your judgments about my life and quick to point out some of the poor
decisions I've made. Maybe because your childhood was affected by my
decisions you're entitled to that. In any event, I'm not sure what I
can do to resolve that issue. I did the best I knew how at the time,
but obviously I was complete failure. You have painted your own
picture of my life, and in your eyes it's a grotesque monstrosity. No
matter, I certainly can't suddenly start believing things I no longer
believe just to make up for bad decisions. And as much as I might want
to, I'm afraid I can't change the past.

At Perkins you rebuked me for my "arrogance" and I realized then that
there were some deep undercurrents of rage there. James, if I can be
so bold, you have a tremendous memory for negative things in life, but
you seem to forget many of the good things. I honestly think my life
is grand, exciting, fun, and adventurous. I don't see the world and
life as worthless or a waste. I don't expect anyone to follow in my
footsteps or see anything the way I do. I am what I am, and that's all
that I can be. If my approach to life and the tone of my conversation
infuriates you, then it is not really my approach you resent, it's me.

Dad

P.S. You ended with, "By the way, you would have never had the desire

in your heart to strive to bring me to your house unless God had put

it there." Of all the hard things you have written, that one hurts the
most. Congrats.





Mar 13, 2008 9:15 PM



Dad,



Look, none of my conversation was meant to slam you either. I was trying to open your eyes (like that's possible) to the fact that sin causes consequences and that sin is real, because I am ASSUMING that you don't believe in sin or absolute morals. To show that, it might be a reason why you left the faith. That's all. Not casting stones, or pointing fingers, because 4 more would be pointing at me. I'm not mad at all. I'm the un-mad LOL! Please stop turning this into me bashing your past. Its not. Look objectively, not so personally. Don't look at it like, "He is hurting me," look at it like, "He cares about me." I am by no means mad at you. You said "I'm not sure what I can do to resolve that issue" reffering to my childhood. I don't want anything from you, but just to prove a point, would you be willing to apologize to my mother for things over the years? She is not perfect, I know her believe you me. I am sure that she hurt you too. But she is still hurt by you. You come up often in our conversations. Your website is no secret. She even prays for your repentance, even being hurt so. That's why Christianity is REAL! Muslims pray for their enemy's deaths. Very worldy mentality. Very carnal are other religions. Very true to humanity is Christianity. Would you be willing to swallow your pride and be the better man for her? You don't have to, I am just saying, that it might have been a stumbling block. I love you regardless though. And you were a great Dad! Great times we had and often! Don't think I have forgotten all the summertime fun and endless carnivals and bike rides and outings to many places. I became half he father I am today because of your influenced. Truly. I take the boys to this country Ice cream store just because it reminds me of the times you took us to that ice cream store in Jefferson (I think it was there). I just brought up some of the bad to show that you might have had a stumbling block that opened up false spirits, not to convict you. True happiness for me would to see you come back to the cross and give up that burden you've been carrying. But, you know, that's on you.



If you are somehow hurt by saying it was God that brought me to your house, I'm sorry because its all true. Maybe its not hurt but conviction. There is a God and He works in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Who should I be more loyal to? Your feelings, or the everlasting God?

Love,

James





Mar 14, 2008 6:10 AM



James,

I don't have any more to offer in this conversation except to restate my love and wish you the best in this new chapter of your life.

See ya soon,

Dad