Posts tagged with "mania"
Today i went and seen anew doctor..He prescipted me "latuda"along with the trazodone, haldol..Im now on 2 antipchsycotic meds which leads me to believe im borderline schhzoprenic...They havent changed my diagnosis but im begining to wonder if i should as them when i go back
Febuary 8, 2012. went to see dr today for final visit with "cedars center" doctor.Instead of dropping the scripts he added to them now im taking 4 meds insted of just 2 meds.Im on lithium carb, trazadone, inderal and celexa.I explained to him that i been a week clean beause i didnt like taking the pills; wanted to see if it was the pills were maKing me feel the way i was or getting high would make me feel better,the pills won.He kept asking me how i felt a if he didnt know...It made my head hurt and i felt sick to my stomach.I dont know if this is the end of my doctor visits completly or just a pause in my treatment. well see how i function now im on 4 different meds.
So after a week off the pristiq and having an allergic reaction im starting to have alot of manic episodes..Im feverishly and spontaniously doing things and feeling the go.Go.Go mode.Itll only be followed by a downslide but when i dont know yet..Im in bed by 10 and 11 and up at the crack ass of dawn ready to do something..The haldol works good but it doesnt keep me at a level ground. its either a high or a low mentally..Anything in between is a rareity anymore.When i take it i pass out for an a hour and half then feel like shit for about an hour..I have to say on a postive note no more real delusions as long as i dont stare into the sky to much.at times i have to take 3mg instead of 2 mg just to slow my self down..Whether or not its good for me i dont know..All i know is a crash is going to happen i just dont know when.i also fond out this past week that im a 3rd generation bipolar/ manic peson.my grandma(r.i.p),my mom and now me have or had this mental disorder.grandma drank and ran away from her kids and became a jesus freak later in life,my mom ignores it and puts me down for doing something about it.
January 24 2012. tomorrow i go to my first meeting with my case manager at oaklawn..Im a lil nervous and excited to know more about my mental disrder. i also might start a group called P.I.I.T this week.Asfar as my mental state its a come and go thing.i still dont like taking these pills.Im up to 7 a day.3 lithium,3 chlynodine and trazodone aat night.Though im noticing the chlynoddine isnt helping with the stress or anger.
Had to call ddr office again about the mania..Its still happening and really wanna get off the rollercoaster and walk around for a bit..Going to see dr on monday to discuss a new script line again and hopefully no allergic. repercussions this time
Since ive stopped the prestiq ive noticed alot of mania..Was it worth stopping the script vs having welts on my hans and fingers.Yeah,but this roller coaster hasnt peaed yet an its begining to spill out again..Lil to no sleep,taking short and brief naps..It really sucks.When the top of the hill hits its going to be a good sign. need to level out soon..Ust go.Go.Go and very bothersome to feel that way..Imm finding things todo when i need to be still and pay attention..If i could id wear my shoes to sleep just so when i do fall asleep and wake up i cand do something.(this is what manic/mania does to me)
April 6, 2012.Had to call the nurses line again.Im jjust not getting thru the day.I take the medicine at night and by mid point oof the next day im ready too hurt someone again.Its a viscious cycle.Take in the morning bby late afternoon,take at noon by late day..Nothing is keeping me stablle..
January 27 2012.Ive been struggling taking these stupid pills.Ive all but stopped taking them.The chlynodine is not working for the stress and anger.I decided to go get high again to see if its these meds are worth taking..
January 22 2012. the last few days have been ok since i left "cedar center".I definatly dont like taking the pills 2 tims a day now i have to take them 3 times a day.I get to see my case manager on the 25th and see what i gotta do next.I know ive been stressed and a lil paranoid but ready to move on with this treatment.
January 19 2012 (Day 2 cedars center) After a rough night and not sleeping much they finally found something thatll put me to sleep. Im back on lithium carb for depression and chlonodine, and trazodone are new for me for sleeplessness and stress.Im not liking this controlled enviorment and especcially not being to have a ciggerette.They put me on a nicotine patch and lousengers to help with cravings.The foods good and staff seems nice.I dont care for the mini classes i have to go to but who knows maybe ill get out in a few hours because its a 24hrs release i think.I didnt like being woke up an being held down so they could draw blood,not one bit and i let them know how i felt about that.Give a brother a chance to wake up not subdue them once they wake you up.
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